The Amazing Race: Friends Edition
by Lisztian Dragon
Summary: Monica and Chandler, Ross and Rachel as well as Phoebe and Joey have been invited to race around the world for one million dollars, along with nine other teams. Who will have the prowess to win the money? Read and find out! Updates on Sundays!
1. Prologue and Preparations

**The Amazing Race – Friends Edition**

_Author's note: I've wanted to write this for a__** long **__time – like I've been planning for several weeks in my head._

_The premise of the story is simple – Monica and Chandler, Ross and Rachel as well as Joey and Phoebe have been invited to participate in The Amazing Race (which is a reality TV show hosted by Phil Keoghan (The Eliminator) where twelve teams of two travel all around the world – and the first team to make it to the finish line wins a million bucks!). There are usually twelve legs – each with a pit-stop where teams check in and rest for usually twelve hours and the last team is typically eliminated._

_What you need to know about the Friends before starting this particular story: Monica and Chandler have recently married; Ross and Rachel have started dating – but it's not serious yet – and may or may not last depending on what happens; and Phoebe and Joey are good friends (both single – and may or may not develop a romantic interest in one another during the progression of the story). _

_I guess you could consider this story as a "season" of Friends – even though race itself takes typically 30-40 days to run its course._

_The current plan as of the moment that there is to be fourteen or fifteen chapters – including a prologue and an epilogue. (But they will probably be huge-ass chapters.)_

_And at the end – I will put up a framework of all the places they went. _

_But anyways, enough with the rambling – anything else you need to know about the Race will be explained through the actions of the Friends during this chapter and other chapters – if need be – and don't forget to leave me some reviews! _

_For the sake of the first chapter – none of the other Friends know that the rest of their gang is going to be in the race – due to secretive reasons._

_Cheers – __**Lisztian Dragon**__ – July 23, 2011_

_I don't own Friends – and I don't own the concept of The Amazing Race. _

_Because of how much research and crap that I have to do – expect at most a weekly (I will aim for Sunday evenings (EST time)) update – since I am writing Trysts as well!_

_And I swear I will finish this, as well as Trysts – even if it kills me. :D_

* * *

><p><strong>Prologue and Preparations <strong>

**M\|/C**

Chandler Bing contentedly walked the streets of New York City, happily humming to himself after a rather decent day at work. Despite it being February, it was a relatively mild day outside and Chandler was eager to spend the rest of his evening with his beloved wife Monica doing you-know-what that couples do.

He reached the apartment and walked up the stairs. When he finally reached Apartment number 20, he retrieved his keys from his coat pocket and briskly opened the door.

The sight that greeted him was **definitely not **what he was expecting.

"Honey, I am home!" He called out his traditionally greeting – signalling that he was home.

"Chandler! Chandler! **Guess** what?" His wife ran up to him with an enthusiastic grin and greeted him with the customary hug and kiss.

Chandler noticed that she's holding an envelope in one hand.

"Hmm... Did Ross and Rachel finally elope **again**? Did George W. Bush grow an extra head?" Chandler replied jokingly.

"No, sweetie – we got an invitation!" Monica could hardly contain her excitement.

"An invitation to what? The Queen's ball in England?"

"Nope! Wrong again! Remember those really long applications we filled out awhile ago and that video we made..." Monica attempted give Chandler some hints.

Chandler processed the information slowly.

"What? We got invited to participate in _The Amazing Race_ - despite **that **utterly ridiculous and ludicrous video that we made?" Chandler exclaimed in a bewildered fashion.

"It couldn't have **been **that bad – if they wrote back and said that they loved it!" Monica defended.

"Oh my god! We are **actually** going to be racing around the world for a million bucks!" The full implications of the invitation had just struck Chandler full force.

"Oh my god! We will be travelling all around the world for free! And we **are **so going to win the money!" Monica started to do a little dance.

Chandler joined in and they ended up having a very celebratory night – not too different from the one that he had been envisioning earlier – with champagne. Lots of it.

**P\|/J**

"Hey Phoebs! Did you get this rather strange looking envelope today?" Joey waved an envelope in front of Phoebe's face.

Phoebe looked questioningly at the envelope in front of her face before her eyes lit up.

"Hell yeah, Joey Tribbiani! We are **going** to see the world!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"And I get to see all the hot chicks that the world has to offer!" Joey smiled as he conjured up interesting mental images in his mind.

"Joey!" Phoebe yelled exasperatedly and slugged him on the shoulder.

"Sorry Phoebs, got a little carried away – you will always be my number one girl!" Joey reassured her with a puppy-dog look.

Phoebe gave Joey an I-forgive-you-look.

"We **might** even be going to London, baby!" Joey broke the silence.

"Yeah! Since you lot all got to go, but me!" Phoebe looked sadly.

Joey hated to see Phoebe sad – so he quickly came up with something to cheer her up.

"Oh don't worry Phoebs, we will see **many** other places – and just the **two** of us!"

"And we are so bringing that dough home!" Phoebe's sad expression immediately transformed into a determined one.

"One million dollars! Imagine how many hot chicks I can score with that! And all the food!"

"Joey!" Phoebe groaned.

Some **things** never changed.

"Alright, alright!" Joey held out his hands in mock-surrender.

"We need a plan – if we want that money." Phoebe scratched her head.

Joey and Phoebe sat down at Joey and Rachel's kitchen counter and started to brainstorm some ideas.

**R\|/R**

Ross and Rachel were happily taking a walk together in Central Park – enjoying their time **alone** as a couple. They had both managed to take the day off and spent much of the time pursuing activities that couples typically do – such as taking leisurely walks.

"I can't believe we are going all around the world!" Rachel smiled at Ross.

"Yeah... And doing it together with you!" Ross replied happily.

"I hope we go to Paris – and I hope they give us some time to shop and look around!" Rachel exclaimed

Ross looked at Rachel oddly. He knew from shows from previous years that the Amazing Race was not a relaxing affair – but rather a strenuous and challenging task that left one way too exhausted to do touristy things.

"You do know that we are going to be there to race! Not to sight-see and spend hours browsing through stores!" Ross replied.

"Aw, Ross, we probably do have time!" Rachel pouted

"Nope, I don't think so." Ross firmly replied back.

"Alright, whatever you think is best." Rachel sighed.

"And besides, if we win those one million dollars – you can always go to Paris and buy whatever you want!"

Rachel brightened up.

"And we can go travelling where-ever we like too!" Rachel looked all excited at the prospect.

"Well, first things first – we've got to get that million bucks – you in Rach?"

"Definitely!"

Rachel and Ross high-fived each other and decided to head off towards Ross's apartment.

**M\|/C**

"Monica! Can we stop and rest now! I feel like I am going to fall flat on the ground!" Chandler barely managed to get the words out.

Monica and Chandler had been out running in Central Park and had started almost three-quarters of an hour ago. Monica was in her element – tirelessly pounding the pavement – while Chandler just wanted to fall over and die.

"Fifteen more minutes, honey and we can call it a day!" Monica shouted.

"Oh my god! If the Race doesn't kill me, this boot-camp will absolutely do me in!" Chandler muttered mutinously to himself.

Said boot-camp had consisted of them running at 6:00 AM every day when the weather allowed for it, working out at the gym at least twice a week and doing various exercises before turning into bed every night.

At least – Chandler reflected – that he was actually in better shape physically than he had ever been in his life.

"What was that, Chandler Bing?" Monica asked with suspicion dripping in her tone.

"Nothing, dear! Absolutely nothing!" Chandler quickly covered.

"Ten more minutes left!" Monica shouted back at Chandler.

So for the next ten minutes, Chandler struggled to keep up with Monica. When she finally stopped, Chandler supported himself with one hand against a large tree, sweat dripping all over his forehead and drenching his clothes.

"Now doesn't that feel good!" Monica exclaimed while spreading her arms out above her head in a stretch.

"I think you better call 9-1-1 – I am going to have a heart attack!" Chandler groaned.

"Aw... Chandler – let's go back home and take a bath – together!" Monica grinned.

Monica grabbed Chandler by the arm and they walked back home to their apartment.

**P\|/J**

"Hey Phoebs? Are you any good at swimming?" Joey asked.

Phoebe and Joey were standing in front of an enormous swimming pool at the local community center and were dressed in their bathing suit and trunks, respectively.

"Kind of!" Phoebe grinned.

"Really, what strokes can you do?" Joey asked another question eagerly.

"Oh, oh! I can do the doggy-paddle and that stroke where it looks like you are slapping the water!" Phoebe smiled.

"Nice! Wanna race?" Joey had a very excited expression on his face.

"Oh yeah! On the count of three?"

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

Phoebe and Joey both simultaneously dove into the pool and in a flurry of arm and leg movements that caused rather huge sprays, propelled themselves through the water. Phoebe got to the other end first and Joey gasped for air as he reached for the wall after her.

"Tribbiani! You've got to move a bit faster if you want to catch me!" Phoebe smiled playfully at Joey.

"Hey, I let you win that one!" Joey defended himself.

"Oh yeah? Then let's have a rematch!"

"You are on!"

A moment later, they both took off again, furious splashes trailing after them.

**R\|/R**

Rachel and Ross were sitting on Ross's sofa, going over the details from the invitation very carefully.

"Be sure that you are able to travel to all of these places during the months of July and August – acquiring the required visas will be you responsibility." Rachel read from the letter.

"Woah, that's a lot of visas to get!" Ross looked over the list.

"Mm... Argentina, Brazil, Chile, UAE, Canada, United Kingdom, all of Europe, Russia, Mongolia, India, China, Japan, Australia, South Africa, Ghana, Egypt, New Zealand, Mexico, Iceland, Indonesia, Pakistan, Turkey, Vietnam, Thailand, Uganda, Zimbabwe, Singapore – " Rachel continues reading.

"Alright, Rach, I think we get the point!" Ross interjected.

"We aren't going to all those places, are we, Ross?" Rachel asked dubiously.

"No, they only gave us this huge list so we **don't **know where we are going." Ross sighed.

"Yeah, there's no way we could go through all **that **in thirty days."

"I hope we get to go to China – there's some interesting fossils that I saw last time I went!" Ross reminisced nostalgically.

"Ross! We probably won't get to see any fossils – especially if you said we had no time to do other things!" Rachel reminded him.

"Right, I guess we should probably go look into which visas we have to get – and where."

"Sounds like a plan – do you have your laptop?" Rachel inquired.

"Yup, let me go get it!"

Ross got up from the couch and went to go retrieve his laptop from his room.

**P\|/J**

"So, Phoebe, what are we doing here at this building, in this very long line?" Joey asked.

"We are getting our visas, Joey – it's like your ticket to certain countries!" Phoebe explained.

"Oh, like movie theatre tickets!" Joey replied knowingly.

"Yup, if you don't have one – you can't go!"

Joey and Phoebe had been waiting in a large line filled with people of Asian ethnicity at the Consulate for the People's Republic of China for the past hour.

"So what did your psychic say about our chances of winning?" Joey asked Phoebe.

"Oh, he said that I will win at something in the near future - but he didn't know what exactly." Phoebe replied back.

"Ooh! That sounds good!" Joey smiled dreamily.

"Well, it could be anything – I could win the lottery, I could win a million bucks, or even win the next measly game of rock, paper scissors!" Phoebe sighed.

"Aw... That's terrible!" Joey exclaimed at the last thing Phoebe mentioned.

"At least it's better than losing at everything!" Phoebe replied.

"Let's try it out!" Joey suggested a few seconds later.

"Okay!"

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

"Oh, I beat you!" Joey grinned – scrunching up Phoebe's rock with his paper.

"Looks like my future win isn't for that game!" Phoebe grinned.

"Y'know Phoebs, I think we are the only white people in the line, Phoebs." Joey took various glances around.

"I don't think so, look over there Joey!" Phoebe pointed to a couple.

"Hey, don't those people kind of look like Ross and Rachel?" Joey puzzled.

"You are right, Joey! They do look like Ross and Rachel!" Phoebe squinted.

"What are they doing here? I never knew that they were going to China!" Joey looked very confused.

"I didn't either!"

"You wanna go ask them later?"

"Sure. Joey – did you bring your passport?" Phoebe asked.

"My passport – it's in my drawer! Can't lose that!" Joey exclaimed.

Joey thought a little more. Suddenly it dawned on him!

"Oh my god! I forgot to bring my passport!"

"Joey Tribbiani – why did you not mention this earlier? Now we have to come back tomorrow!" Phoebe sighed.

"Sorry Phoebs – totally slipped my mind!' Joey groaned.

**R\|/R**

"Ross, honey, isn't that Phoebe and Joey?" Rachel pointed to two people at the end of the line leaving for the front door.

"What?" Ross turned around to look at the two rapidly vanishing figures in the distance.

"Phoebe and Joey!" Rachel repeated herself.

"You are right, Rach! What on earth could they be doing here?" Ross inquired.

"They never mentioned that they were going to go to China!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Come to think of it – everyone has been acting kind of secretive these past few months..." Ross mused.

"Yeah, even Monica and Chandler are always off gallivanting somewhere!" Rachel presented more evidence.

"Do you think..." Ross trailed off.

"Nah, it seems horribly unlikely if we are all racing this summer." Rachel interrupted Ross's question.

"Yeah. It's statistically **almost** improbable." Ross agreed.

"Thank goodness that this our last visa that we need to get – I am frankly getting tired of lining up in these long lines!" Rachel gave a relieved sigh.

"We are almost at the front, anyways." Ross nodded.

"Oh look, we are next!" Rachel exclaimed after a group of people in front of them moved to the next available counter.

**M\|/C**

"This is pretty nice, Chandler!" Monica sighed as she dipped her paddle in the water.

"Yeah. We are pretty good at this, aren't we?" Chandler grinned back at her.

"I know!" Monica flashed Chandler a big smile.

Monica and Chandler were paddling a canoe in a river in a National Park somewhere close to New York City.

"I can't believe we are almost through that list you made a few months ago of everything that we needed to know how to do before the Race starts!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Yup, it's been an interesting few months."

"Indeed." Chandler replied back.

"Oh look, rapids!" Chandler pointed downstream.

"Okay, let's not talk now." Monica suggested.

With intense concentration, Monica and Chandler avoided all the rocks in the rapids with rather skilful teamwork and it wasn't long before they reached the bottom of the series of rapids. They both shared a grin and a high five.

"That was a little a scary." Chandler admitted, wiping some sweat of his brow.

"Yeah, it was a little." Monica replied.

"But **better** to be scared now than later." Chandler said rather wisely.

"Oh, of course!" Monica nodded.

The two of them paddle in silence for a while, admiring the peacefulness of their surroundings and enjoying each other's company.

"Chandler, whatever they tell us to do on that Race, no matter how crazy, we are going to do it, okay?" Monica inquired.

"Well, we have very little choice in that matter – but I will try and not be a big chicken!"Chandler remarked.

"Oh, you will be fine!" Monica replied reassuringly.

"I hope so! I mean, commitment used to be my biggest fear, and look at me now!" Chandler brandished his paddle in the air.

"Yup – happily married now!" Monica grinned.

"Of course."

The two of them placed their paddles in the boat and moved closer to share a kiss or two in the middle of the river.

**R\|/R**

"Rachel! There's no way we can bring all that clothing with us!" Ross looked horrified at all the clothes that Rachel had piled up on her bed.

"But, Ross! I have too!" Rachel pleaded.

"We have to carry everything we bring on our backs – and frankly I don't think they will **even fit **in our backpacks!" Ross exclaimed.

"But –" Rachel started again, but was cut off by Ross.

"No buts Rach." Ross went to sit on Rachel's bed and began to sort through the massive pile of clothes.

Rachel looked on with dismay as she saw Ross firmly place many of the clothes that she had picked out in the "no bring" pile.

"If I run out of clothes, Ross Geller – it will be **all** your fault!" Rachel blamed.

"Hah, like that's ever going to happen," Ross muttered to himself.

"I heard that!" Rachel flung a pillow at Ross.

"And you do know, we probably will have a chance to wash our clothing too – so there's no need to bring thirty sets of outfits either!" Ross placed the pillow back on the bed.

"Hey guys, what'cha doing?" Joey walked into Rachel's room.

"Packing." Rachel replied nonchalantly.

"Where are you guys going?" Joey persisted.

"We can't tell you." Ross replied.

"Oh that's funny; Phoebe and I are going somewhere too, in like three days!" Joey began to think hard.

"Really, we are too!" Rachel exclaimed excitedly.

"We will tell you, if you will tell us!" Joey offered.

"But that's against the rules!" Ross warned.

"Oh you guys have rules?" Joey replied knowingly.

"Do you know something that we don't know?" Rachel asked cryptically.

"Do you know something that I don't know?" Joey winked.

"Oh stop it!" Ross face-palmed.

"You know what; I have a gut feeling that we will know in three days! Good bye Ross and Rachel!" Joey closed the door on the way out.

"You know what Ross; I think we both know where we are going." Rachel said as soon as Joey had shut the door.

"And I have a feeling that it is going to be the same place too." Ross replied.

"What a small world," Rachel sighed.

**M\|/C**

"Toothbrushes!" Chandler exclaimed while reading off a rather extensive list.

"Check!" Monica placed a pair of toothbrushes in a clear-waterproof plastic bag.

"Toothpaste."

"Check!" Monica dropped a medium sized tube of toothpaste in the bag.

Chandler quickly went through all the toiletries, and Monica placed the bag in one of their large backpacks.

"Sunscreen!" Chandler called out.

Monica ran towards the kitchen and hunted through the cupboards to find the bottle. She placed that in the backpack.

"Shame we can't bring any maps." Chandler commented.

"Yeah, too bad – we will just have to make use of whatever we can find at the local places." Monica sighed.

"Oh well, how about the tarp?" Chandler asked.

"It's right over here!" Monica grabbed a rolled up bundle and stuffed it in one of the bags.

"Sleeping bags?" Chandler inquired.

"Got it!" Monica pointed to two other rolled up bundles on the ground.

"Let's just put our bags of clothes in and I think we are finished!" Chandler replied.

"Oh, I almost forgot about my notebook!" Monica ran into her room and came out with a simple small book.

"Right, we should keep track of everything we do, just in case we need to remember something." Chandler grinned knowingly.

"Yeah, they like to have memory tasks at the end." Monica agreed.

The two of them finished packing up their clothes, Monica's bag of tools that they double checked to ensure that they could be carried on in planes, reusable water bottles, some heavy duty gloves, some string, a simple first-aid kit and a few other articles.

"Let's weigh them." Chandler goes into the washroom and took out a scale.

Monica placed one of the bags on it. She repeated the step for the other bag.

"Looks fine to me." Monica remarked.

"Yeah. I guess we are ready for tomorrow, aren't we?" Chandler smiled.

"Oh yeah. Most definitely. The other racers won't even know what hit them!" Monica exclaimed.

"Well, seeing that we actually finished everything before schedule – why don't we schedule in some naked fun time?"Chandler asked mischievously.

"I like the way you think, Mr. Big!" Monica winked back as Chandler reached down, picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.

**P\|/J**

Phoebe and Joey were having an Amazing Race marathon at Phoebe's place. They were both sprawled out on the couch and sharing an enormous bowl of popcorn between them. They had already packed – Phoebe had double and triple-checked everything Joey had decided to bring on the race. She especially made sure that Joey had his passport with him.

"You know what, Phoebs?" Joey started.

"What, Joey?" Phoebe inquired.

"I think all of **us** are going to be in San Francisco tomorrow – at the starting line!" Joey exclaimed.

"What do you mean by **all**?" Phoebe asked.

"You know, Ross and Rachel and Chandler and Monica!" Joey replied.

"How did you know that?" Phoebe looked rather suspiciously at Joey.

"I had an interesting conversation with Ross and Rachel a few days ago and they dropped enough hints that even I – Joey Tribbiani can put the pieces together!"

"Oh really? How about Mon and Chandler?" Phoebe pressed further.

"Oh that's easy. They've been all secretive since February and I've actually seen Chandler work out! Chandler **never **works out!" Joey exclaimed.

"You are right, Joey – Chandler does look pretty fit these days!" Phoebe agreed.

"So I guess we **know** that we are all going – but the others don't!" Joey smiled.

"Joseph Tribbiani – you are smarter than you look!"

"Thanks, Phoebs!"

The two friends quietly settled back on the couch and proceeded to continue watching.


	2. The Things We Eat for a Million Dollars!

A/N – so here's the first leg. Kind of tame in my opinion – but all the craziness can come later. Let me know what you think – and if you have any suggestions on places or things they can do – let me know.

Thanks for the reviews – and please leave a review!

See you next Sunday! :P

This episode of the Amazing Race was brought to you by Wikipedia, Google Maps and American Airlines - enjoy!

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><p><strong>The Amazing Race – Friends Edition (1<strong>**st**** Leg) - "The things we eat for a million dollars!"- Phoebe  
><strong>

All the teams stood in a semi-circle formation, all eager to begin their race around the world. Behind the teams, the world-famous Golden Gate Bridge loomed over them – reminding them that they were about to embark on an adventure where they would all see many amazing places and do even more amazing things in the days ahead. In front of everyone stood the Joseph Strauss Statue – a tribute to the engineer who had designed the architectural marvel behind them all.

Everyone was waiting patiently or rather impatiently for Phil Keoghan to arrive so that the race could start. But what was perplexing to them all was an enormous heap of colourful plastic plates that lay in front of the statue. Each plate had a word imprinted on them, but the plates were located too far for any of the teams to read.

**M/|\C**

Monica and Chandler were standing at the far left of the formation – both very bemused that Ross, Rachel, Phoebe and Joey were actually going to race with them – all around the world.

"I can't believe everyone is here!" Chandler exclaimed to Monica.

"I know, what are the chances of **that **happening?" Monica replied back.

"I also can't believe we are here! I mean we spent all those months preparing, but it feels so surreal!" Chandler remarked.

"I know what you mean." Monica reached for Chandler's hand.

"Does it bother you that our friends are here?" Chandler asked.

"It doesn't change our strategy one bit – we will play nice but we will work alone." Monica whispered to Chandler.

"Yeah, I guess so." Chandler agreed.

"Where is Phil, anyways – I really want to go!" Monica exclaimed, her excitement was threatening to bubble over.

"Oh, there he is!" Chandler pointed at a figure making his way towards all the contestants.

**R/|\R**

Rachel and Ross were standing in the centre of all the teams and both were anticipating Phil's arrival. Ross had one arm around Rachel's waist – and they were enjoying the last few moments of peace.

"What are all those colourful plate things, anyways?" Rachel asked Ross, while pointing to the pile.

"I have no idea – never seen that on an episode of _The Amazing Race_, ever!" Ross replied back.

"Well, maybe we have to do a task, right here!" Rachel grinned.

"Seems unlikely but would explain their presence." Ross shook his head.

"So everyone is here." Rachel changed the topic.

"I can't believe it! We knew Joey and Phoebe were coming, but not my sister and Chandler!" Ross exclaimed.

"At least they are friendly faces." Rachel sighed.

"Really, Rach? This is a race for a million dollars – and you know Monica and her need to win!" Ross looked sceptically at Rachel.

"But Chandler can rein her in!" Rachel refuted.

"Yeah, right!" Ross huffed.

"She's not that bad!" Rachel defended her friend.

"Oh well, we concentrate on us and hopefully we can win!"

"Oh look, Phil's coming, better shut up now." Rachel smiled.

**P\|/J**

Phoebe and Joey are restlessly moving around. They've been placed one team away to the right of Ross and Rachel and they were both eagerly waiting for Phil to show up.

"We are **going** to see the **world**, baby!" Joey exclaimed.

"I know, Joey! I **can't** wait!" Phoebe bounced lightly on her feet.

"And I am right! Rachel, Ross, Chandler and Monica are all here too!" Joey was bursting with excitement.

"Yup. I never doubted you, Joey Tribbiani!" Phoebe replied with equal enthusiasm.

"I can't believe it! **I can't believe it**! We are going all around the world!" Joey returned to his initial reason for being hyper.

"We are going all around the world!" Phoebe linked her arm with Joey and they spin around in circles.

"Hey Phoebs, you think we should save some of our energy for the actual race?" Joey inquired.

"Oh, you're right Joey! But I am just so excited."

"Me too."

"Look it's Phil!" Joey exclaimed in awe.

"Oh my god! It's the Eliminator himself!" Phoebe gasped.

"Oh my god! It's going to happen!" Joey cried out.

"Get ready, Joey, we've got a race to win!"

"You've got it, Phoebs!"

**M/|\C**

Monica and Chandler watched as Phil Keoghan strode to the origin of the semi-circle. Today was a relatively warm day in San Francisco and the fresh breeze from the ocean behind all the teams cooled everyone off.

"Welcome everyone!" Phil's voice filled the air, while he raised his arms up to gesture to them collectively.

Whoops and hollers were heard from all the racers.

"In just a few moments, you will be leaving on a trip around the world." He spoke again after the first round of cheering had died off.

"Hell yeah!" Phoebe's exclamation punctuated the air – and everyone turned to stare at her.

"As you guys probably all know, at the end of each leg, there is a Pit Stop. Some of these Pit Stops are elimination points, so you will need to get to them as fast as possible – because if you are last – you may be eliminated!"

"But before you may go get your bags, there is a little task that you will need to do."

Little gasps of surprise could be heard from the crowd.

Phil walked over to the pile of plastic plates and from behind the pile he pulls out an enormous wooden sign that read: Hamburg is to Germany; Marseilles is to _.

"Bring me the correct piece that completes the puzzle and I will give you your first clue and plane tickets to your next destination. Be warned – only the first six teams will get to go on the earlier flight!"

Chandler squirmed excitedly in his spot – he already knew what the answer was to this particular puzzle.

"After you get your clue and tickets – you may run to the parking lot – over there and drive yourselves to the airport." Phil pointed behind him to a parking lot where various coloured cars were parked.

"What you do after that is completely up to you! But the first team that crosses the finish line- will win the one million dollars!"

Cheers and hollers filled the air once again.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes!" Everyone screamed back.

"The world is waiting for you! Good luck, travel safe – GO!" Phil brought down his arm.

And at that moment – all hell broke loose as everyone made a mad dash for the colourful pile.

"Mon, look for France!" Chandler whispered in her ear.

"You sure?" Monica asked.

"Yes, I am very sure."

Monica and Chandler dashed towards the pile after everyone else.

"Paris, nope," Monica threw down a red plate.

"Russia, definitely not," Chandler tossed the yellow plate behind him.

"USA, China, London, Lyon, Germany – where is that plate?" Monica wondered.

"Oh here it is!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Let's go!" Monica grabbed Chandler's arm and dragged him over to Phil, who was currently denying another team's answer.

"I am afraid that's not the correct answer, try again!" Phil dismissed the competitor in front of him. The dejected couple returned back to the pile.

"So what have you got for me?" Phil asked Monica and Chandler.

"We got you this." Chandler turned over his purple sign which read FRANCE.

"That's correct! You are the second team – good luck!" Phil handed them a yellow clue envelope sealed in a plastic bag.

Monica and Chandler ran to get their bags and headed off towards the parking lot.

**R/|\R**

"Where is that plate?" Ross frustratingly groans.

"I am looking, I am looking!" Rachel exclaimed.

"I know you are! Mon and Chandler already found theirs!"

"Calm down Ross, let's not worry about them – let's worry about us!"

Rachel tossed more plates bearing the words Israel, Paris and Nice out.

"It's like looking for needles in a haystack!" Ross complained.

"I know, but keep looking – if they could find theirs, we can find ours!" Rachel soothed.

"I surely hope so!" Ross grimaced.

"Here's another Paris, argh!" Rachel flung the sign behind her.

Ross was becoming more and more frustrated as they couldn't find the right sign. Other teams had begun to leave for the airport.

But fortunately, Rachel found the sign before Ross could issue another complaint.

"Okay, let's go Ross!" Rachel ran towards Phil.

"So what do you guys have for me?" Phil inquired.

"This." Rachel turned over her yellow sign with the word FRANCE on it.

"Here is your next clue and plane tickets – you guys are last on the first flight!"

"Woohoo!" Ross gave Rachel a high-five.

"Let's go and see the world, Ross!" Rachel was already running towards her bag.

"Wait up for me, Rach!" Ross ran after her.

**P/|\J**

"Hey Phoebs, maybe we are looking at this problem all wrong." Joey stopped to think.

"Yeah, I don't think the answer to that question is Paris." Phoebe replied.

"Yeah, what's Hamburg? Sounds like an incomplete hamburger to me!" Joey asked – while thinking about hamburgers.

"Ah! Hamburg! Sounds awfully familiar," Phoebe dug deep into her memory.

"Did it have to do with Germany?" Joey got a sudden inspiration.

"Oh yes! Hamburg is one of the bigger cities in Germany!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"And Marseilles is in France!" Joey whispered to Phoebe.

"Is it?" Phoebe looked quizzically at Joey.

"Oh yeah! Read it somewhere in this book we bought about countries, remember?" Joey reminded Phoebe.

"See I knew that book would come in useful!" Phoebe grinned.

"Now let's look for the right plate!" Joey sifted through the plate pile.

Phoebe joined in, and between the two of them, they had a huge amount of plates thrown outside the main pile in no time. Suddenly Joey picked up a blue plate.

"F-R-A-N-C-E! That spells France! We got the plate, we got the plate!" Joey yelled excitedly.

"Keep it down Joey; we don't need the others to know!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Let's go see Phil!" Joey took off.

"Wait for me, Joey!"

"So what have you guys got for me?" Phil asked Joey.

"I've got this!" Joey turned his blue plate over.

"That's correct! Here's your ticket and clue – you guys are first on the second plane."

"Damn it! We were so close!" Phoebe shouted.

"Don't worry Phoebs, we can still catch up to everyone else!" Joey began to run for the parking lot.

"Wait Joey! Don't forget the bags!" Phoebe ran towards the bags.

**M/|\C**

"So, Chandler, do you know where are we going?" Monica made a left turn on Cranston Road.

"Yeah, pretty much," Chandler examines the map that Phil had so kindly provided.

"Do I go on US-101?" Monica looked anxiously at the passing signs.

"South – towards San Francisco," Chandler replied.

"Okay, so I turn left at the next available left.

"Yes, Mon."

""So what's our flight info?" Monica asked.

Chandler fumbled with the plastic bag and took out the envelope that contained the tickets. He carefully opened it and read the flight information to Monica.

"American Airlines – flight number 89 – from San Francisco to Chicago and then flight number 5247 to Paris, France. It leaves at 3:15 – so we've still got more than two hours."

"Oh that's good." Monica grinned.

"And we are going to Paris too! We were planning to go there anyways this summer – if it weren't for the race," Chandler remarked.

"It's really nice on how well things work out sometimes," Monica smiled.

"Yup, and it's kind of creepy that there is a cameraman recording everything right beside you too." Chandler quipped.

"Hey! Your cameraman has a name, y'know!"

**P/|\J**

"So we are on the second flight – that kinda sucks!" Joey remarked to Phoebe.

"Oh don't worry Joey – maybe they will have a delay – and we won't have one!" Phoebe replied back optimistically.

"I like that kind of thinking, Phoebs!" Joey smiled.

"It's called positive thinking, Joey. Hopefully karma won't be a bitch!" Phoebe replied hopefully.

"What's karma?" Joey asked.

"Oh, don't you worry over it. It's all good."

"Hey, we just passed Ross and Rachel!" Joey exclaimed.

"Hell yeah, and I am going to pass that team too!" Phoebe pushed the gas.

"Thank goodness we've got seatbelts."

"You haven't seen anything yet – Tribbiani! We've got four more teams to catch!"

Joey groaned and held on for dear life.

**R/|\R**

"Ross, you are driving way too slowly!" Rachel exclaimed.

"I am driving at the speed limit – Rach!" Ross defended his driving.

"Well, no one else is!" Rachel looked out the window.

"I want to be alive after this race, Rachel," Ross remarked.

"But I don't want to lose on the first leg, Ross!" Rachel complained.

"And plus, all the planes leave in like two hours – and we definitely can make it at the speed we are driving at," Ross refuted.

"Hey, Phoebe and Joey just passed us!"

"Let them! They are on the second flight anyways!"

Rachel opened the yellow clue envelope.

"Welcome to Paris, France – the City of Lights and some say Love. Once you arrive in Paris – take a taxi to the Arc de Triomphe and find this man (the picture is provided in the clue envelope) to receive your next clue. 150 dollars have been provided for this leg of the race."

"Sounds interesting," Ross remarked.

"Yup, 150 dollars too! That's quite a lot!" Rachel exclaimed.

"We will have to conserve that money – we might need it for an emergency."

Rachel sighed and carefully took the money out of the clue envelope into the wallet that they had brought for keeping money and the credit card used for purchasing plane tickets.

**M/|\C**

"Monica? How about this one?" Chandler asked his wife while showing her a general world guidebook in the airport bookshop.

Monica took the book from Chandler and flipped through it. It had detailed maps of a lot of countries – including very detailed maps of Paris, France – all in English.

"Thirty-five dollars, kind of pricey," Monica remarked.

"But it's the best out of the lot! Plus, I think it will be a good investment, in the long term," Chandler defended his choice.

Monica looked around the selection of guidebooks and maps again – but she couldn't find anything better.

"Alright Chandler, let's get that one then," Monica conceded finally.

"It's not bad – we still have around 115 dollars anyways," Chandler soothed.

"I don't think any of the other teams have gone to the bookshop – so I think we might have an edge," Monica remarked.

"Hopefully, Mon, hopefully,"

The two of them paid for their guidebook and headed out towards their gate – holding hands.

**R/|\R**

"Hey guys, we are all on the first flight, right?" A slightly balding forty something year-old man asked.

Three teams were sitting next to the counter and were waiting out the one hour before their flight to Chicago.

"Yup, that's why we are here," Rachel quipped.

"The name's Gilbert and this is my wife Skye – nice to meet you guys!" Gilbert pointed to a blonde haired woman – also in her forties.

"And I am Ross and this here is Rachel – my girlfriend. Nice to meet you guys too!" Ross replied with a hint of pride in his voice.

"And we are Meredith and Kenneth – he's my dad!" A pretty young brunette with a slight Southern accent joined in.

"So do you know where everyone else on our flight is?" Skye asked.

"No clue – they are probably lost or wandering around the airport – somewhere," Kenneth replied.

"Yeah, it's amazing how many racers get lost on the way to the airport in the first leg!" Gilbert exclaimed.

"Hey Ross, where's Monica and Chandler – they left before us at the starting line?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know – I haven't seen them at all," Ross answered back.

Just then, an announcement was made.

"Due to technical reasons – American Airlines Flight number 89 to Chicago will be delayed for half an hour."

"Crap!" Gilbert swore.

"No swearing, Gilbert – what would all these people think?" Skye reprimanded.

"Oh no!" Rachel groaned.

"That only gives us a ten minute lead on the second flight!" Ross quickly calculated in his mind.

"This is so unfair," Meredith complained.

"Yeah, sweetie – sometimes life happens," Kenneth consoled his daughter.

**P/|\J**

"See, I knew the other flight was going to be delayed!" Phoebe wiggled excitedly in her airplane seat.

"Amazing! All those visits to the psychic are paying off, aren't they?" Joey replied with a grin.

"Totally!" Phoebe grinned.

"Yup, and here we are – on Air France Flight Number 1084 – and we are leaving – five minutes earlier too!" Joey read from the ticket in his hand.

"The gap is closing! The gap is closing!" Phoebe chanted.

"Oh look, we are on the runway!" Joey looked out the window beside him.

"I can't believe we got window seats too! This is great!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"This whole thing is great!" Joey enthused.

"Oh look, we are gathering speed!" Phoebe observed.

"Lift off!" Joey yelled – drawing strange looks from the other passengers on the plane.

Both Joey and Phoebe watched with great interest as the plane lifted off the ground and everything below them got smaller and smaller.

**M/|\C**

"So how do you say _where_ _is_ in French?" Chandler was having an interesting conversation with the French lady sitting beside him on the second very long flight to Paris.

"Ah, _where is_ is _O__ù__ est_," The lady remarked in a strong French accent.

"Où est?" Chandler repeated.

"Oui, oh I mean yes,"

"Oui is yes?"

"Oui."

"Yes?"

"Yes." The lady agreed.

"How about thank you?"

"Oh, that's merci, and _your welcome_ is _de rien_,"

"Merci, madam," Chandler tried.

"De rien. You are quite good at this," The lady complimented.

"De rien," Chandler repeated to himself.

"Well, it's a pity you are married," The lady replied mischievously.

Monica, who was dozing lightly beside Chandler, woke up immediately – but she decided to do nothing and see how her husband would handle this. It could be very entertaining.

"A pity, indeed," Chandler remarked sarcastically.

"Because if you weren't, I could be teaching you other French things as well," The lady replied rather suggestively.

Chandler blushed.

"I am afraid I am going to pass on that – I do love my wife," He replied.

"Dear, are you done flirting with that French lady?" Monica elbowed Chandler.

"I quite think so." Chandler remarked.

"Because, you can meet me in the lavatory, in say five minutes," Monica grinned.

"Oh, of course," Chandler gave her a matching grin.

"And, we can try some French things, if that's what you want," Monica got out of her seat.

"Have fun!" The French lady gave Chandler a wink before he left to go follow Monica a few minutes later.

"Merci, beaucoup!" _(Thanks, much!)_

**R/|\R**

Rachel and Ross made a mad dash out of the plane – well as fast as they could through the people in front of them as soon as the plane had docked at the Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris. They rushed to customs – went through customs and searched high and low for a taxi stand.

They couldn't find any.

So Ross decided to ask someone sitting at a desk.

"Where are all the taxis?" Ross inquired.

"Taxis?" The man asked.

"Yeah," Ross replied.

The man thought for a second and gestured furiously the directions to the nearest taxi stand.

"Wait, so you go left, then up then right?" Ross gestured the movements.

"Non, monsieur, non!" The man repeated his gestures.

Ross tried again.

"Oh, this is hopeless! Here!" Rachel pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.

"Can you draw sir?" Rachel asked while drawing a few arrows on the paper.

"Oui," The man quickly sketched the route.

"Merci," Rachel thanked the man and dragged Ross away from the counter. Sometimes – you don't need a PhD to be smart.

**P/|\J**

"Monsieur, rapide, vite, vite!" Phoebe exclaimed to the taxi driver, after they had shoved their bags in the trunk and had gotten in the car. _(Mister, fast, fast, fast!) _

"Où aller?" The taxi driver inquired. _(Where to?)_

"Arc de Triomphe – s'il vous plait!" _(Arc de Triomphe – please!)_

"Rapidement?" The taxi driver inquired while driving the taxi in the direction out of the airport. _(Quickly?)_

"Très rapide! Nous sommes dans une race!" Phoebe replied in fluent French. _(Very fast, we are in a race!)_

"Très bien, madam!" The taxi driver began to drive fast. _(Very well, madam.)_

"You are so good, Phoebs! I didn't understand a single word of anything you said!" Joey looked at Phoebe in awe.

"Well, French is one of the best languages in the world, Joey. Of course I know how to speak it!" Phoebe smiled proudly.

"Thank goodness you know how to speak it!" Joey sighed in relief.

"Don't worry Joey; I will do all the talking here!"

"But you should tell how to say _how you doing_ in French!" Joey exclaimed.

"No, Joey – I don't think you need to know that!" Phoebe shook her head.

"Come on, Phoebs, please?" Joey looked pleadingly.

"Oh no, I don't think the French girls quite need that around here," Phoebe shot Joey down.

**M/|\C**

"I can't believe it! Why is it that when I am married – all the girls start hitting on me?" Chandler asked Monica while they were in the taxi.

"Really, Chandler?" Monica looked very amused.

"That was three girls on that ten hours and something flight to Paris! Three! And when I was single – I would be lucky to get three girls to hit on me in a year!" Chandler exclaimed.

"There's something about forbidden fruit that draws women in, Chandler," Monica remarked.

"Really?" Chandler looked at Monica sceptically.

"And plus, you are my husband – and I always have the best!" Monica exclaimed.

"Aw... That's sweet of you," Chandler grinned.

"Oh look – the Triumphant Arch!" Monica pointed in the distance.

"Do you have the picture of that moustache guy?" Chandler asked.

"It should be right here!" Monica fumbled through the fanny pack and she pulled out a picture of a macho moustached military guy standing near the Arc de Triomphe.

"You know, he kinda looks like someone that I've seen before," Chandler remarked dryly.

Monica looked at the picture again.

"Nah, I think it's just your imagination – Chandler," Monica knew very well who Chandler was thinking about.

After all these years, Chandler was still weary of moustached, macho men.

**R/|\R**

Ross and Rachel scrambled out of the taxi as soon as Ross paid the fare and they slammed the trunk shut as soon as they retrieved their bags from the back.

There were all sorts of people – tourists and Parisians walking around the Arc de Triomphe and Rachel and Ross had no idea where to start looking.

Rachel noticed that there were several teams also looking – including Monica and Chandler and Phoebe and Joey.

"Damn, the second plane arrived just as soon as the first plane did!" Ross exclaimed.

"Damned delays – now help me look, Ross!" Rachel replied back.

They walked around the front entrance of the Arc – but to no avail. There was no sign of the macho dude from the picture.

"You know, that picture could have been taken at the back of the Arc, y'know?" Ross had a sudden inspiration.

"Oh, we are a pair of idiots!" Rachel sighed.

"Look I think Monica and Chandler just had the same idea!" Ross pointed out the couple walking through the Arc.

"And so does Phoebe and Joey and everyone else! Let's go!" Rachel ran off towards the opening of the Arc de Triomphe.

Ross sighed – he was exhausted and jetlagged from the transatlantic journey, and the hot sunny weather did not make matters better. But he chased after Rachel – it was just as tiring as a palaeontology dig anyways!

**P/|\J**

"Hey look over there Phoebs! It's that guy!" Joey called out while gesturing in front of him.

"What do you know, it is that guy!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"And he has our clue!" Joey ran towards the man standing patiently near the Arc de Triomphe.

"Wait up, Joey!" Phoebe chased after Joey.

"Hey, do you have something for us?" Joey asked the man in the military outfit.

"Oh yes I do! Good luck guys!" The man pulled out a yellow clue envelope from a large bag slung across his shoulders.

"What does it say? What does it say?" Phoebe bounced up and down and asked excitedly after Joey received the clue.

Joey tore open the envelope and removed its contents.

"Detour!" Joey read.

"Build it, or Eat it!" Phoebe glanced over Joey's shoulder.

"Build it – go to the designated restaurant and build a Champagne glass tower exactly like the one on display – and you must fill all the glasses with wine after you are done." Joey read further.

"Eat it – go to the designated fromagerie and eat an entire wheel of cheese." Phoebe read the other side of the card.

"What's designated?" Joey frowned.

"Oh, the addresses are written at the bottom here – let's go find another taxi Joey!" Phoebe was already off running.

"But which one are we doing?" Joey asked as he caught up to Phoebe.

"Oh, Eat it – since you can eat. Right?"

"Oh yeah, we are going to eat French cheese, baby!"

"This is the life, Joey!"

"Oh yeah!"

**M/|\C**

"So we are going to Build it for sure?" Chandler asked Monica after he tore open the envelope.

"Oh yeah, definitely – as much as I love French cheese – a wheel is way too much for two people!" Monica exclaimed.

"Let's go get a taxi then – there are at least two teams ahead of us!" Chandler remarked.

Chandler and Monica ran out to the front of the Arc de Triomphe, and Chandler flagged down a taxi with relative ease – much to the dismay of another team who was there earlier.

"I am really glad that you are doing this with me," Monica said to Chandler as soon as they got in the taxi and showed the driver the address.

"Me too!" Chandler grinned.

"Like I still don't know how you have this knack for taxi flagging! Didn't you see their faces?" Monica exclaimed.

"Yeah, that was Harry and Patrick – the brothers that were on our plane?" Chandler asked.

"Yup – so that means there is one other team ahead of us," Monica mentally counted.

"Oh we can do it," Chandler remarked.

"And Champagne tower making – I used to make them for fun!" Monica grinned.

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay – so we shouldn't have too much problems with it?"

"You just have to be very careful – I will show you," Monica replied.

"Oh look, we are here!"

Chandler paid the fare and they both got out the taxi before heading into the restaurant.

**R/|\R**

Ross and Rachel got out of the taxi and found themselves in front of a very fancy restaurant. Rachel gawked at it in awe, while Ross grabbed Rachel's arm and pulled her through the front door. The Maitre'd, dressed elegantly in a tuxedo, escorted them to the back of the restaurant – an enormous room, filled with huge, but squat tables. At the front of the room – an enormous Champagne tower was on display. Other teams were already there, frantically putting wineglasses in neat rows – including Monica and Chandler.

"Oh wow, this place is huge!" Rachel looked around her surroundings.

Ross pointed to the already built tower on display. "I guess we have to copy that, eh Rach?"

"Yeah," Rachel made her way to the display and started to count how many wineglasses were at the bottom.

"We need 144 wineglasses at the bottom – since it has twelve different layers," Ross mentally does the math.

"Okay, so why don't you pass me the glasses and I will build it!" Rachel walked over to a vacant table and Ross handed her the first glass.

The sound of glass hitting the wooden tables were the only noises that were present as all the teams tried to build their respective towers as fast as they possibly could.

As Ross passed each individual wineglass from the boxes of glasses provided to Rachel, he took a peek at the rest of the competition. There were four teams that had arrived before them – and another one had just arrived momentarily. Monica and Chandler had already finished their base and Chandler was stacking the second row – while Monica handed her husband all the glasses. The father-daughter team – was it Meredith and Kenneth that Ross and Rachel had met at the airport was even more ahead – while the other two teams were still building their bases.

"Rach, make sure all the wineglasses are touching, okay?" Ross gave Rachel a warning.

Rachel gave Ross an annoyed look. "I know, Ross, just keep passing me the glasses!"

"Like so that the gap between the glasses make a diamond shape," Ross continued.

"I don't need a lecture, Ross!"

"Rach, I am just saying," Ross defended himself.

"No, Ross, just let me do it in peace and quiet!"

"Alright, keep going." Ross had no wish to further irritate Rachel – who was already feeling pressured by the competition.

**P/|\J**

"This is the life!" Phoebe spat out sarcastically while trying to shove another spoonful of cheese down her throat.

"I think I've had more than enough cheese than I ever wanted, ever!" Joey groaned after forcing another spoonful into his mouth.

"This... was a very bad idea!" Phoebe sighed.

"I'd never thought I'd see the day where I don't want any more food!" Joey moaned.

"I'd never thought I'd see the day where Joey Tribbiani doesn't want any more food!" Phoebe temporarily grinned before force-feeding herself again.

"We've still got at least a third left, too!" Joey wished the chunk left would just vanish.

"We've been at this for an hour – already!" Phoebe looked at the clock in the room.

Joey surveyed the room. He noticed that the other three teams that were doing the task with them were all moaning and groaning too – and they were actually the closest to finishing the cheese.

"Looks like Ross and Rachel and Monica and Chandler aren't doing this one," Joey remarked, while scooping another helping of cheese.

"Aren't they lucky," Phoebe said a little sourly.

"I feel like my insides are stuck together!" Joey exclaimed, while tentatively putting the next spoonful of cheese inside his mouth.

"Same here – this is going to do wonders for my digestive system," Phoebe looked at the cheese dubiously.

"Why don't we look on the bright side – we are almost done – a quarter left!" Joey grinned.

"Okay, Joey – the things we eat for a million bucks!" Phoebe joked.

"To the things we eat for a million bucks!"

"Cheers!" Joey and Phoebe clinked spoons and downed the mouthful together.

**M/|\C**

Chandler was methodically building the fourth last tier of their tower when a scream and the sound of glass breaking almost caused him to drop the glass in his hand.

"Oh my god! Was that the sound of someone dying?" Chandler remarked to his wife.

"No, I think one of the teams ahead of us is now not ahead of us," Monica whispered while handing Chandler another glass.

"My god! Now my hands are having seizures!" Chandler looked at his treacherously trembling hands.

"You want me to take over, honey?" Monica gave him a concerned glance.

Chandler nodded and they switched places.

With efficient ease, Monica quickly finished the 4x4, the 3x3 and the 2x2 layers but the last glass posed a problem.

"Um... Chandler – I can't reach!" Monica, who was standing on one of the stools provided, struggled to place the last glass on top.

Chandler wordlessly took the last wineglass from his wife and Monica got off the stool. Chandler carefully – despite his shaking fingers – placed the last glass on top.

"It's beautiful," Monica clapped her hands together in glee.

Chandler looked at their finished tower. "Yeah, it is."

He then waved over one of the waiters who were supervising the task – and the waiter produced an enormous bottle of champagne and told them to fill up the glasses.

"Chandler, you have to do it." Monica placed her hands on his arms.

"I know, I hope I don't knock it over – like I did with the card towers that Joey and I were making last week!"

"You can do it," Monica smiled encouragingly at her husband.

Chandler looked at the glass tower and at the heavy champagne bottle that was already causing his arms some strain. Monica patted him on the back and with that, Chandler walked back towards the stool – feeling rather like a man being lead to the gallows.

"This will make or break the race," Chandler thought to himself.

Slowly, he got up the stool and with hands that shook way too much for his liking, he slowly and painfully tipped over the container. The warm golden-brown liquid flowed slowly from the bottle – filling up the topmost glass and spilling over to fill the ones at the bottom tiers. He fought desperately to keep his hands steady.

Monica held her breath as she watched Chandler slowly fill up the wineglasses. She had a mantra going on in her head, "Please don't tip over, please don't tip over," replaying itself in her head.

It was probably the slowest minute of her life.

**R/|\R**

Silence prevailed at Ross and Rachel's table. For the past – probably almost an hour – Rachel had been monotonously stacking glass after glass and she was finally working on the fifth last tier. Every now and then, Rachel still shot Ross some irritated looks, but Ross decided that she would cool off on her own.

Suddenly the sound of glass crashing to the ground startled both Ross and Rachel from their deep concentration and loud unrecognizable voices were heard.

"I told you to do it properly!" A loud voice could be heard by everyone.

"I did, it just fell over!" A feminine voice answered back.

"Sure, like it could just fall over!" The voice was loud, with a touch of sarcasm, "I should have done it myself."

"Fine, then you do it," the girl harrumphed.

"Then I will!" This was followed by unintelligible swearing.

"Oh my god, Ross, the pressure in this room is unbearable!" Rachel sighed and sat down on the stool.

"I know, Rach – some people are losing it," Ross stopped whatever he was doing to sit beside Rachel.

"Yeah, I am tired, hungry, and I just want to fall over and sleep for the next twenty-four hours," Rachel leaned against Ross.

"Me too," Ross lightly caressed Rachel's hair.

"I am sorry for getting snippy at you earlier – I know you meant well," Rachel sighed.

"That's alright, I probably shouldn't have done that."

"Look, Monica and Chandler are done!" Rachel pointed to a newly finished and filled champagne tower across the room.

"Yeah, they are. They work well together, despite their differences,"

"More like Monica does all the ordering and Chandler's happy to follow," Rachel observed.

"Yeah, my sister does kind of have Chandler tied around her pinky finger," Ross grinned.

Rachel laughed. "I think we can get back to business, now. I feel a lot better."

"Okay," Ross resumed handing Rachel the glasses, happy that he made Rachel laugh, despite the situation.

**P/|\J**

"I can't believe we ate all of that cheese!' Phoebe belched and quickly downed some apple cider that had been provided.

"You know, I can't believe I am saying this, but I never want to see cheese again!" Joey burped.

"Congratulations, here's your next clue," a man dressed as a waiter handed over their next clue.

Joey ripped the envelope apart.

"To reach your first pit-stop – travel to the Eiffel Tower and search the grounds," Phoebe read.

"The pit stop!" Joey exclaimed excitedly.

"Let's go – we could actually be first!" Phoebe grabbed all of their stuff and they bolted right out of the fromagerie to search for a taxi.

**M/|\C**

"It's the Eiffel Tower!" Monica exclaimed and pointed excitedly to the iconic landmark up ahead.

"I know!" Some of Monica's excitement had rubbed off on Chandler.

As soon as the taxi pulled to a stop, Chandler stuffed the money into the cabbie's hand and both of them ran out of the cab with all their stuff. They sprinted to the base of the tower and they crashed into Phoebe and Joey who were running from another direction.

"Monica, Chandler!" Joey exclaimed when he had recovered from the shock.

"Phoebe, Joey!" Monica returned back.

"No time, guys, the mat, the mat!" Phoebe yelled almost hysterically.

"Yeah, we are kind of in a race here!" Chandler looked around desperately for a mat.

Joey shook his head. "It's not over there."

"Holy crap! There are two teams here!" Another team's voice could be heard.

"It's there! It's there!" Monica yelled and pulled Chandler in the direction of the mat. Phoebe and Joey and the other team started sprinting to fight for first.

Several seconds of sprinting later, the three teams were neck in neck. Joey and Phoebe made a last desperate lunge when the mat came into view and fell flat on their faces in front of Phil and a beret wearing painter – who had an amused grin plastered on his face. Monica and Chandler reached the mat barely a microsecond after them, and third team almost fell right over in an attempt to stop their momentum.

"Welcome to Paris, France!" The painter exclaimed in a heavy French accent.

"Phoebe and Joey, Monica and Chandler and Harry and Patrick – you guys are first, second and third – respectively," Phil pronounced his verdict.

Phoebe and Joey shared matching grins and started dancing around the mat. Chandler and Monica share a small smile and Harry and Patrick gave each other a high five and a huge hug.

"Wasn't so easy, wasn't it?" Phil asked.

"All that cheese!" Joey placed his hand to his rather bloated stomach.

"All that pressure!" Chandler exclaimed.

"All that jet-lag!" Harry joined in.

"All those wine-glasses!" Patrick chimed in.

"All that French!" Phoebe grinned.

"All that worry!" Monica placed her arm around her husband.

The painter handed everyone a water bottle – and everyone took the time to drink and splash the water on themselves – it was a hot summer afternoon after all.

"We are staying on the Eiffel Tower, tonight guys – we wrangled permission from the city officials so make the most of your twelve hours!" Phil shared the itinerary.

"Oh, and Phoebe and Joey, for coming in first on the first leg – you guys win an all-expense paid vacation to Cancun, Mexico. So you guys can enjoy that after the race!"

Joey and Phoebe started dancing again.

**R/|\R**

"Ross, I can't believe we are almost at the pit stop!" Rachel and Ross were jogging at a leisurely pace towards the Eiffel Tower.

"Well, we definitely aren't first today, but we definitely aren't the last ones," Ross looked at the bright side.

"We can try for first tomorrow Ross – I am just happy we are here," Rachel grinned.

They both made it to the mat.

"Welcome to Paris, France!" The painter handed them each a bottle of water.

"Merci," Ross and Rachel thanked.

"Ross and Rachel – you guys are team number five, congratulations!"

Ross pulled Rachel into a hug.

"So you guys learned that it's not so easy being here?" Phil asked good-naturedly.

"Yeah, the pressure is intense, and everyone just wants to win!" Rachel replied.

"So we will just need to be a little more competitive – but it's also important stop and smell the roses." Ross grinned.

"Alright, guys, good luck on the next leg!"

**P/|\J**

"Are you sure you don't want to try this cheese, Joey? It's divine!" Rachel placed a slice of cheese in her mouth.

"Rach, I told you – no cheese!" Joey crossed his arms.

"But France and cheese are inseparable!" Rachel exclaimed.

Joey shook his head.

"Trust me Rach, after you've gone through what Phoebe and I have gone through today – you don't want cheese!"

"What are you talking about Joey, this cheese is so good!" Phoebe stole some cheese from Rachel.

"Phoebe! I thought you were on my side!" Joey looked upset.

"Well, I will take the side with cheese," Phoebe grinned.

"Yeah, Joey – you should definitely try it!" Ross also ganged up on Joey.

Joey looked horrified. He quickly changed the conversation.

"Where are Monica and Chandler?"

Ross shrugged. Phoebe grinned. Rachel smirked and almost fell over laughing.

"What's so funny?" Ross did not look amused.

"Let's say there's a reason why we are all sitting outside on a sheet on the observation deck." Phoebe waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Yeah. They just couldn't resist the opportunity to do it on top of the world's supposedly most romantic icon,' Rachel supplied.

"Stop! Stop!" Ross waved his hands in the air after choking on his cheese.

"So what does that mean Ross – there's no dessert tonight?" Rachel looked mischievously at Ross.

Ross blushed. "No, I didn't say that!"

"Oh, just go get a room guys, we are trying to eat here!" Phoebe looked sternly at the couple.

"Ugh, cheese..." Joey looked distastefully at the cheese.


	3. We Could Make Joey and Phoebe Land!

_A/N: Here's the second leg. My apologies for the horrible language translations. I hope you like this leg – and I think I can promise a more exciting next leg – for next week. I may not be able to update next Sunday due to some personal things but I will get it up as soon as possible maybe earlier, maybe later. _

_Thanks for all your reviews! I appreciate each and every one of them! _

_So please review! Pretty please :)  
><em>

_This week's episode is brought to you by Eurostar, Mapquest and sleep-deprived plot bunnies. Let's go!_

* * *

><p><strong>The Amazing Race: Friends Edition (2<strong>**nd**** Leg) – "We could make Joey-and-Phoebe land!" - Joey**

**M/|\C**

"So, that definitely put a new meaning to the phrase, _been there and done that_," Chandler grinned jokingly at his wife.

Monica merely smiled at her husband's quip – sometimes the jokes drove her insane, but she wouldn't trade them for anything else. But she definitely understood the meaning behind "done that" and couldn't help grinning.

Their twelve hours of rest were almost practically over, and now the couple was standing on the highest observation platform, holding hands, overlooking a vast majority of the city of lights. The sky was dark still, but subtle slivers of blue hinted at the approach of dawn. Colourful strings of lights adorned the Eiffel Tower, enhancing the already enchanting setting.

"Can't believe our twelve hours are up," Monica sighed, enjoying the night breeze that playfully blew from the east – a relief from the sweltering, humid heat of the previous afternoon.

"Yeah, but we definitely made the best of them," Chandler removed his hand from Monica's grasp and placed it around her waist, gently pulling her towards him. Monica took the opportunity to rest her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah," Monica agreed.

"You aren't upset for coming in second, are you?" Chandler asked his wife, a little worriedly.

Monica shook her head, "It makes us less of a target later on, when things like u-turns start showing up."

"Ah, the strategy!" Chandler nodded knowingly. He then turned to look at his watch, and frowned. "We have to go in like five minutes, Mon."

"I wish this night can last forever. It's beautiful." Monica looked around the tower with a wistful expression on her face.

"Me too, tell you what – after this mad dash around the world thing, why don't we go on a proper vacation – and come back up here," Chandler tried to remove the wistful expression from Monica's face.

"You would do that for me?" Monica looked at her husband adoringly.

"Yeah, most - ," Chandler began to speak. But before anything else could come out his mouth, Monica had kissed him. After the kiss, Chandler's eyes lingered on his wife affectionately for a second before looking down to consult his watch again.

"We have to go down now – we don't want to be late!"

Reluctantly, both Monica and Chandler picked up their bags and headed off towards the elevators that would bring them back down to the ground.

**P/|\J ~ M/|\C**

"Where are Monica and Chandler? We are going to leave in like a minute!" Joey looked pointedly at his watch.

"They should be here soon, Joey – we saw them like an hour ago!" Phoebe replied.

"Well, hopefully they forgot!" Patrick grinned at his brother.

His brother shook his head at him. "Now, now, Patty, you know we only have best wishes towards our fellow teams, right."

Patrick slugged him on the shoulder. "At least I am truthful!"

"You are just a bad liar," Harry teased.

"Oh look, here they are!" Phoebe exclaimed, pointing to two shadows emerging from the base of the Iron Lady.

"And not a second too soon, we can leave in like –" Joey started to say.

"Now!" Chandler dashed to the red, yellow and black mat and opened the clue-box that had been placed there sometime during the past twelve hours. Joey and Harry quickly followed suit. Three distinct rips were heard as the three men tore open their clue envelopes. Chandler removed the contents, and proceeded to read.

"Congratulations on your first leg. But don't celebrate too soon, for you are in for the long haul. Your next destination will be the city of Günzburg, Germany. First travel to the Gard du Nord train station in Paris, and purchase tickets that will take you to Aachen, Germany as well as the train to the final destination – the Legoland stop at Günzburg." Chandler read breathlessly.

"Your next clue will be waiting for you at the platform." Joey took over, and Chandler paused to take a breath.

"You've been given 450 dollars for this leg of the race. A reminder that train tickets must be purchased with cash." Harry finished.

Monica and Chandler shared a look, before suddenly dashing off towards the streets in search of a taxi. Joey and Phoebe chased after them, with Patrick and Harry lagging behind. Chandler was able to find and hail a taxi within the five minutes, leaving the other two teams without taxis.

"Damn, Chandler always has the best taxi-luck," Joey sighed.

Phoebe nodded solemnly. "He has mastered the art of taxi-summoning."

"Yeah, like yesterday, we spent at least fifteen minutes trying to flag down a taxi to go to the detour, and Chandler was able to do it in less than one-third of the time it took us to find one." Patrick complained.

"He made it look so easy!" Harry groaned.

"Oh look, here's our taxi, see you later!" Joey grinned when Phoebe managed to wave down a taxi by jumping up and down and waving her hands wildly while calling out "Taxi! Taxi!".

**M/|\C**

"So this is the Gard du Nord train station – are you sure this is it? It looks too elegant to be one!" Chandler exclaimed to Monica while they were fetching their things from the back of their taxi-cab.

"Yeah, pretty impressive architecture!" Monica admired the stone and glass building.

Chandler slammed the trunk down and the two of them headed towards the doors. Inside, tall thin pillars supported the ceiling and mini-shops dot the floor. The rays of the sun, beginning to rise, penetrate through the glass on the ceilings and Monica and Chandler look around for a ticket booth. A few moments of searching, Chandler approached a lady typing rapidly at a computer behind a ticket counter.

"Excuse me, madam, but would you happen to sell tickets to trains that go to Aachen, Germany?"

"Non, monsieur, you need to go to the Eurostar ticket counters – over there." She pointed right.

"Merci," Chandler grabbed Monica's hand and they dashed frantically to the location that the lady had previously indicated.

"Excuse me, monsieur; do you sell tickets that go to Aachen, Germany?"

The blonde haired man sitting behind the counter nodded. "Yes we do, what time?"

"The one with the earliest arrival time," Chandler answered.

The man looked at his computer screen. "Earliest arrival time is at 10:30, the train leaves at 7:08."

"Is there still space on that train?" Monica interjected.

"Probably not, madam, but I can try." This was followed by a flurry of virtuosic typing and an exclamation of triumph. "You are in luck, seven people have managed to cancel their spots on that particular train. I can get you a pair of tickets."

"Please get those tickets!" Monica and Chandler exclaimed at the same time.

"One moment please." More typing followed, followed by Chandler handing the man cash and the freshly printed tickets were given over to Chandler.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" the man looked inquisitively at the couple.

Chandler replied, "Yes, do you sell tickets to Günzburg, Germany – the Legoland station?"

"Ah, I can help you with that, let's see. So you arrive at Aachen at 10:30, the next train to Günzburg that leaves from the Central station in Aachen is 11:11. I will get you the tickets too."

The transaction completed, Monica and Chandler walked off in search of breakfast. After all, it was only 6:30.

**R/|\R**

"Here we are! The second leg!" Rachel remarked quite happily to Ross as they walked towards the mat.

Ross grinned. "I wonder where we are going, this time!"

"Me too. Just get the envelope, Ross; we are already a minute late." Rachel looked pointedly at her watch.

"Kay!" Ross walked over to the clue-box and pulled out a yellow and black envelope.

"Ooh! Germany! Heard they had great sausages!" Rachel smiled.

"Frankfurters, Rach." Ross amended.

Rachel shook her head. "Sausages!"

"Let's go look for a cab!" Ross decided to switch to a more productive topic.

Once in the cab, the couple took their last glimpses around Paris.

"Y'know, it's funny how I said that we would go to Paris before this trip – and I was right!" Rachel reflected.

"Just luck, Rach. You never mentioned anything about Germany, did you?"

"Nope, but hey, at least one of my premonitions is right!"

"You are starting to sound like Phoebe." Ross shook his head.

"Non-believer!" Rachel retorted.

There was a bit of traffic during their trip to the train station as the work-day for Parisians had started to begin. But many minutes later, they found themselves in the train station at the ticket booth.

"Do you know when the earliest arrival time is to Aachen, Germany?" Ross asked a prettily dressed lady at the counter.

"Monsieur, the earliest time is 10:30, but the last tickets were just sold to a pair of American men. I am very sorry," she replied with a slight French accent.

Ross and Rachel shared dejected looks. They both knew that a pair of American men meant another team had gotten the tickets before they did.

"The next train however, leaves at 9:15, and arrives at Aachen Central station at 12:24. And there are still a few seats left on this one."

"We will take that then," Rachel swallowed up her disappointment.

"And do you sell tickets to Günzburg, Germany – Legoland station?" Ross inquired.

"Yes. The earliest train that you can catch will be the one at 13:10. I can get you all the tickets now."

"Please do," Rachel replied.

Moments later, Ross and Rachel had paid for all their tickets and headed off towards the platforms – both thinking about the long slog ahead.

**P/|\J ~ M/|\C**

Phoebe and Joey were wondering around the bakeries – in search of a delectable breakfast when they quite literally bumped into Monica and Chandler while making a turn.

"Guys! We've got to stop meeting like this!" Phoebe exclaimed after regaining her balance after walking right into Chandler.

"Yeah! It leaves bruises!" Joey winced.

"Sorry guys, it's like we deliberately decided to turn and crash into you," Chandler remarked sarcastically.

"Well, stop it!" Joey exclaimed.

"So you guys got breakfast?" Monica attempted to change the topic.

"Nope, still looking," Phoebe replied.

"How about that little shop right there?" Monica pointed to a store in the corner.

"Why not?" Phoebe shrugged and all four of them headed towards the bakery.

When they left the shop, they were carrying a milk carton, some fresh baguettes, some sandwiches for Joey, croissants and several other delicacies.

"Hey, let's camp out at Platform seven!" Phoebe suggested eagerly.

"Yeah, we've got a tarp!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Picnic!" Joey yelled cheerfully.

"Joey, picnics are normally outdoors," Chandler reminded.

"So, this is out enough for me, man!" Joey grinned.

"Oh let him have his picnic!" Phoebe started reading signs to determine where Platform seven was.

"So what train are you guys on?" Chandler asked.

"We will tell you, if you tell us!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Well, I asked first, so spill!" Chandler grinned while they were walking towards Platform seven.

"Our train is going to be on Platform seven," Phoebe divulged a bit of information.

"Well, most of the trains leaving for Germany are either on Platform seven or eight," Chandler retorted.

"Well, our train is also going to be at that platform," Monica shared.

The two teams looked at each other and at the departure board that was several metres away. It read Aachen Central: 7:08, Platform 7, and Aachen Central: 9:15, Platform 8 – while being surrounded by other departure information to other German places.

"I guess it's safe to assume that we are on the same train," Chandler put two and two together.

Phoebe nodded.

"Do you think Harry and Patrick got tickets?" Joey asked when they were descending the stairs to Platform 7.

"Speak of the devil, here they are!" Phoebe exclaimed, pointing to the black-haired twins standing casually by a thick pillar in the middle of platforms seven and eight.

**M/|\C ~ P/|\J**

"Well, well, look at that, it's the lot of us again!" Harry grinned at the approaching two teams.

"Yup, one big happy family," Patrick waved.

"Hey guys, waiting for the 7:08 train?" Phoebe walked up to them.

Patrick nodded. "Got the last tickets, baby!"

"Our stroke of luck for today!" Harry beamed.

While they were talking, Monica and Chandler had removed their tarp from their bag and spread it out on the floor. Joey sat down and started to devour his sandwiches while Monica passed around the carton of milk with straws for all of them. The bread and pastries had all been distributed and the little picnic in the middle of the train platform commenced.

"Since we are stuck together for so long – eight hours, let's do a little icebreaker!" Harry exclaimed.

"Ooh! What? I love icebreakers!" Phoebe replied enthusiastically.

Harry grinned. "So we go around a in a circle and we say one thing about ourselves, it can be anything!"

"Even ridiculously silly," Patrick supplied with a twinkle in his eye.

"Let me go first!" Harry called out.

Patrick nodded approvingly at his brother. Everyone else turned their heads to face him.

"Well, I am Harry, as you all know, and I research neurons for a living," Harry started off.

"Neur-what?" Joey scratched his head in confusion.

"Oh, Joey, they are the cells in your nervous system!" Phoebe whispered.

"My nervous system?"

"You know the cells that allow you to touch, smell, taste – and think! But you don't do much of that, do you?" Chandler quipped.

"Hey, I have you know that I do think!" Joey looked offended.

Phoebe patted Joey's back, soothingly.

"Okay, my turn," Phoebe spoke out, "I am Phoebe, and I play the guitar!'

"Cool!" Patrick grinned.

"I love the guitar!" Harry looked enthusiastically at Phoebe.

"What's your best song?" Patrick inquired.

Phoebe smiled. "A little number that I call Smelly Cat!"

"Cool! How does it go?" Harry asked curiously.

"Guys! It's my turn!" Monica butted in before Phoebe could launch into a detailed account of "Smelly Cat", "I am Monica and I am a chef!"

"Remind me to sample of your cooking, Monica," Harry replied.

Patrick nodded. "I love food!"

"Me too!" Joey replied back.

"Awesome!" Joey and Patrick high-fived.

"I am Patrick, and I work as an accountant – boring stuff, I know." He sighed.

"Don't worry, I am Chandler – and I hate my job!" Chandler and Patrick looked at each other with mutual understanding.

"I guess that leaves me, I am Joey and I am an actor, baby!" Joey enthused.

Patrick looked at Joey suspiciously. "Now I know why you look so familiar!"

"Oh dear god! You are Dr. Drake Ramoray from DOOL!" Harry shouted out.

"Yell a little louder, I don't think the people at the highest floor could quite hear you," Chandler replied sarcastically.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah. I am!" Joey grinned – evidently happy that he had been recognized for his acting.

"One of my best friends has the hugest crush on you!" Harry remarked excitedly.

Joey smiled. "Is she hot?"

"Joey!" Phoebe reprimanded.

"Sorry, Phoebs," Joey didn't look apologetic at all.

Patrick laughed, "Oh, we should set you two up – don't worry, she's hot!"

"After the race, of course," Harry added.

"Hey look, is that our train?" Monica exclaimed, pointing to a sleek train pulling into Platform Seven.

Chandler nodded. "Yup, that's our speeding bullet to Germany!"

"Alright, Germany, baby – here we come!" Joey began to pick up his bag just as the train came to a smooth halt in front of all the expectant passengers.

**R/|\R**

"Look, there's Monica, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and the twins getting on that train," Rachel pointed to the aforementioned people scrambling to get on the train from the floor above, near the escalators.

Ross sighed. "So the top three teams from yesterday get the early train. So we have some major catching up to do when we get our butts to Germany."

"Shame that our train doesn't leave until nine-ish. It sucks, waiting here." Rachel crossed her arms.

Ross agreed. "Yeah, hey, why don't we go figure out who is on our train, and size up the competition."

"Alright, Ross, anything to help take my mind off them."

Ross and Rachel headed downstairs to Platforms Seven and Eight, and they ran into a bunch of teams on Platform eight.

"Bummer, so three teams got the early train," A whiny high-pitched feminine voice was heard. Rachel cringed.

"Yeah. It's like so not fair." A curly haired blonde girl replied back.

"Yeah, Sarah. Going to have to start playing dirty."

"I have a very bad feeling about that team," Rachel was picking up bad vibes from the two girls standing beside one of the pillars.

"Yeah," But it wasn't Ross that spoke. A rather handsome, middle-aged man replied to Rachel's comment.

"They've been doing nothing but complain, complain and bitch about everything, ever since the first leg," Another man spoke – presumed to be the other guy's partner.

"Oh yeah, annoys the hell out of everyone in the middle of the pack. Just can't believe that they are on our train." The first man spoke again. A faint Australian accent was perceptible.

"By the way, the name's Roger."

"And I am Simon."

"I am Ross, and this is my girlfriend, Rachel."

"Nice to meet you guys! Thank god, for civilized people." Simon replied.

Rachel grinned at the two guys, noticing that they were actually holding hands. "Are you two, you know – together?"

"Oh yeah. Five years now." Roger smiled happily.

Simon nodded. "We are actually planning our wedding. If we win the million – we are so going to throw a smashing party right after our nuptials."

"Cool." Rachel squealed.

"Sucks that we still have two hours to kill for our train," Roger muttered.

"Yeah it does," Ross sighed.

"We might as well sit somewhere, Ross – get out the sheet!"

**M/|\C ~ P/|\J**

Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and Monica are sitting around a table, all of them looking out the window, as the landscape whizzed by them. Phoebe and Joey had managed to get the couple originally sitting in their seats to trade with them.

"I wonder what we are doing when we get to Germany," Monica mused to no one in particular.

Chandler turned away from the window to his wife. "We will see when we get there."

Phoebe grinned. "You don't think it has something to do with Lego, don't you?"

Joey was still finishing off some of the baked goods that they had gotten earlier. "Oh cool! We are going to Legoland!" He sprayed crumbs everywhere.

"Joey! You made a mess!" Monica exclaimed – her neurosis had been aroused.

"Sorry, Monica," Joey replied a little sheepishly. Monica immediately retrieved a napkin and a plastic bag from somewhere and immediately began to clean up the scattering of bread crumbs.

Chandler looked at his train tickets again. "Well, we aren't getting there until 16:40."

Joey counted on his fingers. "Damn, we still have almost eight hours of train-riding to do!"

"I know!" Monica replied.

"Do you think that Legoland will be closed by that time? I don't want to lose our lead!" Phoebe asked.

"I dunno, Phoebs, maybe we should give them a call with our non-existent cell-phones!" Chandler replied flippantly.

"Oh I have a brochure!" Joey immediately began looking through his pockets.

"Where d'ya get that?" Phoebe inquired.

"Oh, it was colourful, and don't you like that Lego-dude's smile!" Joey grinned once he removed a brightly coloured and very battered looking piece of paper in his hand.

"Sure, the reason why people pick up brochures these days is because it's colourful and depicts nice plastic smiles," Chandler smirked.

Joey shot Chandler a dirty look. "Carry on like that and I won't tell you when it's closing today!"

"Alright! I will behave!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Mm... What day is it today?" Phoebe flipped through the pages.

"The nineteenth, Phoebs," Monica replied.

"Cool, doesn't close until 22:00 today!" Phoebe placed her finger on the closing times.

"Oh good!" Joey replied happily.

**R/|\R**

"So, we are finally on the train," Rachel remarked as the couple looked around for their seats.

"About time too! There are at least five teams including us on here," Ross replied.

"We have some major catching up to do when we get to Germany," Rachel sighed.

"Not looking forward to it, that's for sure – some of those people are like sharks!" Ross groaned.

"Oh, here are our seats, Ross." Rachel swung her bag up in the overhead compartment above their seats.

"Good job, Rach," Ross did the same.

Rachel nodded and they both sat down comfortably in their seats. A few moments later, they felt the train start to move. It wasn't long before the smooth rocking of the train had made them both fall asleep.

**P/|\J ~ M/|\C**

Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and Monica waited impatiently by the door as the train decelerated as it entered the platform at Aachen Central station. The train gradually came to a stop and a few long moments later, the doors finally were unlocked and the four of them bolted right out of the train in search of their connecting train. The train to Aachen had arrived late by twenty minutes and they were a little worried that they would miss the next train. Phoebe found the departure display.

"Looks like we are looking for Platform five," she remarked.

"We are on Platform ten," Joey looked at the ornate tens that adorned the platform.

"I am going to ask someone, be right back," Phoebe ran off towards a man clad in a florescent green safety vest.

"Entschuldigung, wo ist plattformunabän gig fünf? _(Excuse me, where is platform five?)_

Joey, Chandler and Monica's mouths all fell open in surprise.

The man flashed Phoebe a grin, and replied, "Gerade so, und fahren Sie nach links, bis Sie die Nummer fünf zu sehen." _(Go straight that way and turn left until you see the number five.)_

"Vielen Dank, Herr Abeiter! Come on! That expression does not suit you guys, at all!" _(Thank you, Mr. Worker!) _Phoebe immediately ran off.

The other three chased her till the end of the tracks for Platform ten, and followed her left where they could see many different platforms on either side of the pathway.

"Five! Dead ahead!" Joey exclaimed when he caught a glimpse of the number five.

"Mm... the train is here!" Chandler yelled.

The four of them dashed to Platform five and hastily entered the train – as politely as they could, of course.

**M/|\C ~ P/|\J**

Chandler struggled to sleep, but couldn't because of Joey and Phoebe's rather interminable and intensive list of games to play while travelling. His wife, however, had fallen asleep on his shoulder shortly after the train had departed, and had remained in that blissful state for the past two hours. "Three more hours," he reflected glumly, staring out at the window.

"My name is Perry, my wife is named Phoebe and I sell pumpkins and potatoes," Joey said with childish grin.

"My name is Queenie, my husband's name is Quinn and I make quilts and quips," Phoebe replied without missing a beat.

"My name is –" Joey began to say.

"Oh shut up, shut up! – I am getting a headache!" Chandler groaned.

"But we were almost done!" Joey pouted.

"Like only eight more letters to go, that is _almost done_," Chandler replied, rather irritated.

"Oh you heard the man, we are almost done, anyways," Phoebe grinned.

"And in that case, my name is Ricky, my wife's name is Rain, and I race racehorses and raccoons," Joey smirked – rather enjoying the repertoire of facial expressions on Chandler's face.

"And my name is Sandy, the husband is Stanley, and I sell shellfish and sickles." Phoebe grinned at Chandler.

"My name is –" Joey started again.

"Oh for the love of god! Please shut up!" Chandler just couldn't take it anymore.

"Alright, you don't need to be so mean about it!" Joey frowned.

"We need a quieter game, Joey – any suggestions?"

"Hey, how about that clapping game you showed me earlier?" Joey grinned.

Chandler groaned in misery. Only two hours and forty-five minutes left.

**R/|\R**

"Wow, this train is a lot rockier than the other one!" Rachel exclaimed to Ross when they felt a series of jerks.

"Yeah, the other one was the high-speed train, this is a normal-speed train," Ross explained.

"I can't believe I am in Germany!" Rachel exclaimed.

"I know," Ross placed his arm around Rachel.

"I am still pretty tired, Ross," Rachel sighed – despite all the sleeping they had done on the previous train, Rachel was still feeling the effects of jet-lag.

"Yeah, it does take some time to get used to, especially with all the running around that we've been doing," Ross agreed.

"Do you have any idea what we are doing when we get off this train?" Rachel looked inquiringly at Ross while trying to stifle a yawn.

"Nope, cept the clue said that the next marker is on the platform somewhere," Ross shook his head.

"Maybe it has something to do with Lego, since we are going to Legoland station," Rachel observed.

"Really, that sounds kind of juvenile," Ross huffed.

"Hey, we can't always be adults you know! Embrace your inner fun side!" Rachel grinned mischievously at Ross.

"Oh, I know what we can do that's fun!" Ross smirked.

"Really, Dr. Geller – fun?" Rachel smiled.

"Yeah really," Ross nodded.

A few moments later, Ross and Rachel each have a piece of graph paper in front of them. They had written out a co-ordinate system on the grids and drawn ships of various sizes on their papers.

"Fire at A7!" Rachel exclaimed with glee.

"Damn it! You sunk my ship!" Ross pouted and made drowning noises.

Rachel stuck out her tongue at him. "I can't believe you brought graph paper! Out of all the things you could have brought!"

"Well, how about C7," Ross ignored the jibe.

"Sorry Ross, you just hit water – I mean paper! Now how about E10?" Rachel grinned.

"No!" Ross almost shrieked, "No, my ship!"

"And you were calling other things juvenile, earlier," Rachel smirked.

"Oh shut up, Rach – F5!" Ross tried again.

"And, you hit – nothing! Absolutely nothing at all! How about E9?" Rachel loved pummelling Ross. It was one of the best pleasures of life.

"No! My tiny ship is gone!"

Rachel did a wiggly victory dance with her butt and torso on her seat.

"It isn't over yet, Rachel!" Ross fumed.

"Oh, we will see," Rachel smiled sweetly at her boyfriend.

**P/|\J ~ M/|\C**

The train had stopped at Legoland – station and as soon as it did – six blurs jumped out from the train and searched around the platform for the next route marker. Monica eyed the yellow and red flags that marked the box first and she grabbed her husband. Phoebe and Joey almost ran into the box in their excitement and the twins trailed after them – since their seats were at the far end of the train.

Monica ripped open the next clue.

"Welcome to Günzburg, Germany. Your next task is to locate the shuttle-bus that will take you to Legoland Deutschland which is located at the bus terminal connected to the train station. Your next route marker will be waiting for you at the front gates. Good luck!"

The three teams scrambled their way away from the platform and began looking furtively for any signs of a bus terminal. Phoebe found the bus terminal sign, and everyone ran after her – weaving around baffled tourists and Germans.

They finally came to a halt in front of a sign that read Shuttlebus – Legoland.

"Well, at least the train was early this time," Patrick broke the silence.

Chandler nodded. "We have an extra ten minutes. It's 4:11 – right now!"

"Oh look, the bus!" Joey exclaimed when the bus arrived.

"Yes, it's a bus, Joey," Chandler remarked.

"Well don't just stand there guys, let's get on!" Monica excitedly hopped on the bus.

The rest of the teams followed suit and sat themselves at the front of the bus. Silence reigned for the duration of the trip as everyone mentally prepared themselves for whatever was coming up next. Monica placed a comforting hand on Chandler's arm. The tension between everyone was quite strong – as everyone wanted to win this leg.

Many uncomfortable minutes later, the bus stopped in front of the colourful gates of Legoland and everyone got off. The clue-box stood at the gate, and everyone dashed off towards the box.

"Got it!" Joey exclaimed when he finally retrieved another clue envelope.

Monica tore open the envelope first.

"Detour!" She called out.

"Mountain or Ocean," Joey read from his slip of paper.

"Mountain – climb up a Lego mountain to receive your next clue," Phoebe continued.

"Ocean, find ten yellow Lego blocks in an ocean of blocks for your next clue," The twins read together.

"Let's climb!" Monica dragged Chandler and they ran off in the direction indicated by a red sign in the shape of arrow with the word "Mountain" printed on it.

"Phoebs, I am kinda too tired to climb – let's do Ocean," Joey suggested.

"Okay! I didn't want to climb, anyways," Phoebe agreed, and the two of them headed off towards the other direction – following a blue sign that said "Ocean".

Patrick and Harry merely shrugged and chased after Phoebe and Joey. They might as well do something that wasn't physical draining.

**M/|\C**

"Holy mother of mercy! We have to climb that!" Chandler gawked at an almost 90 degree inclined slope made completely out of thousands of large, colourful Lego blocks.

"Yeah, we have harnesses," Monica replied as two guys helped her into her harness.

"I don't think I can do that, Mon," Chandler looked at the face of the "mountain" up and down.

"Well, we are going to have to try. Come on Chandler, don't be a chicken." she grinned.

"Alright, you guys are set," one of the young sandy-haired guys gave them the thumbs up.

Monica started off first, her feet easily finding the small footholds and her hands grabbing onto overhanging Lego pieces. Chandler took a deep breath before climbing up after her. His eyes darted around the blocks – looking for secure places to anchor his feet.

"No pressure, Chandler – it's just us right now," Monica called out from above.

"No pressure? What happened to Monica?" Chandler quipped, while stumbling on a green brick, two metres off the ground.

"I am serious!" Monica called out.

Chandler tentatively placed his foot on the next blue brick. He marvelled that Monica was already at least two three metres above him already. It wasn't long before he was panting and sweat had started to seep onto his shirt.

"Oh my god, this is going to be my downfall," Chandler thought to himself.

**P/|\J**

"You must be kidding me!" Joey exclaimed when he and Phoebe stood above an Olympic swimming pool sized pit filled with blue blocks of Lego.

"Nope, not kidding," one of the attendants grinned in amusement.

"Ten tiny yellow bricks?" Phoebe looked dubiously at the ocean of blue, "I don't see any yellow."

"Well let's get going then," Joey took off his shoes and jumped into the pit, "Ow!"

"Joey, this isn't water, you know!" Phoebe carefully lowered herself into the pit of blue Legos.

"Oh my god, you must be shitting me!" Harry's voice could be heard from above.

"This is huge!" His brother's voice punctuated the air.

Joey and Phoebe systematically began to look through the blue blocks. All sorts of blocks were there, long thin plates, blue blocks of various sizes, triangular blocks, smooth blocks, all the same shade of ocean blue. No hint of yellow, whatsoever.

Patrick and Harry soon joined the pair, and they each carefully sifted through the pieces – hoping for any hint of yellow to show up.

"Blue block, blue block, another blue block, more blue," Joey's voice droned on and on.

Phoebe had carefully cleared out a large space, so that she wasn't leaning on the rather pointy blocks, and was carefully searching for anything that wasn't blue. Well, until Harry accidentally knocked a whole chunk of blue blocks into Phoebe's space – effectively burying her.

"Avalanche!" Phoebe cried out.

"I will save you!" Joey cried heroically and lunged towards where Phoebe vanished – showering more blue blocks into the pocket.

"Joey, stop moving! It's raining Lego blocks down here!" Phoebe groaned, as another cascade of blue bricks showered over her.

"Okay, sorry Phoebs," Joey stopped.

Phoebe emerged from the shower of bricks with a triumphant look.

"Look, yellow!" she yelled – holding a very tiny yellow block.

"Brilliant Phoebs, only nine more to go!" Joey exclaimed back.

**M/|\C**

"Are we there, yet?" Chandler complained. Chandler was half-way up the wall and he was already feeling the strain of muscles long unused.

"Almost, keep going, honey!" Monica's cheery voice drifted down.

"The foot goes there," Chandler muttered to himself as he placed his left foot on a yellow brick, "The hand goes there," he reached out for a red block sticking out just above his head. "The right foot goes to the white block over here," he pulled himself up so his foot could reach the aforementioned white block despite protesting muscles.

"And don't look down," Chandler reminded himself. He knew that he was going to freak if he even dared to take a peek downward. "And never, ever go rock-climbing – ever. Especially the version with Lego."

Monica grasped the green block above her and swung herself athletically up to a large overhanging red block. She was almost there. Victory was within her grasp. She grasped the next yellow block and with a final heave, found herself at the top of the mountain.

"Congratulations," A man dressed in a Lego-land t-shirt greeted Monica at the top of the mountain.

"Thank you," Monica breathed out. She was starting to feel the fatigue from climbing.

"Well, until your partner gets up here, you don't get your next clue," the man replied apologetically.

"I know," she nodded. She turned around towards her still-climbing husband. "Chandler! I am at the top, now!"

"I know! I am coming!" Chandler tried to pick up the pace. Many minutes later, at least fifteen of them – Chandler finally reached the top, and Monica pulled him over.

"I am never, ever, ever – doing that again!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Aw... honey – it wasn't that bad!" Monica patted him on the back.

"Good job, here's your next clue!"

Monica reached for the clue, and tore it open.

"Make your way to Hamburg, Germany – by car. Cars are waiting for you at the parking lot – follow the red and yellow markers. Once you get to Hamburg – you will find your next clue waiting for you at the city hall."

"Um... Mon, how are we going to get off this mountain?" Chandler looked suspiciously over the edge.

"Oh, that's easy, just rappel down – the harness system will bring you down slowly," the man who handed them the clue grinned.

"Jump off the mountain?" Chandler exclaimed rather dubiously.

"Oh come on," Monica immediately stepped off the edge and descended smoothly down to the ground.

"If I die, it's all your fault!" Chandler shouted down at Monica, who was looking at him exasperatedly at the bottom.

"Come on! We've got to go to Hamburg!" Monica exclaimed a little impatiently.

Chandler mumbled something under his breath before finally taking the plunge.

**R/|\R**

"See, we are at Legoland, Ross!" Rachel had an I-told-you-so look on her face. She and Ross were standing at the front entrance of Legoland, and Ross was reading the next clue. But chaos surrounded them as other teams practically fought their way to the clue-box.

"I say we climb – it sounds faster," Ross thought for a moment.

"Yeah, it does sound faster. Finding things take forever," Rachel nodded her agreement.

"Kay let's go."

Ross and Rachel jogged lightly in the direction that the red sign pointed to, alongside with Simon and Roger, and the father-daughter team – Meredith and Kenneth. Behind them, a bickering couple walked after them. Rachel curiously turned her head to see a young t-shirt wearing man and an equally young woman biting each other's heads off.

"Ignore them, they fight over everything," Simon caught Rachel taking glances at the couple behind them.

"Really?" Rachel inquired.

"Yeah, Natasha and Trevor – I don't think their relationship is going to last," Roger observed.

"I am surprised that they weren't last on the first leg, they were the couple who blew up at the Build it detour," Kenneth joined the conversation.

Rachel and Ross nodded knowingly; remembering the stress of the first detour.

"Oh wow, do we have to climb that thing!" Meredith exclaimed as they approached the mountain.

"See, I told you we should have done Ocean – there's no way we can do that!" Natasha replied snappily to her boyfriend.

"See, if you would just develop a more positive attitude, things will be easier," Trevor glared.

"You should let me make the decisions, for once," Natasha shot him an equally dirty look.

Ross pulled Rachel away from the growing argument and the people wearing Legoland t-shirts helped them into their respective harnesses.

"Wow, have you ever climbed before, Ross?" Rachel asked.

"Nope, I am terrified of heights!" Ross looked at the impending mountain with trepidation.

"Then why did you want to do this?"

"Because it's a lot faster than searching," Ross replied.

"Okay, just don't look down and remember that the harness is there, honey. I will go first," Rachel began to grab onto a white block and started pulling herself up the bumpy face.

Ross watched Rachel and the other teams start to climb the mountain. He took a deep breath – knowing that whether he liked it or not – he was climbing up that thing. Slowly, he reached for a blue block that was just above his head and placed his foot in the first available gap in the wall.

Fear in the form of tension gripped his stomach as Ross slowly moved his foot to the next gap. He was shaking like crazy – but willed himself to take deep breaths. "Come on Ross, you aren't going to die!" he exclaimed in his head, but his body refused to listen.

"Are you okay, honey?" Rachel called out from above.

"Barely," Ross groaned. He was almost last. The bickering couple had just got their harnesses strapped on and Simon was having just as much trouble as he was having. Taking another breath, he carefully reached for another yellow block – while trying to block out mental images of him plummeting to his death. "Death? I am barely a few metres off the ground. Calm down, man!" he whispered to himself. "Oh my god, I am talking to myself – that's it, I am crazy!" Ross muttered rather darkly.

He envied the graceful ease that Rachel was able to clamber up the blocks with. It's going to be a long way up, he reflected quite glumly.

**P/|\J**

"Phoebs! How many yellow blocks do we have?" Joey called out to Phoebe who was digging through the sea of blue in the middle of the pit.

"Nine! One more, Joey!" Phoebe yelled back.

"You know, if we weren't racing, this place would be like heaven," Joey replied back.

"Yeah! We could be building worlds!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"I know! We could make Joey-and-Phoebe land!" Joey suggested with much gusto.

"The blue-version!" Phoebe mused further along the path of thought.

"Yeah, baby!" Joey cried out.

"How many blocks do you guys have?" Phoebe yelled at the twins who were searching in the far corner of the pit.

"Eight! Two more! You know, I think the climbing detour would have been much faster, bro," Harry turned to his brother.

"Yeah, I think so too, but it's way too late to change our minds now," Patrick replied, taking another swipe at all the blue blocks in his vicinity.

"Pity," Harry bent down to look for yellow blocks.

"Oh look, I found two!" Patrick exclaimed.

"We are done! Hurray!" The twins scrambled out of the pit and proceeded to present their ten yellow blocks to one of the supervisors.

"Oh damn it! Where's that last yellow block!" Phoebe cursed.

"Oh Phoebs! Is this what you were looking for?" Joey held out a yellow block.

Phoebe turned around. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Now we can get out of this blue hell-pit!"

Joey and Phoebe scrambled out of the pit to chase after the twins. The teams from the second train were starting to arrive.

"Hey look – it's a team from the first train!"

**M/|\C**

"Aw... damn – it's manual!" Monica cursed, when she looked into the car that had been provided.

"Nice set of wheels – it's a Mercedes! You want me to drive, honey?" Chandler held out the map in his hands.

"Yeah, you drive – just draw out the route," Monica agreed.

"Hamburg, Hamburg, where art thou?" Chandler held out the rather detailed looking map that he had gotten from the train station.

"Should be near the ocean – I think," Monica peered over Chandler's shoulders.

"Ah, I found it. We are here," Chandler used a pen to draw an asterisk, and he traced the most direct route to Hamburg, "and we go all the way over here!"

"Wow, that's so far!" Monica exclaimed.

"Yup, we are in for a very long drive, Mon," Chandler got into the driver's seat.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road!" Monica got into the back with the map – the camera-person always sat at the front passenger seat.

**R/|\R**

"Ross! Please try to hurry up!" Rachel had just reached the top. She was quite proud of herself – being that this was the first time that she had ever attempted to climb something of this magnitude. Not to mention that she had easily beaten the rest of the competition to the top. Ross had reached the half-way point, while the father-daughter team were three-fourths up, the bickering couple was surprisingly proficient and was also half-way up – pulling ahead of Ross and Roger had just pulled himself up to the top to join Rachel.

"Wow, that was pretty strenuous," Roger panted.

"I know," Rachel agreed.

"Pity that Simon is two-thirds up – he never had a head for heights," Roger remarked.

"Neither does Ross, he's even further behind," Rachel replied back, "Ross, keep going!"

Ross struggled to reach the next blue block above his head. He was very tired. Years of teaching palaeontology did not do wonders for his physical strength. "Come on man, if Rachel can do it, so can you," he continued the conversation in his head.

Rachel waited a little impatiently at the top. Meredith and Kenneth had just made it, were given their clue – which they read quietly, and immediately rappelled down the rope that was attached to their harnesses. When they reached the ground, Rachel saw them glance around before following a series of yellow and red markers.

Ross was at least two-thirds up now, from what Rachel could see. She drummed her fingers impatiently against her practical shorts – the adrenaline in her body did not allow her to stay still. She turned around and saw Roger helping his partner up the final metre of the climb.

"Ross, you can do it! Hurry!" Rachel yelled, her heart beating faster as Roger and Simon received their next clue. The pair proceeded to read their clue and with a slight hesitation – rappelled down the face of the "mountain" as well. Much to Rachel's dismay – the last couple who were scaling the wall had reached the top as well.

Finally, Ross slowly and painstakingly reached the top – and Rachel pulled him up.

"Come on, turtle – we've got some teams to catch," Rachel teased as she was presented with the next clue.

Ross gave her an indignant huff and a hurt look.

"Sorry sweetie, I meant to say that I am very proud of you, for climbing all the way up here," Rachel tried again, and ripped open the envelope in the process.

"Hamburg, that's really far from here," Ross remarked, after glancing over the contents.

"Then we better stop dawdling and go!"

Ross looked questioningly at the edge of the mountain – with the "how-the-hell-do-we-get-down" look.

"Oh Ross, you just step down," Rachel grinned.

"What?" Ross spluttered in dismay.

"Here, I will give you a little push," Rachel walked towards Ross with an evil glint in her eyes.

"No, no!" Ross tried to stop Rachel's advances, but Rachel managed to give him a little shove. He felt himself falling down to the ground and he became aware that he was screaming. Rachel rappelled down after him.

When they both reached the ground, Ross gave Rachel a dirty look, "I can't believe you pushed me down!"

"Well, it was either that or wait forever," Rachel immediately started to run off – following the path that previous teams had gone.

Not to mention that Ross screamed like a little girl – was Rachel's thought as she ran.

**P/|\J**

"So Phoebs, do we just drive straight, all the way – towards Würzburg/Heil-Brown?" Joey asked.

Joey couldn't pass up the chance to drive a Mercedes, and Phoebe wasn't all too good at driving stick – so Phoebe was became the designated map-reader.

"Yeah, we have a long-long drive. At least five-hundred kilometres, Joey," Phoebe looked at the map in front of her.

"How long is that gonna take?" Joey inquired.

"You are driving 120 km/h so I take it that we will get there in around five hours," Phoebe replied.

"Oh my god, we aren't getting there until..." Joey stopped to think.

"Eleven, Joey," Phoebe exclaimed.

"What about dinner?" Joey's stomach started to rumble.

"Just hold it until we get to Hamburg, Joey – I don't want to get lost," Phoebe replied.

"Oh fine, you owe me, Phoebs," Joey groaned.

"How about we win this race first, and then talk about owing – Tribbiani!"

"Sir, yes sir!" Joey did a mock salute with one hand.

**M/|\C**

"Willkommen in Hamburg!" Chandler read a passing sign.

"What?" Monica replied rather sleepily.

"I think it means Welcome to Hamburg, honey," Chandler replied.

"Oh! We should get off somewhere and ask for directions to the city hall," Monica exclaimed.

"Yeah, I will get off at the next exit," Chandler started to change lanes.

"Wow, it's almost eleven," Monica peered over to look at the time.

Chandler sighed, "Yeah, that was at least five hours of driving, Mon – I am pooped!"

"No time to rest now – we've got to finish this leg!" Monica replied excitedly.

Chandler got off at the next exit and after a few minutes of driving, they stopped at a gas station to ask for directions as well as to fill up the gas tank. Monica waited in the car, while Chandler ran off to pay for gas. To what felt like an interminable amount of time to Monica, Chandler finally returned, with a piece of paper in his hands.

"I know where it is!" Chandler grinned.

"Okay, let's go!"

Chandler slammed the door shut after he got into the car and drove off.

**P/|\J**

"Where is the city hall?" Joey looked very confused as he drove around the streets of downtown Hamburg.

"I don't know Joey – we asked like five different people already, and we are still lost!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Ask another one," Joey replied, very helpfully.

"Oh Joey – I am starting to lose my faith in humanity," Phoebe groaned.

"Lose your faith in what?" Joey asked.

"Never mind – let's ask that dude over there!"

"Okay, Phoebs."

Joey stopped the car and Phoebe got out. She walked over to a German in a suit and asked him in rapid German where the City-Hall was. A few moments later, Phoebe returned back to the car.

"Joey, turn left on this street, until you hit something that sounds like Rathausmarkt. First four letters – R-A-T-H," Phoebe directed.

"Okay, Phoebs!" Joey exclaimed.

**M/|\C**

"Here we are, City Hall, Hamburg," Chandler remarked when they both got out of the car – in front of an impressive neo-renaissance style building.

"Look, the clue-box!" Monica's sharp eyes detected a lone object with a triangular flag standing in the middle of the courtyard in the front of City Hall.

They dashed towards the box and opened it. Chandler grabbed an envelope in his hand and ripped it open.

"Roadblock!" Monica exclaimed in awe.

"Who's ready to get hammered?" Chandler read.

"Hammered, hm..." Monica started to think.

"Something to do with drinking – probably," Chandler replied.

"You do it!" Monica thrusted the paper into Chandler's hands.

"Okay, I will." Chandler looked at the instructions for the roadblock.

"Let's go!" Monica pulled Chandler away and back to the car.

Chandler first stopped to ask a passerby where the Roadblock place was and after asking five different individuals, he had a new map drawn on a blank piece of paper.

"Apparently, we are going to a very posh bar," Chandler remarked dryly to Monica.

"Cool! I will probably get some dinner while you do the drinking."

"If we can afford it, honey. Posh doesn't equal cheap."

Ten minutes of driving later, Chandler parked the car and the couple entered the bar. It was rather dimly lit and they were led to an area at the back of the bar by a waiter, dressed in a suit.

"The task of this Roadblock," the waiter enunciated each syllable carefully, "Is to drink all the beer in one of those buckets to reach the clue located at the bottom. You must drink all of it!"

Chandler walked over to one of the buckets. A shot glass had been provided.

"I am supposed to drink all of this!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Yeah, let's go – Phoebe and Joey can't be too far behind us," Monica replied.

Chandler took the shot glass in his hand and started to scoop up the beer.

"Cheers!" he raised the glass to Monica and downed the shot, "Good stuff!"

Monica watched in amusement as she watched her husband down shot after shot – while making ridiculous toasts to everything.

"To my wife – the most beautiful woman, ever!" He downed a shot. Monica beamed.

"To this race – for attempting to get me fabulously drunk!" He poured another one down the hatch.

"To Phil – for hopefully not eliminating us!"

"To the Deutschland – for really good beer!"

"To chairs, for being something to rest my ass in!"

Ten minutes into the Roadblock, another waiter led Phoebe and Joey into the back.

"Hey Mon," Phoebe greeted.

"Hey Phoebe," Monica returned the greeting.

"Beer, baby!" Joey ran off to the tub beside Chandler's and started to drink.

"They are going to get really drunk after this," Phoebe remarked.

"Yeah, I wonder how many bottles of beers they put in the buckets," Monica inquired.

"Plenty, that's for sure," Phoebe remarked.

"To Joey – my best drinking buddy!" Chandler exclaimed.

"To Chandler! My bestest buddy in the entire world!" Joey drained his next shot.

"Chandler's face is all red," Phoebe observed.

"Yeah, he's been at it for ten minutes," Monica replied.

"Hey guys," Harry and Patrick stepped into the scene.

"Good driving?" Phoebe asked.

"Got a little lost at the outskirts, but fortunately we only wasted ten minutes," Harry replied.

"Time to get me some beer!" Patrick made his way to the buckets.

"Chandler's got one-fourth of a bucket left," Phoebe observed.

"Go Chandler!" Monica called out.

At this point, Chandler was just shoving shot after shot, desperate to finish. He had gotten sick of drinking five minutes ago, but he knew he had to keep going. Joey and Patrick were struggling to catch up to him – but his lead was too great.

"I think I am done!" Chandler called out to Monica, a little unsteadily.

"Get the clue at the bottom," Monica shouted out.

Chandler slowly put his hand in the bucket and pulled out a yellow envelope in a plastic bag. One of the waiters came over to check his bucket.

"Okay, you are free to go, good luck!"

Chandler stumbled his way back to Monica and handed her the envelope. She tore it, and immediately seized Chandler by the arm and dragged him out the bar – without mentioning anything to anyone.

"Walk to the pit-stop – which is the St. Michaelis Church. Good job for reaching this point of the race," Monica read to Chandler.

"I think I am drunk!" Chandler groaned.

"It's okay honey, just hold on to my hand," Monica grasped her husband's hand – wrinkling her nose at the smell of booze. She asked several other pedestrians for directions. Eventually, one of the people asked – a gentleman led them to the church. It was a five minute walk under the relatively cool dark skies and soon they made it to the imposing building.

"Look, there's Phil and some German dude," Monica pointed up the stairs.

"Let's go then," Chandler replied.

Slowly, Monica and Chandler walked towards the flight of stairs and then climbed up the stairs to the mat. A man wearing a Tracht – a traditional German costume greeted them.

"Welcome to Hamburg, Germany."

"Thank you," Monica and Chandler both replied.

"Monica and Chandler – you guys are the first team to arrive!" Phil exclaimed.

"Thank goodness!" Chandler leaned against Monica.

"Yay! We are first!" Monica gave Phil a huge hug.

"A little tipsy there?" Phil grinned at Chandler.

"Haven't drunk that much since college or those jello shots that Monica made many years ago," Chandler replied.

"Ah, the jello shots – where you ended up kissing –" Monica started to reply mischievously.

"Honey, I might be drunk – but you shouldn't be announcing your husband's past misdeeds to the rest of the world." Chandler cut off Monica before she could finish her sentence.

"Right, forgot that the cameramen were here," Monica grinned unapologetically.

"Alright, for coming in first for the second leg, you guys win an all-expense paid trip to Sydney, Australia – where you can catch an opera, go scuba diving and all sorts of other things – for a week. You can enjoy that after the race." Phil said, "And you guys should probably go inside – dinner is served!"

**P/|\J**

"My god, is that Phil?" Joey stumbled drunkenly across the front of the church.

"He's a sight for sore eyes, isn't he," Phoebe grabbed on to Joey before he tripped over his own feet.

"Let's go, Patty and Harry are still behind us," Joey slurred.

"Okay," Phoebe marched Joey up the stairs and on to the mat.

"Welcome to Hamburg, Germany," The man replied in a slight German accent.

"Thank you," Joey and Phoebe nodded their heads.

"Joey and Phoebe, you are the second team to arrive! Congratulations!" Phil exclaimed.

Phoebe did her little victory dance while Joey struggled to keep his balance.

"So how was this leg?" Phil asked them.

"Tiring," Phoebe replied.

"I am hungry," Joey rubbed his stomach, "And definitely not for beer."

"Alright guys, I won't keep you from your dinner!" Phil pointed towards the church.

**R/|\R**

"You sure you can handle that alcohol, Ross?" Rachel asked.

Ross drained his glass. "Yeah, I should be fine! They don't call me Ross-a-tron for nothing!"

Rachel rolled her eyes.

Besides Ross, Kenneth, Simon, Arlene and Sarah were drinking up a storm.

"It's basically a race for fourth place," Meredith observed.

"Yeah, the top three are very good, aren't they – they are still top three this leg too!" Roger replied.

"Would love to knock down the trio," Yvonne the blonde looked at her manicured nails.

"Yeah, I mean, what do they have that we don't have!" Arianna replied with a hint of superiority in her voice.

"Your superior attitude, for one," Roger remarked dryly.

"At least I am not sarcastic – like you," Arianna replied disdainfully.

"Guys, can't we behave like civilized human beings?" Meredith intervened.

"Nope, this is a race – where people become monsters!" Roger replied.

"Really?" Rachel replied with a question.

Roger nodded. "The ugliness of some people's natures is revealed as the race goes on."

"Yvonne! I am done! But I need help to get the clue," Arlene called out – slurring her words.

"Okay, I am coming," Yvonne got up from her bar-stool to help her older sister.

"I am done too, Roger, I've got the clue – let's go!" Simon could evidently hold his liqueur – he seemed unfazed by the alcohol consumption – a stark contrast to the clearly drunk Arlene.

Rachel watched as Roger and Simon made their way out of the bar and Yvonne guiding her sister out.

"Ross, let's go! We can still be sixth!" Rachel cried out.

"I am trying! I am trying!" Ross exclaimed, shot glass halfway towards his mouth.

Many tense moments later, Ross called out that he was done – and he removed the clue from the bottom of the tub. He opened the bag and pulled out the clue, before stumbling over to Rachel.

Rachel took the envelope and tore it open. She pulled Ross out of the bar.

"The pit-stop Ross, let's go!" Rachel held Ross's hand and asked the pedestrians walking around for directions. Roughly five minutes later, they found themselves in front of the church and walked up to Phil who was waiting serenely on the mat. The man beside him initiated the greeting.

"Welcome to Hamburg, Germany."

"Thank you," Ross and Rachel replied back.

"Ross and Rachel, you are team number – you guess!" Phil exclaimed.

"Six!" Rachel supplied.

"Nope – you are team number FIVE!" Phil corrected.

"Really? But?" Rachel looked confused.

"They probably got lost on the way here," Phil said good-naturedly.

"Oh!" Rachel replied.

"Dinner is served, if you guys would like it," Phil gestured towards the church.

**P/|\J**

"Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall!" Joey sang drunkenly at the altar of the church.

"Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-eight bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, ninety-seven bottles of beer on the wall." Ross joined in – his head was still spinning from the drinks.

"You guys do know that you are in a middle of a church!" Rachel reprimanded.

"We are too drunk to care! Ninety-seven bottles –" Patrick continued on to the next stanza.

"This is going to be a long night!" Monica remarked at the singing men.

"Knew that Roadblocks with booze was a bad idea," Rachel muttered.

"At least Chandler is sleeping it off," Phoebe looked at Chandler who was sleeping on one of the pew benches with a red sheet draped over his body.

"Yeah," Monica smiled affectionately at her sleeping husband.

"Wonder where we are going tomorrow," Rachel mused.

"Could be anywhere," Phoebe replied, "But hopefully somewhere exciting!"

"How much longer is this song going to last – I am going to get a headache!" Harry groaned.

"Well, they are on number seventy-seven..." Rachel replied glumly.

"Hopefully they will all pass out and we can get some peace and quiet!" Phoebe looked hopefully at the three men.

"Somehow, I doubt it," Rachel shot Ross an exasperated look.


	4. Let's Not Make This Anymore Gross!

_A/N: Look I got this up on time! I was afraid that it was going to take until Monday – but I managed. I haven't proofread this – so there's probably going to be some typos – but I will get to that tomorrow or the day after that. If you notice any typos that should be corrected asap, please let me know. _

_Edit: It has been proofread. See you guys next Sunday! :) - August 15, 2011  
><em>

_As for place requests – I will see what I can do. I have a rough idea of all the places that the Friends are going to go already, but I may be able to add something in. Plus, it's supposed to be randomized for your enjoyment! (Wink!)_

_Thanks guys for all the reviews. Awesome! And on that note, please leave a review. :D_

_This week's leg is brought to you by Wikipedia, the BBC and oh I don't know._

* * *

><p><strong>The Amazing Race: Friends Edition (3<strong>**rd**** Leg) –** **"Let's not make this anymore gross than necessary!" - Monica**

**R/|\R ~ P/|\J**

"Morning boys, how's that hangover coming along?" Phoebe looked towards Ross and Joey who were making their way to the breakfast table that had been set up in the foyer of the church, while she herself took a hearty helping of Germany's finest sausages.

"Some night," Joey muttered to himself while clutching his head in agony.

"I don't even remember half of it," Ross grumbled to himself as he pulled out a chair – which Joey promptly stole. "Hey, that was my chair!" Ross glared at Joey.

"Sorry man," Joey immediately removed the fork off the table and helped himself to enormous helpings of boiled eggs, various cold cuts, bread rolls with jam, cheese and freshly cooked sausages.

Ross rolled his eyes before finally sitting himself down. He poured himself a glass of water and popped an aspirin in his mouth.

"So where's everyone else?" Joey looked around the table.

"Monica and Chandler were here ten minutes ago, but they left to go walk around. Patrick and Harry are still sleeping like babies and Rachel -," Phoebe started to inform them.

"Rachel is still napping too. Well, it doesn't really matter since we are leaving almost two hours after you guys," Ross finished Phoebe's report.

Joey piled his cold-cut meat and cheese between slices of bread. "Now, that's a sandwich – German style!" he exclaimed, "And it's delicious!" He took an enormous bite of his creation.

Phoebe looked at Joey in surprise, "Wow, you don't even look hung-over!"

"Sandwiches are the solution to all life's problems," Joey exclaimed. "And hot girls," he added after a few seconds.

"And I thought aspirin was a sure cure!" Ross sighed, before helping himself to a banana from a large bowl of fruit at the center of the table.

**M/|\C**

"Are you ready, Mon?" Chandler asked his wife.

The couple were sitting under a large tree – within close vicinity to the mat. The clue-box had already been set up and it was taking all of Monica's willpower to refrain from walking up there and taking a clue.

"As ready as I will ever be," Monica looked longingly at the box.

"It's a nice day," Chandler remarked, "Very breezy."

"Yeah, how many more minutes do we have left?" Monica asked.

"Two more minutes," Chandler glanced quickly at his watch.

"Wonder what we are doing today," Monica snuggled up to her husband.

Chandler sighed. "As long as it doesn't involve mountain-climbing."

"You were pretty good, yesterday," Monica complimented.

"That was a onetime thing and you are so doing today's Roadblock," Chandler replied with emphasis on the last part of his sentence.

"Kay, it's only fair," Monica sighed. She knew that teams were supposed to evenly distribute the Roadblocks between themselves.

"Let's go," Chandler got up from his spot under the shady tree and picked up his pack. Monica did the same – and picked up the fanny pack that contained their passports.

The two of them walked hand-in-hand to the mat. Thirty seconds later, Monica opened the clue-box and pulled out a yellow envelope. She ripped it open.

"Welcome to the third leg of your journey. For this leg – first proceed to the base of the Heinrich-Hertz TV tower by foot – using the map provided. The next route marker will be waiting for you there. 99 dollars have been provided for this leg of the race," Monica read.

"Let me see the map," Chandler removed the printed map from Monica's hands.

"Is it far?" Monica inquired.

"No, looks rather short – let's get going then!"

Chandler and Monica headed east from their original spot at a leisurely pace.

**P/|\J**

Ten minutes later, at the mat, Phoebe and Joey were standing - waiting for the two minutes to pass before they could start their journey. Joey's headache had subsided shortly after the lavish German breakfast he had devoured. Phoebe was whistling impatiently and Joey paced the mat. When the two minutes were up, Phoebe opened the lid of the box and retrieved their first clue. She ripped it open with a flourish and removed the contents.

"We are walking, Joey," Phoebe counted the money provided.

"Okay, let's walk, where?" Joey looked around.

Phoebe pulled Joey by his shirt and the two of them started off. They walked on the street known as Lagerstrasse in silence – admiring the architecture of the various styled buildings. They turned on Karolinenstrasse. Phoebe had the map in her hands, carefully making sure that they were following the path marked.

A good twenty minutes later, they were standing in front of the tallest structure in Hamburg. The Heinrich-Hertz tower was a pillar of steel and concrete with eight distinctive platforms. Phoebe made her way to the clue-box which was located near an entrance and pulled out a clue. She tore it open with practiced ease.

"Roadblock!" Joey exclaimed – recognizing the red colouring on the clue that Phoebe had pulled out.

"Who's ready for a leap of faith?" Phoebe read.

"That's you Phoebs! I've already been hammered!" Joey grinned.

"Alright Joey, let's go up that tower!"

Phoebe and Joey entered through the doors. Behind them, a few seconds behind, Patrick and Harry had just reached the clue-box.

**M/|\C**

"Are you sure you can do this, Mon?" Chandler looked dubiously through the window from the highest available observation deck.

"Yeah, I've always wanted to bungee," Monica was getting strapped onto the harness by two attendants.

"Is it even safe?" Chandler worried.

"Yeah, I will be fine, honey, I love you," Monica smiled at her husband.

"I love you too. Oh my god, I can't look!" Chandler was freaking out more than his wife was.

"Are you ready?" one of the attendants asked Monica.

"Yeah, on the count of three?" Monica inquired, taking tentative steps out towards the edge of the bungee jumping platform.

"Three, two, one – jump!" Both the attendants yelled, and Monica took her leap of faith.

For Monica, it was exhilarating – her body was at the mercy of gravity and she heard herself yelling as she felt herself accelerate towards the ground. Just when she thought she was going to strike the ground – she felt a jerking motion – rather similar to an elastic band in motion and she oscillated up and down in the air. She let out a cry of victory.

Back up at the tower, Chandler had released the breath that he hadn't realized that he had been holding while watching his wife plummet to the ground below. He was very glad that he didn't do the Roadblock – but at the same time – he knew he wouldn't mind trading spots with his wife – if she truly didn't want to do it. He smiled when he heard Monica's triumphant cry from below.

Two other attendants at the ground helped Monica out of her harness and she gave them both a high-five. One of the attendants presented her with the next clue.

"Congratulations, but don't open the clue until you are with your partner."

"Alright, I will," Monica raced her way back to the tower – and headed up to see her husband.

**P/|\J**

Phoebe spread out her arms and jumped daringly off the bungee platform with an intelligible yell. The bungee jump appealed greatly to Phoebe's adventurous nature and she was thrilled that she picked this Roadblock to do. In a flash, she felt the shock cord halt her descent to the ground and she was dangling up and down.

Joey, Patrick and Harry were still looking at the spot that Phoebe had been standing earlier before she leapt in shock. Harry was extremely nervous – Patrick had shoved the Roadblock on to him – and he was the next one to jump off the building.

"Come on Harry, cheer up! You have the face of a man walking to the electric chair!" Patrick poked fun at his brother.

Harry shot him a glare. "It's not like you are jumping. I am!"

"You won't die." Patrick smiled.

Harry grimaced. "What if I do? I can see the headlines now – Amazing Race team-member faceplants into the ground after daring jump off the Heinrich-Hertz tower."

"Nice to see that fear hasn't dulled your sharp wit, brother," Patrick smirked.

"Well, we will see when you are bawling all over my gravestone," Harry retorted.

"Bawling – I think not!"

"Next, victim-I mean jumper please!" One of the attendants coughed.

Harry shot Patrick one last fearful look before making his way towards the bungee platform where the attendants helped him into his harness. Patrick returned his brother's look of fear with a smile and a wink.

"Toodles!" Patrick waved.

"Arggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Harry jumped off the platform after he was given the okay.

"Joey! I am back!" Phoebe ran into the observation deck.

"Nice job, Phoebs – I couldn't have done it!" Joey exclaimed.

"Neither could I, but don't let Harry know," Patrick whispered.

Joey nodded. "Oh your secret is safe with me. I am a great secret keeper."

Phoebe tore open the clue envelope and read.

"Your journey in Germany has come to an end. Travel by any means possible to Hamburg-Fuhlsbüttel Airport and fly to Luxor, Egypt. Your next clue awaits you at the front entrance of the Ipet-isut. Fly safe!"

"Ipet-what?" Joey scratched his head.

"I don't know what that is either, Joey – come on we've got to get to that airport!"

"Taxi?" Joey inquired.

"Yeah, we have enough money – let's go!"

Phoebe and Joey headed towards the elevators that would take them down.

**M/|\C**

"I think we are about to lose our lead," Chandler remarked to Monica as he stood at one of the airport computers looking up the meaning for Ipet-isut.

"Yeah, the Air-Berlin plane doesn't leave until five-something," Monica looked at the plane tickets.

Chandler nodded. "It's an equalizer; basically, a good chunk of us will be in the same boat after this plane ride."

"Hopefully not everyone will be on our plane. The ticket-person did say that there was limited seating available for today's flight." Monica sighed, watching her husband Google Ipet-isut.

"Interesting, it's the Temple of Karnak," Chandler scribbled down the words on the clue.

"What do they even speak there in Egypt?" Monica asked her husband, after thinking for a minute.

"According to this website," Chandler searched, "Egyptian Arabic, German and French."

"Not English!" Monica looked in dismay.

"Nope – but we will get around it somehow," Chandler replied.

"How about we use the translator and write down Temple of Karnak in Arabic – cuts down the time," Monica suggested.

"Oh that's clever," Chandler grinned.

Monica looked at the squiggles of Arabic on the screen after Chandler had found a reputable translation site. "Let me copy it," Monica took the pen from Chandler and with exquisite care, she copied down the scribbles.

معبد الكرنك

**R/|\R**

"Another good day for racing," Rachel remarked to Ross as they headed for the mat. It was mid-afternoon now, and the skies were cloudy.

"Yup, wonder what's for today," Ross grinned back, while opening the clue-box.

"Well, let's see," Rachel looked at the yellow envelope in Ross's hands with great eagerness.

Ross tore the envelope with practiced ease, and the couple happily followed the map provided – and followed the path that the other teams before them had gone. Ross and Rachel also took a few seconds now and there to admire the vast variety of styles in buildings.

Soon, they reached the looming tower, and Rachel ran excitedly to the clue-standing close to the front entrance. She flipped the lid open and reached in for another envelope. She ripped it open and called out, "Roadblock!"

"Another one?" Ross mused, as soon as he had caught up to his girlfriend at the box.

"Yup, who's ready to take a leap of faith," Rachel read to Ross.

"Sounds like it involves heights," Ross gave the tower a look of distaste.

"Oh, I will do it, you big chicken," Rachel smirked.

"I am not a chicken!" Ross glared defensively at Rachel.

"Are too," Rachel grinned back, with a knowing gleam in her eye.

Ross huffed, "Fine, in that case, I will do it!"

"Are you sure, Ross? I am perfectly willing to do it," Rachel asked her boyfriend.

"Oh yeah, my reputation as a man hangs on a line!" Ross exclaimed.

"Okay, hurry up and choose, we don't have all day!" Rachel rushed.

"I am doing it!" Ross grabbed the Roadblock clue from Rachel and read the task. He visibly paled and passed the paper back to Rachel. She read it, and looked sympathetically at her boyfriend.

"Too late to back out now, Geller," Rachel pushed her shocked boyfriend through the doors. "Sometimes," Rachel wondered to herself, "Why do men need to prove that they are so macho!"

**P/|\J**

"No chance that you speak Egyptian, Phoebs?" Joey asked his partner with an amused look.

Phoebe and Joey were sitting on the black chairs at the gate that their Air-Berlin flight was supposed to take off in about an hour. Joey had bought several hot-dogs from one of the fast-food stores in the airport and was happily snacking away while Phoebe had managed to borrow a German businessman's laptop and was busy looking up where they were going in Luxor.

"Nice, we are going to the Temple of Karnak! I've always wanted to go there!" Phoebe exclaimed, disregarding Joey's previous question.

"What?" Joey looked bemusedly at Phoebe.

"Oh it's a mix of temples dedicated to the ancient Egyptian gods, Joey," Phoebe grinned.

"Really?" Joey gave Phoebe an inquisitive look.

"Apparently in one of my past lives – I was an Egyptian priestess," Phoebe reflected happily to herself.

"Cool," Joey replied.

"Yeah, it would be nice to see a temple that I may have "worked" at during one of my past lives," Phoebe smiled dreamily to herself.

"Was I there?" Joey asked.

"I don't think so," Phoebe thought for a moment.

"Aw..." Joey looked sad.

"Oh, don't worry Joey, you were present in some of my other past lives – and this one, of course," Phoebe replied comfortingly to Joey.

"Oh, tell me some stories!" Joey exclaimed.

"Okay, so this is what happened..."

**R/|\R**

When Rachel and Ross finally reached the top observation deck, they were surprised to see Roger standing in front of the glass window – looking down.

"Hey Roge," Rachel greeted.

"Hey guys," Roger turned around, "Simon just took his leap. He almost had a nervous breakdown while getting strapped to his harness."

"Really? I thought you were the one terrified?" Rachel remembered the mountain detour from yesterday.

"Nope, I just suck at climbing, period," Roger grinned.

"Next," one of the bungee jump attendants said.

"Ross, that's you," Rachel whispered.

Ross made a few unintelligible sounds before walking the few steps to the platform. He was terrified. "Why on Earth did I take this roadblock? I did yesterday's!" he thought to himself. "Ah, you just wanted to prove that you were not a coward to your Rachel." The voice in his head replied. "Now I just look like an idiot!" Ross sighed inwardly. "Just take it like a man!" the voice in his head encouraged. "Fine," Ross huffed to himself.

Rachel watched as the attendants helped Ross into the bungee harness. She reflected that it wasn't a good idea to call Ross a chicken. She should've been the one in the harness – after all Ross did do yesterday's roadblock. She shrugged to herself – well he did kind of ask for it. Plus, nothing like conquering your fears, Rachel thought. And plus, she didn't have to jump off – she wasn't completely not afraid of heights – especially the type that involved one plummeting several hundred metres off the ground.

One of the attendants nodded to Ross, signalling that he could go whenever he was ready. Ross felt his whole body shaking like a leaf in a strong gust of wind. He took a deep breath, in an attempt to calm down his nerves – and took one tentative step towards the opening of the platform. "This is insane!" he thought to himself. From what he could see, there was nothing but sky, and more sky.

"Anytime you are ready," one of the attendants said, with a heavy German accent.

"Ross, you can do it!" he heard Rachel call out at him.

"Yes you can!" Roger's voice rang in his ears.

"Alright, now or never," Ross muttered to himself and took the last two steps to the edge. And before he could have any other hesitations or reservations about his fall, he shut his eyes tightly and leapt into the empty space.

It was over in a flash. Ross felt the adrenaline and his heart pumping so rapidly that he thought that he was going to have a heart-attack mid-flight. He could feel himself oscillating up and down – and one of the ground attendants helped him out of his harness.

"Terrifying, wasn't it," the attendant nodded knowing at him.

"Frightening," Ross could barely manage to get the word out, "but somewhat exhilarating. I am glad I did it."

"Here's your next clue, don't open it until you are with your partner," another attendant handed Ross another yellow envelope.

"Thanks guys!" Ross walked slowly back to the tower – trying to calm down his hyper-active body.

**M/|\C**

"So here's our seats – as close to the front as possible," Chandler shoved his huge backpack into the overhead compartment.

"Yup, thank goodness you thought to ask them for the front-most seats," Monica smiled at her husband, before putting her backpack up too.

"A lot of our competition is on this flight," Chandler observed, "Phoebe and Joey, Patrick and Harry."

"Simon and Roger, Ross and Rachel, Arlene and Yvonne and Meredith and Kenneth," Monica continued.

"Did Natasha and Trevor, or Sarah and Arianne get on?" Chandler asked his wife.

"I haven't seen them," Monica replied.

"Then it's probably a safe bet that it's the seven of us. Ross and Rachel and Arlene and Yvonne were barely able to get on this flight," Chandler mused.

"Oh look, the seatbelt sign is on," Monica fastened her seatbelt.

"And we are going to the runway," Chandler felt the motion of the plane.

"Yeah, seven desperate teams desperately seeking first place," Chandler remarked dryly.

"I will be happy if we can get in the top three – being first is like having a huge-apple on your head," Monica reflected.

"Apple? As in target?" Chandler looked at his wife in amusement.

"Oh whatever. We are all a little tired," Monica defended her self.

"We are flying!" Chandler exclaimed when the plane lifted off the ground.

Monica gave her husband a semi-amused look.

**P/|\J**

"Phoebs, what are you doing?" Joey asked.

Phoebe had a book in front of her, and a pencil in her hand – and was deep in thought.

"I am doing a puzzle," she replied back to Joey.

"What kind of puzzle?" Joey looked inquisitively at Phoebe.

"The crossword, you want to help? – it's in English," Phoebe grinned.

"Yeah, what'cha stuck on?" Joey looked over Phoebe's shoulder.

"Six letter word for type of arachnid," Phoebe mused.

"Arach-what?" Joey looked baffled.

"Arachnid – eight legged things," Phoebe explained.

"Eight legs? Like a spider?" Joey exclaimed.

"Joey, you are a genius! Spider!" Phoebe immediately began to scribble down the letters.

"I am?" Joey grinned.

"Yeah you are, how about a three letter word for nosy person?" Phoebe asked.

"Nosy! Spy!" Joey grinned.

"It fits!" Phoebe yelled out excitedly.

"How about this one? To take over something," Joey read another clue.

"Take over? As in hijack?" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Phoebs, you might want to keep it down," Joey whispered when several people looked towards them, suspiciously.

"Oh right, sorry," Phoebe grinned. She waved to all the onlookers, nonchalantly, before returning her attention back to the paper.

**M/|\C**

As soon as the plane had landed and reached the terminal of Luxor International Airport, Chandler and Monica got out of their seats and reached for their bags with fluid ease. They made their way through the throng of people, with a few slight pushes. As soon as they exited the plane, they dashed through the terminal, through customs and found their way to a taxi stand, where there were lots of people waiting for a taxi. Chandler and Monica inconspicuously inched their way forward and got into the most recently arrived taxi as soon as the occupants got out.

"Could you take us to Temple of Karnak?" Chandler inquired the taxi-driver, while showing him the Arabic script that Monica had attempted earlier.

"Karnak, temple?" the man asked.

"Yes," Chandler nodded.

"Okay," And the man sped the taxi away.

"Boy, is it hot!" Chandler remarked to his wife.

"You mean when we got out of the airport?" Monica asked.

"Yeah," Chandler replied.

"Well, honey, we are in Egypt," Monica grinned, "and as far as desert countries go, they are generally hot!"

"And it's the evening too! I hate to see what it would be like – during the day." Chandler complained.

"Well, we will find out tomorrow, won't we?" Monica replied.

"Well, I hope we don't stay outdoors too much. It's sweltering! I wouldn't be surprised if people spontaneously combusted here!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Well, that would be on the news, don't you think, honey?" Monica smiled with a hint of amusement.

"Well, I miss the weather in Hamburg, already," Chandler sighed.

"I think we all do," Monica agreed.

**R/|\R**

"Ross, here's a taxi!" Rachel exclaimed loudly over a large throng of people.

"I am coming Rach!" Ross dashed over to Rachel as fast as he could. They both settled into the taxi.

"Karnak – temple!" Rachel said to the taxi-driver, urgently.

"Ah, the temple of Karnak," the driver mused.

"Very fast!" Ross said.

The taxi driver merely smiled and drove at a leisurely speed. Ross and Rachel looked at each other with exasperated expressions on their faces.

"See, this is what happens if people like to drive slowly," Rachel smirked at Ross.

Ross huffed. He knew what Rachel was implying – his driving. "Well, you can't blame me for playing it safe!"

"But in the case of a million dollars," Rachel sighed.

"Well, a million dollars is enough to change people's minds." Ross groaned, "And we are stuck in the slow taxi."

"Monica and Chandler got out first and got a taxi first," Rachel sighed, "We got into the second taxi, but we got a slow driver."

"Look, there's Patrick and Harry's car!" Ross pointed at another taxi that was pulling ahead.

"And there's Arlene and Yvonne!" Rachel looked out from her window.

"And there's Phoebe and Joey! That's it; we are last out of the group – again!" Ross moaned.

"Wait, where are Roger and Simon?" Rachel asked.

Ross shrugged, "Hopefully behind us."

Rachel nodded.

**P/|\J**

Phoebe and Joey slammed the door of their taxi and got their belongings out of the car before trekking their way to large magnificent stone buildings, made out of limestone. It was almost completely dark now – the skies a dark, dark blue colour, and stars shining, like sparkles on navy-blue cloth. They walked through a grand pathway that was all covered in sand, but outlined with stone – kind of like a bridge. When they got to the entrance, they saw Chandler, Monica, Harry, Patrick, Roger and Simon sitting on a large blue tarp, either sitting or lying down.

"Hey guys, is this the new pit stop?" Phoebe quipped.

"We wish!" Chandler exclaimed, reclining on one end of the tarp with Monica.

"Nope, check out the clue over there," Harry pointed to the clue-box a few feet away from where everyone was relaxing.

Joey walked over to the clue box and opened up the envelope. He passed the contents to Phoebe, who then read out loud, "Detour – Mummy or Pyramid. Mummy – make your own mummy – using methods from thousands of years ago. Pyramid – drag a block the size of the blocks used in the pyramids to a designated site in the same fashion that the Ancient Egyptians did. Hours of operation – 8:00 AM to 6:00 PM."

"There goes our lead," Phoebe remarked.

"Yeah, but at least we get a rest," Patrick sighed.

"Does anyone know when the second plane is coming in?" Roger asked.

Negative answers were sounded by everyone.

"Hey, look over there – it's the sisters!" Simon exclaimed, pointing to two girls walking in the distance.

"As they said, the more the merrier," Harry waved at them.

"Hey guys!" Arlene, dressed in a short skirt and tank-top, greeted everyone.

"Yeah, hey!" Yvonne jumped in after her sister.

"So what do you guys think of Egypt so far?" Patrick asked everyone as soon Arlene and Yvonne had settled themselves down. They had contributed a bed-sheet to expand the surface area of the tarp.

"Way too sandy!" His brother replied, "I've got sand in places you shouldn't have sand in!"

"No more details, please!" Chandler held up his hands in protest.

"Awfully hot and humid!" Arlene sighed, "But it's a lot cooler now, since the sun's gone down – so I am not complaining."

"Yeah, I don't like the sand either," Roger groaned. He had gotten up from his position on the tarp to empty the sand out of his shoes.

"I knida wish I was indoors," Simon replied, "No sand, some nice artificial temperatures, and somewhere nice to sleep."

"Bah! No such luck," Phoebe retorted, "At least it's not windy – so the sand isn't blowing everywhere and it's actually pretty comfortable right now."

"So are we having dinner today?" Joey asked.

"Dinner? There's nothing to eat here!" Harry exclaimed, "What we had on the plane was dinner!"

"Damn it! It was like an appetizer!" Joey frowned.

"Hey look, it's Ross and Rachel and Kenneth and Meredith! Hey guys!" Patrick waved, with a towel in his hand.

"What took you guys so long?" Roger asked, "We were here ages ago! And we were on the same plane!"

"Slowest taxi driver, ever!" Ross retorted with some venom.

"Now, now Ross, don't you go calling the kettle black," Chandler smirked.

"That's what I said!" Rachel exclaimed.

"That's what she said!" Harry grinned – inanely.

"Oh shut up, it's not funny," Arlene frowned, while giving Harry a playful swat on the back.

"Yeah, shut up you guys!" Ross folded his arms together with a pissed expression.

But that did nothing to stop or stifle the few giggles that some other team-members had released afterwards. And it wasn't a few, it was quite a lot.

**R/|\R ~ M/|\C ~ P/|\J**

"Well, well, looks like we are all caught up now!" A man's voice startled everyone on the tarp.

"Well, well, well, would you look at that – the ones who bicker are here," Harry mocked quietly to those on the tarp.

"Well, it's Trevor," Monica whispered to Chandler.

"And they aren't fighting!" Chandler exclaimed back to Monica.

"Aren't they a little cold? " Phoebe whispered, as the recently arrived couple set up a bed-sheet at the other side of the entrance.

"A degree below freezing," Patrick replied back.

"Not sure if I like them quiet or bickering,' Simon remarked.

"And there's Arianne and Sarah," Ross looked out into the distance.

"Double trouble," Harry sighed.

"Notice how they don't even say hi to anyone," Kenneth observed when the two girls spread out their own sheets halfway between the two camps already set up.

"And here's Gilbert and Skye!" Rachel exclaimed. She waved her hands at the couple.

"Hey guys, how was the trip?" Roger stood up to greet them.

"Pretty good – the back's obviously sore, but it could've been worse," Gilbert replied back cheerily.

"And we are in Egypt! A fascinating place – so steeped in history!" Skye took a moment to admire the magnificent ruins of the temple with the perfect amount of awe.

"So when did your plane leave?" Patrick inquired.

"Seven – and it's like one AM right now," Gilbert looked at his watch.

"I guess we better crash then – seven hours of sleep is better than none," Harry remarked.

"Night night, then," Joey curled up and was a sleep within in seconds.

"Don't let the bed-bugs bite – I mean tarp-bugs – whatever!" Phoebe staked out a claim on one corner of the tarp and lied down.

And within seconds – everyone was asleep – or at least trying to.

**M/|\C **

"Chandler, rise and shine!" Monica whispered into her husband's ear.

"What, what time is it?" he mumbled sleepily, trying to avoid waking up.

"Detour time," Monica replied back, quietly.

"Kay," Chandler was awake.

The two of them got their bags together and walked up to the entrance of the temple – which was still sealed off – since it was still 7:30. Monica went through her bag and came up with two sandwiches.

"Wow, you had this all planned out?" Chandler exclaimed.

"Of course! I am Monica, remember! I knew we were going to be camping overnight so I bought some food."

"Of course I know you are Monica, honey," Chandler grinned.

"Sometimes – it really does pay off to watch reruns of _The Amazing Race_," Monica replied.

"So which detour are we doing today?" Chandler asked.

"What do you think, honey?" Monica asked back.

"Probably the Mummy – I don't look forward to doing labour in the hot scorching sun for the next few hours," Chandler whispered.

"I don't either, but labour might be faster and everyone has caught up," Monica replied back, intensely but quietly.

"Well, we will professional mummy-makers, and do it as quick as possible," Chandler answered back, trying to do everything to dissuade Monica from choosing the Pyramid option.

"Alright then, mummies it is," Monica conceded.

"Kay," Chandler replied happily.

**R/|\R**

"So are you sure that Pyramid is a good idea?" Rachel asked her boyfriend as they walked into a sandy wide-open area of the desert.

"Labour tasks are generally faster, and we don't have much time to spare since everyone is here," Ross replied back. He could see the hunks of stone in the distance.

Rachel noticed them too. "Wow, they look pretty big from here. Are you sure we can do it, sweetie?"

"Sure we can. If the Ancient Egyptians can do it – so can us!" Ross exclaimed.

"Hopefully Ross, hopefully," Rachel sighed, feeling the warmth of the Egyptian sun on her arms. It might be early morning, but the desert was starting to warm up quite a bit from the comparatively cool night that they had.

A few minutes later, Ross and Rachel had reached their blocks, alongside with Harry and Patrick, Simon and Roger, Natasha and Trevor and Arlene and Yvonne.

They were all assembled in front of the supervisors, who were all dressed Egyptian style – with tunics made out of white-linen.

"Hey guys, welcome to Pyramid," one of them spoke.

"Your task for today will sound a lot easier said than done," another one replied.

"The task is to move the blocks from there," he pointed to the blocks, "To the designated pyramid building site, over there." He pointed to a bunch of large yellow and red flags off in the distance.

"Wow, that's far," Rachel murmured to Ross.

"We can do it," he replied back, giving Rachel's hand a small squeeze.

"So, you ask, how do you do it?" another supervisor started to say.

"You take the logs, which for your convenience aren't real logs and you will move it in front of all the logs. Then you will pull your block with the rope that's been attached forward onto the next log. And then you go back to the back and move one of the logs forward. And you repeat."

"So are you guys ready?"

"Yeah!"

"Then get going, we've got pyramids to build!"

Everyone dashed off to find a block to drag.

**P/|\J ~ M/|\C**

Phoebe, Joey, Monica, Chandler and the rest of the teams found themselves in a dimly-lit chamber, underground. A few wooden torches had been lit around the cracked limestone block walls. Large wooden tables were set up everywhere, each containing mummy-making materials. A tall man, dressed in a simple piece of white linen, and wearing an Anubis mask presided over the tables.

"Welcome to the afterlife," Chandler joked immediately upon seeing the blue jackal-headed man.

"I think I am still alive!" Joey exclaimed, "Sow why the afterlife?"

"Joey! Anubis is the god representing mummification and the afterlife!" Phoebe exclaimed, as every team took their places from behind a table.

"Guys, shush, he's speaking!" Monica shushed all of them.

"Welcome to Mummy," the jackal-headed man spoke in an impressively grand yet eerie voice, "You will actually be making a real mummy, today. Not human, mind you. Inside the plastic tubs in front of you is actually a cat that has been preserved in a special mixture of natron salt. All the instructions regarding the creation of the mummy are on your table. If you have any questions, you may ask me or my fellow gods and goddesses during the task. After you complete all the tasks, call one of us over, and if we are satisfied, you may proceed further along your journey. Good luck."

"Oh my god! That's actually a dead cat!" The high pitched whine of Arianna could be heard by everyone in the room.

"Eww!" Her partner acknowledged.

"Honey, don't pay attention to them," Monica reminded her husband and pulled out the instruction sheet.

"Take out the cat," Chandler looked at the instructions, "Look, here's some gloves." Chandler handed a pair of surgical gloves to Monica and put on a pair himself.

Monica nodded as she took the gloves and slipped them on. She wrinkled her nose in distaste at the smell of preserved cat and plunged her hands into the natron-salt mixture filled tub and took out the drenched cat. She set it on the table.

"What's next?" Monica asked her husband.

"Cut as indicated by the diagram with the surgical tools in front of you. Remove the lungs, the intestines, the stomach and the liver and place them into the salt bath." Chandler read.

"This is starting to feel like Biology class," Monica remarked as she observed the diagram on the instruction sheet.

"Performing a dissection, basically," Chandler added, handing his wife a large scalpel.

"Looks pretty straightforward," Monica placed her tool against the chest of the cat and started to cut a large slit from the chest to the stomach at the center of the cat. She grinned to herself – she was pretty professional at cutting up things by now.

At the table beside Monica and Chandler, Phoebe and Joey had removed their dead cat out of the bin and Phoebe had also started to cut the cat.

"Boy is this one smelly cat!" Joey remarked to Phoebe.

"Yeah, maybe I should write a song about this one!" Phoebe grinned in response, her scalpel in the middle of the cat's torso.

"Really?" Joey looked at her with interest.

"Maybe something like this – Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they doing to you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, you are being mummified. You were obviously their favourite pet, and now you have no need for the vet." Phoebe composed as she cut.

"That's brilliant, Phoebs!" Joey exclaimed.

"Yeah, one of my finer creations," Phoebe removed the scalpel from the torso, "Boy did those free med school lessons I took ever come in handy!"

"Free?" Joey asked her sceptically.

"Oh, you know, I just slipped in one day during my hobo days," Phoebe replied.

"I see. " Joey gave Phoebe a slightly weird look.

**R/|\R**

"This is so exhausting, Ross!" Rachel grumbled as they removed one of the logs from the back of the block to the front.

"I know! We've barely done this for ten minutes, and I am drenched!" Ross groaned.

"And it feels like that we haven't gone anywhere!" Rachel sighed.

Ross and Rachel heaved their log up and moved to the front of their block. The two of them grabbed the ropes that were tied to the blocks and pulled.

"One, two, three!" Rachel counted.

They pulled again.

"One, two, three!" Ross yelled out.

They threw all their weight into the pull. Another pull later, the block slowly inched its way to the log that they had just set out. Both Ross and Rachel placed their hand against the cool, but warming up piece of limestone and panted.

"Well, at least no one else is ahead of us," Rachel looked around.

"But no one is behind us either – all neck-to-neck," Ross sighed.

"This is going to take hours!" Rachel groaned.

"I know!" Ross walked over to the far end and Rachel joined him. They removed another log and transferred it to the front.

"This is absolutely bananas!" Rachel grumbled as they started to pull again.

**M/|\J ~ P/|\J**

"So here are the lungs," Monica cut out the lungs from the cat and placed them into her husband's hands.

"Never thought I'd see the day where my wife is giving me organs," Chandler quipped as he moved the pink tissues into the tub.

"And I suppose this is the liver?" Monica pointed to some smooth, red organ close to the stomach.

"Yeah," Chandler watched as Monica severed the liver from its surroundings.

"Here," Monica presented Chandler with the liver.

"Just what I needed," Chandler grinned and he placed the liver alongside with the lungs.

Monica cut out the stomach next, which Chandler dutifully placed in the tub. She dealt with the intestines next. She pulled them slowly out of the cat.

"You know honey, that kind of reminds me of a very long worm," Chandler observed.

"Chandler, let's not make this anymore gross than necessary," Monica reprimanded.

Chandler grinned. "On a scale of one to ten on the grossness scale, I think we hit negative numbers."

"Oh stop talking and help me!"

"Kay!" Chandler helped Monica pull out the intestines. A metre or two of intestines later, they finally got the entire thing out.

"And it's all slimy too!" Chandler remarked as soon as the intestines were out, and in the tub with the rest of the organs.

"Enough! Let's not talk about how nasty this is, and move on – what's next?" Monica gave her husband an exasperated look.

Back at Phoebe and Joey's table, they had just finished removing the organs. Joey had happily pulled out the intestines, marvelling at how long they were and Phoebe had done the rest. She looked down, giving her slimy gut-covered gloves a look of distaste and read the next instruction.

"Pack the insides of the cat with cotton, so it can maintain its shape, and sew it up with the needle and thread together."

Joey handed Phoebe a whole bunch of cotton and Phoebe stuffed it in. After several more handfuls of cotton, the cat looked similar to what it looked like before the organs were removed.

"You know how to sew right?" Joey asked his partner.

"Of course!" Phoebe expertly threaded the thread through the eye of the needle and starting stitching away.

"Thank god you are my partner Phoebs, I would be totally lost without you," Joey grinned.

"Hell yeah, Joey Tribbiani – you can do a lot worse than Phoebe Buffay!"

**M/|\C ~ P/|\J**

"So what's next?" Monica asked Chandler when she had managed to sew the cut together.

"Place the two finger amulet over the sewn up area and paint the entire body with resin." Chandler read. Monica reached for a bucket labelled resin and her husband reached for the paintbrushes that were provided alongside with the bucket. Chandler dipped his brush into the sticky substance and began painting over the cat. Monica noticed a gray thing in the shape of two fingers and turned to her husband.

"This is the two-finger amulet?"

"Looks like it – place it over the cut," Chandler replied, making his brushstrokes quite broad to cover over more surface area of the cat.

Monica placed the gray amulet over the cut and joined her husband in brushing the cat with resin. She insisted on an up and down stroke, which Chandler immediately remedied – he knew better to argue over small things like this – since Monica liked things done a certain way.

After brushing on a coat of resin over the entire body of the cat, the pair looked at the next instruction together – wrap cat in all the linen provided.

"Bandages!" Joey's yell could be heard all throughout the room, "And they aren't sticky!"

"Joey, that's why we got the sticky stuff on first!" Phoebe explained.

For the most part, during the entire detour – the room had remained quiet as everyone tried their best to efficiently complete the tasks at hand. Plus the rather ancient atmosphere made everyone want to work in respective quiet. The supervisors paced up and down the tables – alongside with an Anubis dressed man, there was Ra the sun god – who had a falcon mask, Osiris, god of the underworld, who had no mask, but the symbols of royalty – the crook and the flail in his hands and Horus – a god with the hawk's head. Meredith and Kenneth were still struggling with the sewing – none of them knew how to do it. Arianna and her friend were still at the cutting parts – both too grossed out and muttering expletives under their breath every time they came into contact with the dead cat. And Gilbert and Skye were wrapping up the cat in linen.

Monica and Chandler were busy wrapping up their cat with the many feet of linen that they were provided with. It was a difficult process due to the stickiness of the resin – causing the cat to be stuck on the table. But they ploughed through without too many complaints – even when their gloves got stuck to the cat.

"Let's just say, I am never doing this again," Chandler remarked, after un-sticking the cat again for at least the tenth time.

"This time, I totally agree with you," Monica wrapped the cloth around and around the cat's abdomen, "This is a onetime thing."

"And I totally want my mummy!" Chandler exclaimed.

"No you don't," Monica gave Chandler an exasperated look.

"No, I really don't. Not my mommy," Chandler thought about it for a second, "But you know, I can't resist making very bad puns."

"Yeah, and I still married you," Monica teased.

"I don't think you married me for my puns," Chandler grinned.

"Hm... I actually don't know why I married you," Monica smirked.

"Was it for my money? My looks? The great sex?" Chandler asked.

"A little louder honey, I don't think everyone quite heard you," Monica winked.

"Aha! My jokes are rubbing off on you, aren't they?" Chandler smirked back at his wife.

"Oh crap. They are!" Monica exclaimed in mock horror as she and Chandler started mummifying the cat's head.

**P/|\J**

"So here we are, one mummy," Joey surveyed their hard work with an appreciative eye.

"Yup, I think we put the mask on, now," Phoebe replied back as she picked up a golden mask with a cat face painted on it.

"Good idea," Joey tilted the cat slightly up so Phoebe could slip the surprisingly heavy mask on to the head of the cat.

"I think we are done," Phoebe grinned.

"Not quite yet, what about the other stuff?" Joey pointed to the organs in the tray.

Phoebe looked at the tray, and then at the instructions.

"Oh crap, you are right!" Phoebe exclaimed, "We've got to put them into the canopic jars!"

"The what jars?" Joey looked confused.

"Canopic, there's four different types, one for each organ, Joey. And I think they are in that box over there – could you get four different ones, Joey?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah sure," Joey walked towards the box that Phoebe had indicated and looked through it. He took two jars, one in each arm back to Phoebe. He repeated the journey and brought back the other two.

"Okay, so the liver goes inside the one with the human head," Phoebe looked up from her paper.

"Who's the human?" Joey asked as he opened the mentioned jar, while Phoebe scooped up the cat liver and placed it in.

"It's Isis, she protects the liver," Phoebe read from the instruction sheet.

"Cool, and what about this one?" Joey opened another jar; this one had a baboon as a lid.

"Lungs," Phoebe picked up the spongy tissue from the tray and handed it to Joey who gingerly tucked them into the next jar.

"And the falcon," Joey reached for the jar with the falcon-head.

"The intestines, Joey can you help me?" Phoebe asked her partner. Together, Joey and Phoebe carefully lowered the long intestines into the jar.

"And I suppose this dog-headed one is for the stomach," Joey reflected after a few moments.

"Yeah!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Looks like we are done! Hey god-guy!" Joey waved to one of the supervisors nearby.

The Anubis dressed man walked over towards them and inspected their work with a critical eye. He felt up the mummy, making sure that the amulet had been tucked in. He then peeked into each one of their canopic jars.

"It's a good job for first-timers. Here's your next clue."

Phoebe and Joey gave each other a high-five and grabbed their envelopes gleefully, after shedding their disposable gloves.

**M/|\C**

"Well, I think we are too acquainted with Ancient Egyptian traditions, now," Chandler remarked to Monica as they received their next clue.

"Yeah, we can totally go back into Old Egypt and work as mummifers," Monica grinned.

"So what does the clue say?" Chandler inquired, "The pit-stop?"

Monica tore open the envelope. "Head out to the Pyramid site, where the flags are. There will be camels waiting for you there. Travel by camel to the next pit-stop, following the route marked out on the map provided."

"What a vague map!" Chandler exclaimed, "Looks like we are trekking through the desert!"

"Yeah, let's go!"

Monica and Chandler exited the chamber via the stone steps at the corner of the room, in search of the Pyramid site.

**R/|\R**

"Oh my god! We are almost there!" Rachel grimaced as she and Ross strained against their block, hoping fervently that it would just move. The block slowly moved forward, and they fell gasping into the sand.

"Tell me about it," Ross groaned. He had never been so physically drained in his life. It was approaching noon now, and he and Rachel had been at the detour for almost four hours. They had taken several breaks during the task, when they noticed that other teams were doing that. The hot mid-day sun had arrived, and they were all sweating buckets throughout the task. The humidity didn't help matters much.

"Three more logs should do it," Rachel brushed the sand off her clothes.

They pulled the block twice more, when they saw four figures running behind them.

"Oh my god! It's Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey!" They could hear Harry shout. Harry and Patrick were probably four logs behind Ross and Rachel.

"Shit! Better get a move on!" They could hear other teams murmuring from behind them.

Rachel and Ross determinedly placed the last log they needed to haul their block into the designated location. With great effort, they threw themselves forward, trying to drag the block on to the last log, and off the raft of logs.

By this time, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey had reached the camels and their Arab handlers, dressed in lightly coloured cloths and turbans, waiting patiently for their riders.

"Ross! Let's go!" Rachel yelled as soon as she received the clue from the supervisor.

Ross followed Rachel, and they ran over to the camels. The man in the turban gave the camel a subtle tug, so that it could lie down. He then gestured the pair to get on the camel. Rachel got on and Ross slowly followed suit. The camel stood up again, and Rachel found herself wrinkling at the smell of camel. Ross observed the map, which had a few landmarks written down. It was clear that the camel handler spoke no English, so Ross found himself pointing the direction that they were supposed to go.

"Isn't this surreal, the six of us on camels, in a desert – all covered with sand!" Rachel exclaimed to Ross – Monica and Chandler as well as Phoebe and Joey were several metres in front of them. Harry and Patrick's camel pulled up beside them.

"Hey fellows, isn't this a relief from all the pulling we did earlier?" Patrick grinned.

"Yeah, it sure is!" Ross replied back, removing a cloth from his shorts' pocket and wiping the river of sweat from his face and neck.

"We should have done Mummy, the people who did it look really not tired," Harry replied back.

"Do you think we can chase after the front camels?" Rachel inquired Ross.

"I dunno, Rach," Ross sighed.

"Excuse me!" Rachel called down to the handler, "Do you think we can move a little faster?"

The man looked blankly at her. Ross pointed furiously at the camels at front. "Catch them!"

"Catch?" The man replied, bemusedly.

"Oh never mind," Rachel sighed, but the man must have gotten something from the exchange because he got the camel from walking to a slight trot.

"See ya, guys!" Ross waved at Harry and Patrick, who were lagging behind.

**M/|\C**

"Wow, we've been riding this camel for like," Chandler glanced at his watch quickly, "Forty-five minutes!"

"I know! At least we saw three of the landmarks on the map! That funny shaped rock, that crumbly broken temple and that other house," Monica sighed. She then turned her head to view the people behind them. Ross and Rachel were gaining on them, followed closely by Harry and Patrick.

"Oh no, they are catching up!" Monica yelled in dismay.

"Nothing we can do about it," Chandler sighed, "Excuse me, but could you move a little bit faster?"

The man leading the camel continued his brisk walk – without hurrying.

"Well, honey, at least we won't be last," Monica sighed again.

"Hey guys, bye guys!" Rachel yelled as their camel overtook their camel.

"Same here!" Patrick waved. And the two camels went to go catch Joey and Phoebe's camel that had slowed down quite a bit during the last five minutes.

"Who knew that we would be having camel races in the middle of Egypt?" Chandler mused.

"Certainly not me!" Monica grinned despite watching Ross and Rachel's and Harry and Patrick's camel overtake Phoebe and Joey's for the lead.

**R/|\R**

"Whew! Look, there's the mat!" Rachel cried out after a turn.

"Yeah! Maybe it's our turn to be first this time!" Ross exclaimed.

"Yahoo! It's Phil!" Patrick cried out.

A few metres away from the mat, both camels stopped, and Ross and Rachel, Patrick and Harry dismounted from their respective camels and ran as fast as they could in the sand to the pit-stop. Rachel had her eyes directly on the pit stop and ran determinedly. The two teams were tied throughout the run until Rachel found herself slipping on the sand a metre away from the stop.

"Oh no!" Rachel fell into the sand. Ross immediately stopped running to help her up. The twins ran easily onto the mat.

"Welcome to Luxor, Egypt," A young girl wearing a traditional Egyptian tunic greeted the twins.

"Thank you," the twins answered back – with big smiles.

"Patrick and Harry, you guys are team number one! Congratulations!" Phil beamed at the two competitors. Harry and Patrick immediately turned towards each other and fell into a brotherly hug and a high five.

"Damn it!" Rachel groaned, "Should have been us!"

Ross sighed, "It's alright Rach, there's always tomorrow!"

Rachel nodded a little sadly, and the two of them walked onto the mat.

"Welcome to Luxor, Egypt!" The lady looked sympathetically at the couple, who murmured their thanks back.

"Ross and Rachel, you guys are team number two. That was a close one, wasn't it?" Phil asked.

"Yeah, we could have been first today," Rachel sighed.

"Oh well, we will be first tomorrow!" Ross replied optimistically.

"Oh yeah!" Rachel dropped her gloomy expression, "Plus, we are team number two today! Sure beats being fifth!"

"So what did you guys think about that Pyramid detour?"

"Exhausting. I have no idea how the ancient Egyptians managed the feat without modern machinery," Harry replied.

"I'd hate to be a worker back then!" Rachel sighed, "But at least, they only employed men back then."

"Forced labour," Ross amended.

"It was brutal," Patrick admitted, "Sure, when we started, we were like, sure we can do this. But then the sun started rising higher and higher, and the heat started to get worse. So we all took a lot of breaks under the shade of our block. Thank god for sunscreen!"

"And good thing we had water," Ross added, "We would have withered like dry grass in that heat. It's still hot now, but the breeze generated by the camel was pretty good."

"Alright guys, you can go cool down in the tents that we have set up over there. Congratulations again on your achievements. And Harry and Patrick, you guys win an all expenses paid trip to Mexico City – you will get to go do some zip-lining, visit some magnificent ruins and try some of the finest Mexican food." Phil grinned excitedly.

"Alright! Mexico City!" Harry and Patrick high-fived again and Harry picked up his brother and swung him around.

"Okay, enough with the public displays of affection!" Patrick groaned when Harry returned him back to the ground.

**M/|\C ~ P/|\J**

"Oh my god, there's Phil!" Chandler exclaimed when their camel made a left turn, "With some girl that looked like she walked out of an Ancient Egyptian tomb painting."

"About time! I think I am getting camel-sick!" Monica groaned.

The camel made its way casually to the mat, where it bent down so Chandler and Monica could jog over to the pit-stop. In the distance, the couple could see Ross, Rachel, Patrick and Harry walk over towards the tents.

"We are third today," Chandler observed.

"Yup, but we were first yesterday, so it's all good!" Monica refused to look at the negative aspects.

"Welcome to Luxor, Egypt," the Egyptian girl greeted them, and handed them some bottled water.

"Thank you," Monica and Chandler smiled back at the girl.

"Monica and Chandler, you are team number three! Congratulations!" Phil beamed.

Chandler turned to kiss his wife and hug her in a firm embrace.

"So you guys are arguably one of the most successful teams on this season's race – so what makes you guys so, you know, successful?" Phil inquired.

"I guess that we, my wife and I have known each other for over a decade – most of it as friends – so we know how to work together. I know what makes her tick, and she knows how I work – and together we are pretty unstoppable," Chandler grinned.

"Yeah. I know I am a perfectionist – but I've learned to keep my criticisms to myself, because it drives everyone crazy!" Monica added, "But we did do a lot of extensive preparation for the race – so we are prepared, for almost everything!"

"Well, let's see how you guys will fare in the next legs to come!"

At this moment, Phoebe and Joey dashed onto the mat.

"Tada!" Phoebe and Joey sprang up and down on the mat.

"Welcome to Luxor, Egypt," the girl repeated her greeting.

"Phoebe and Joey, you guys are team number four! Congratulations on your achievement!"

Phoebe and Joey gave Phil each a high-five and a hug.

"So what slowed you guys down today?" Phil asked.

"Definitely the camel – it got tired during the last fifteen minutes and Harry and Patrick, Ross and Rachel and Monica and Chandler overtook us," Joey replied, turning his head towards the offending camel.

"Yeah, luck wasn't on our side today," Phoebe observed, "But it will get better."

"Alright then, into the tents you guys go!" Phil gestured towards the cluster of set up tents.

**M/|\C ~ R/|\R ~ P/|\J**

"My god! Why is the wind suddenly so strong!" Joey looked fearfully outside one of the plastic windows of the tent.

"It's a sandstorm, Joey!" Phoebe sighed, listening to the fearful howls of wind outside their tent.

"I just hope it won't blow us away," Chandler and Monica were sitting at one corner of the spacious tent.

"Yeah," Rachel sighed, "Pity about the teams who haven't arrived yet."

"And it was so calm this morning and afternoon too!" Ross observed.

"A freak windstorm," Harry observed.

"Sandstorm, in this case, Harry," Patrick amended.

"Well, at least it didn't happen yesterday, when we were all camping out in the open," Rachel sighed, trying not to picture a sandstorm happening yesterday night.

"That's true," Harry replied back, "We would be, like..."

"Let's not mention it. Sand without wind is terrible enough," Patrick sighed.

"Well, let's hope it stops soon! I just hope it doesn't bury us alive!" Joey looked fearfully out the window.


	5. Is it Possible to get Frostbite?

_A/N: AH! I am late! By a day! But this leg is long – and quite amusing. I hope that detour from last week's episode didn't put you off – but I needed something nasty to balance out the strenuous block detour. Thanks guys for your kind reviews. _

_And for those of you who are interested, you can actually watch most of the seasons, if not all, of The Amazing Race on YouTube. I personally like season seventeen, thirteen and a few other ones that I don't remember. _

_Please review! Reviews equal happy plot bunnies which equal more productivity – thanks in advance :)_

_This week's episode is brought to you by Google and Microsoft Word – thank god for the auto-save – my computer shut itself down when I was writing this and I forgot to save. _

_See you next Sunday – or Monday – sometime next week!_

* * *

><p><strong>The Amazing Race: Friends Edition (4<strong>**th**** Leg) – "Is it possible to get frostbite on your ass?" – Patrick **

**R/|\R**

"Whew, I thought that sandstorm would never blow over," Harry remarked to his brother, Ross and Rachel, who were all sitting patiently on the mat decorated with the map of the world.

Unlike the past twenty or so hours, the desert stretching out in front of the two teams was calm, but the humidity and hotness of the Egyptian climate had returned. Rachel and Patrick were fanning themselves with pieces of cardboard that they had found in the tents. Ross took a sip of water from a canteen.

"Wonder where we are going today? Somewhere nice and cool, I hope," Ross removed the towel from his bag and wiped his sweaty forehead with it.

"Hopefully," Rachel sighed, "And no more hard labour! My arms and legs are still dying from that detour."

"Ours too," Harry groaned, "Thank goodness for this sandstorm, or there's no way we would be here with only twelve hours of rest."

Ross nodded. His own limbs were still sore – not to mention that his back was killing him.

"You reckon we should go?" Patrick asked the group, "Only less than thirty seconds left."

"Yeah," Rachel slung her bag over her shoulders, and the other three followed suit.

"Kay," Ross and Harry walked over to the clue-box that had been set up and opened the lid. This was followed by the ripping sounds of the envelopes and the four of them leaned over to read, simultaneously.

"Walk over to the Valley of the Kings, using the map provided and search for Site KV11, where your next route marker will be found. Fifty dollars have been provided for this leg of the race."

"My god, more walking in the scorching weather?" Harry complained.

"Let's go then, or we can always leave you behind," Rachel grinned.

"Alright then."

The four of them set off.

**M/|\C ~ P/|\J**

"Yahoo! Leg number four!" Phoebe exclaimed cheerily when she got onto the mat.

"I know!" Monica exclaimed.

"Boy is it hot!" Chandler complained.

"Oh yeah, I bet if you crack an egg open here, it would just..." Joey trailed off.

"Sizzle!" Phoebe finished.

"Sizzle?" Joey looked questioningly at his teammate.

"Oh yeah, you know, cook. And then you can eat it!" Phoebe elaborated.

"I wish I had an egg," Joey mumbled dejectedly.

"I have one word for you Joey," Chandler replied.

Joey looked at Chandler, "And what's that?"

"Breakfast!" Chandler exclaimed, "Barely half an hour ago!"

"Oh right," Joey grumbled.

Monica reached over to the clue-box for the clue.

"Looks like we are walking!" she exclaimed.

"And we have to catch up with Ross and Rachel and those goddamned twins!" Phoebe added, with a little fire to her voice.

"Yeah, how did they just like, sneak out in front like that!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Oh yeah, we are going to be so efficient that they wouldn't even know what hit them!" Monica clapped her hands together.

"Oh yeah!" Joey added.

"Yeah, let's go!" Phoebe had ripped open her envelope and the four of them headed off in the direction that Ross, Rachel, Harry and Patrick had gone off less than fifteen minutes ago.

**R/|\R**

At least almost an hour later, Ross, Rachel, Harry and Patrick were sweating in front of the entrance of the Valley of the Kings. After paying for admission, the four of them walked as briskly as they could in the sand, in search of the indicated site. Rachel had picked up a map of the all the tombs, and Ross was examining said map.

"Okay, so we need to go straight along this path, past KV61," Ross whispered to Rachel as the twins went on without them.

"Yeah, but where are the markers?" Rachel looked around.

"That's KV38, come on!" Ross gently pulled Rachel by the shirt sleeve, forward. The pair dashed frantically after the twins, who had a few seconds head start.

"Fourteen, Thirteen!" Ross and Rachel heard Harry and Patrick calling out the numbers as they ran down the path.

"Twenty-nine, sixty-one! Ross, do we turn?" Rachel pointed to one of the paths of a two-pronged fork.

"No, dead ahead!" Ross grabbed Rachel's hand and they ran straight.

**M/|\C**

"Chandler! Keep running! I see eleven!" Monica, who was a few metres ahead of her husband, called out.

"Okay, but I am dying!" Chandler groaned.

The pair had managed to lose Phoebe and Joey somewhere around the tombs, but neither of them were worried. A minute later, Monica had reached the clue-box and Chandler was behind her, gasping, while trying to remove the sweat from his face with his hands. Monica reached for a clue from the box and read aloud.

"Welcome to the tomb of Ramses the Third. Your next task is to enter the tomb, and search the chambers for a brown rucksack tied with a red ribbon. A reminder to be respectful to the dead for you do not want to trigger any curses!"

"Wow, spooky," Chandler remarked as he looked down the flight of stone-hewn steps that descended into a black hole.

"I know. Let's go down there! Phoebe and Joey should be here, any minute!" Monica eagerly dragged her reluctant husband down the steps.

"I just hope there aren't any ghosts or undead things crawling about!" Chandler grumbled to his wife.

"Psh. There's nothing scary down there!" Monica reassured.

"Right," Chandler replied, with a smidgeon of sarcasm.

When the two of them reached the bottom of the steps, they saw a large opening, carved from stone. A carving of a sun disc, with a scarab and a ram-headed deity adorned the beam on top of the entrance, along with two cow-shaped pilasters placed on both sides of the opening – rather like guards.

The tomb was dimly lit, and Chandler found himself taking a deep breath before taking the first step into the tomb. The walls were painted with scenes that he didn't understand, yet fascinated him all the same. Monica found her eyes drawn towards the hieroglyphs that were painted alongside with the scenes – wondering what story or message they told.

They slowly made their way through the first corridor, pausing briefly to look at two chambers whose entrances were located mid-way through the corridor. One chamber had paintings of everyday Ancient Egyptian scenes, while the other depicted boats that were sailing on what was presumably the Nile. The chambers appeared to be vacant, so they pressed on.

Monica and Chandler found themselves walking into the second corridor. The air within the tomb appeared to be getting staler and staler – ancient air – as Chandler thought. The couple could recognize a few of the figures on the paintings of the walls here, including the god Anubis – who had presided over their detour from the day before. Monica could count eight openings in this particular corridor.

"You want to split up?" Monica asked her husband, quietly.

"No, I am afraid we are going to get lost – let's just stick together," Chandler replied.

"Alright then," Monica nodded. Even though she wasn't scared – she had to admit there was some eerie quality about being in this old tomb. She held onto her husband's hand and they took the time to survey the rooms. Each chamber was brilliantly painted.

"My god, are those harpists blind?" Chandler asked when he and Monica had entered a chamber featuring painted harpists playing for some deities.

"Sure looks like it," Monica scrutinized the painting, "It's not like they need to see."

"I wonder what they do with people who can't hear," Chandler remarked dryly before they exited the chamber.

"Get them to paint, probably," Monica whispered back.

The second corridor ended in a sharp right turn. The third corridor featured the same quality of art as seen from the first and second corridors, and led the couple to a room with grand pillars, and the floor of the chamber was slanted.

"Monica!" Chandler shouted-whispered.

"What?"

"Does that look like a sack to you?" Chandler pointed to a shadow in a chamber adjacent to the one that they were in.

"Yeah it does," Monica walked over to the spot that Chandler had indicated and picked up the object.

"I guess we can get out of here. The level of creepy is starting to make me freak out," Chandler exclaimed.

"Okay, let's go!"

**P/|\J**

"Damn it Phoebs!" Joey swore, "I knew something was wrong when Monica and Chandler were no longer behind us!"

"Sorry Joey, I misread the map. We have to turn back," Phoebe sighed.

The pair of them had turned the wrong way at the fork, and were now wandering around various other tombs that were not marked with the number eleven. Joey had noticed the error when the numbers showing up were not anywhere near the numbers close to KV 11.

"I hope we aren't too behind. I am starting to get a little hungry," Joey sighed.

"Oh Joey, when were you not hungry?" Phoebe exclaimed with exasperation, "And I am sorry about the map! It's just not our day today!"

"That's alright. I hope the people behind us haven't caught up," Joey looked very worried.

"Don't say anything! Isn't that Arlene and Yvonne that just walked past us?" Phoebe whispered to Joey.

"Yeah, looks like we aren't the only ones that screwed up," Joey nodded knowingly.

"Yeah," Phoebe replied.

"We aren't going to say anything?" Joey asked.

"No, there's nothing to say! We are in a race!" Phoebe whispered furiously, "And that money is mine – I mean – ours!"

"Alright then," Joey looked a little sorry at the sisters who were walking the wrong way, but immediately turned around to follow Phoebe.

**R/|\R**

"So that's that!" Rachel picked up one of the sacks near one of the roped off areas in the burial chamber – where a massive granite sarcophagus was at the center.

"Yeah, let's get out of here," Ross looked at the sarcophagus with interest and was slightly uncomfortable that there may or may not be a mummy in there – even though he was pretty sure Ramses the third wasn't in there.

"Kay,"

Ross and Rachel made their way back to the sloped room with the four pillars when all of a sudden,

"Boo!"

The couple literally jumped in fright and horror.

"Haha, got you there!" Harry grinned inanely from behind one of the pillars.

"Oh my god! You scared the freaking shit out of me!" Rachel replied.

"I was not scared," Ross hid himself behind a mask of indifference.

"Sure you weren't," Patrick smiled, "But we should get out of here, this place is giving me an odd feeling."

"Yeah, like some dead thousands of year old mummy is going to walk by," Harry headed towards the third corridor.

"And yell – " Patrick continued.

"Boo!"

"Ahhhhh!" All four of them flinched, before turning around to the source of the noise.

"Chandler!" Rachel yelled – in an annoyed fashion.

"So not cool," Harry frowned at Chandler who was hiding behind the pillar opposite of the one that Harry had been hiding behind earlier.

"Heh, but he got you guys pretty good, " Monica emerged from Chandler's hiding spot.

"Okay, I think that's enough fooling around with old Ramses's last resting spot. I mean if I were him –" Ross began to say, before a slight breeze began to start blowing around.

"Oh my god, did you feel that? Let's get out of here!" Chandler grabbed Monica and ran out.

"Ditto, let's scram!" Harry and Patrick ran after them.

"What a bunch of scaredy cats!" Rachel grinned, as she and Ross walked at a leisurely pace.

"Um, Rach? What's that moving shadow?" Ross pointed towards an opening to another chamber.

Rachel looked dubiously at the location, "I don't see anything."

"Seriously?" Ross pointed again.

Suddenly they heard the patter of feet from another chamber, and the two of them ran out of the corridor without another word – little knowing that Joey and Phoebe were looking through the chamber they just ran by.

**M/|\C**

"Whew, I don't think I want to be disturbing the rest of long-dead pharaohs anytime soon, again," Chandler remarked as soon as he and Monica had ran up the stairs and back out.

"Yeah, interesting experience though, and it was nice and cool down there, unlike up here," Monica replied back.

"So what's in the sack?" Chandler gestured towards the brown bag.

"I dunno, let's see," Monica removed the red ribbon from the sack and they peered in. She ended up removing the contents of the bag, which was six thin wooden pieces – each with a hieroglyph written on it.

"Oh damn, I don't recall them offering hieroglyph class in university," Chandler quipped.

"A pity," Monica replied rather dryly.

"Oh look, there's a piece of paper!" Chandler stuck his hand in the bottom of the bag.

"What does it say?" Monica exclaimed.

"Unscramble the letters provided to find out your next destination. When you have your answer, please return back to the main entrance of the Valley of the Kings, and tell your answer to this woman, who will give you your next marker. The woman's picture is below."

Chandler flipped the paper over.

"Oh look, there's a key at the back of this," Chandler grinned.

"Okay, so this bird thing is an A, and that other bird is a U." Monica took out the indicated tiles.

"And this line thing with two circles in the middle are S," Chandler handed her the two identical tiles.

"The leaf is an I and the last thing here is a R," Monica finished.

"So what does that spell?" Chandler laid out the tiles, while Monica got out a pen from her bag and wrote on the paper provided.

"I don't know," Monica continued writing.

"Since we are going somewhere, and probably it's a country. A lot of places end with A, so we can stick that there. Actually you know what, we are going to –" Chandler mused.

"Russia, baby!" Harry's voice was heard by everyone within a ten-foot circle, followed by his twin's frantic attempts to shush his brother.

"Russia," Chandler finished, rather dryly.

"Let's go then, any minute gained is good for us," Monica began pulling Chandler towards the path they came from earlier.

**P/|\J**

"So what's the loot, Phoebs?" Joey asked as they ascended the staircase back to the outside world.

"I dunno, Joey – hopefully something that's helpful," Phoebe replied back.

"Lemme see!" Joey took the bag from Phoebe and undid the knot.

"Oooh! Wood!" Joey grinned at Phoebe.

"Really? With hieroglyphs!" Phoebe exclaimed when Joey took out the six pieces of wood.

"What do we do with these?" Joey looked at his partner questioningly.

"I bet it's trying to tell us something, Joey," Phoebe said.

"Yeah, that's a safe bet! What does it say?"

"I have absolutely no clue," Phoebe scratched her head.

"Really?" Joey asked.

"Nope, nothing from the past is coming into mind either," Phoebe frowned.

"How did everyone else figure it out?" Joey mused.

"You mean Monica, Chandler, Harry, Patrick, Ross and Rachel?" Phoebe counted on her fingers.

"Yeah," Joey replied back.

"Well, I don't know," Phoebe sighed, while reorganizing the tiles in various orders, hoping that something would come up.

"Oh look, there's Skye and Gilbert!" Joey pointed at the older couple who was making their way out from the tomb.

"Hey guys? What's in the bag?" Gilbert walked over to them.

"Hieroglyphs," Phoebe replied.

"Really?" Gilbert fished out his tiles from his bag.

"Oh Gilbert, you forgot something!" Skye fumbled with the sack after Gilbert had removed the tiles. She pulled out a piece of paper.

"Oh so I did!" Gilbert grinned at his wife.

"Phoebe! The paper!" Joey exclaimed.

"Oh no! We are so stupid!" Phoebe groaned, while removing the paper from the sack.

"That's alright, I didn't think of it either!" Joey reassured Phoebe.

"Okay, so we have R, A, I, S, U and S," Phoebe quickly jotted down the letters on a piece of paper – both articles had been retrieved from her bag.

"So what does that make?" Joey looked at the letters cryptically, "Raisins?"

"Joey! Stop thinking about food!" Phoebe smacked him on the back.

"Oh sorry, Phoebs, you know the brain is ruled by the stomach!" Joey rubbed his belly fondly.

"Plus, you can't make raisins from this!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Damn!"

"Oh, I know! It's Russia!" Phoebe thought for a moment.

"R-U-S-S-I-A!" Joey spelled out. "You are right, it is Russia!"

"Okay, we already wasted so much time! Let's go!" Joey and Phoebe ran towards the front entrance.

**R/|\R**

"So, what's the secret word?" A woman dressed in a tank-top and a pair of camouflage patterned shorts asked Ross and Rachel as they approached the front entrance.

"Russia," Ross whispered back.

"Congratulations, here's your next clue!" The woman handed over a yellow envelope, which Rachel promptly took. She ripped the envelope.

"Your scorching adventure is at an end. Fly north to St. Petersburg, Russia and head off to the Yubileyny Sports Palace."

"Whew, nice to see the end of this heat wave," Rachel grinned at Ross.

"Come on! There are taxis over here!" Ross was already attempting to wave down some taxis that were dropping off tourists.

"Alright, Ross!" Rachel ran to her boyfriend, who at this point had a taxi. They placed their bags into the back and settled at the back seats of the old car.

"Luxor International!" Ross exclaimed enthusiastically at the cabbie, which then drove off.

**M/|\C**

"So are you sure we got the earliest flight out of here?" Chandler asked his wife, when they were sitting at the gate.

"Yeah, after all, we went through practically all the travel agencies and we checked all the departure information," Monica looked at their boarding passes, "We still have to wait a long time."

"The plane doesn't leave until eight!" Chandler sighed.

"I know, and it's kinda weird that no one is here!" Monica looked around the area.

"It's still early," Chandler looked at his watch, "It's barely four!"

"Hey guys!" Chandler and Monica turned around and saw the twins walking towards them.

"Eight o'clock to St. Petersburg?" Patrick inquired.

"Yeah," Chandler nodded.

"Limited seating apparently – the lady told me there was less than six seats left when we got our tickets," Harry informed.

"That's nice, so some people are going to be left behind," Monica smiled.

"Monica! Chandler! Harry! Patrick!" Rachel's voice made all four turn around.

"Hey guys!" Patrick greeted, followed by everyone else.

"Aren't you guys glad that we are leaving for cooler temperatures?" Ross asked everyone.

"Hell yeah!" Harry exclaimed.

"Oh, definitely," Monica replied back.

"And I have a feeling that I am bringing some of that sand with me to Russia," Chandler quipped.

"Oh, I think we all are," Patrick nodded knowingly, "Wretched sand!"

"And I hope wherever we are stopping next, there's a laundry machine!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Already out of fresh clothes? It's only been barely a week!" Patrick counted.

"Well, I heard that you can always roll your clothes in the sand – that's one easy method!" Harry grinned.

"You must be kidding!" Rachel exclaimed with disdain.

**P/|\J**

"Joey! We've got to stop spending money on food!" Phoebe exclaimed when Joey bought his fifth falafel pita sandwich from a food stand in the airport.

"But, Phoebs! I am hungry!" Joey complained, while taking a bite of his new sandwich, "Plus this Egyptian stuff is good!"

"But we are going to run out of money if we keep buying like ten sandwiches at every sandwich shop you see!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"But, then I will be hungry!" Joey folded his arms across his chest.

"Seriously Joey, we spend like a third of our money on food! What are we going to do about the taxi fares and other stuff? Phoebe countered.

Joey found himself deep in thought. "Damn it! You are right Phoebs – I will just think of all the sandwiches that I can buy when we have the one million dollars," Joey sighed.

"That's right Joey," Phoebe smiled encouragingly.

"Okay, let's go to the gate – keep you away from all this temptation!" Phoebe dragged Joey away from the food cart.

**M/|\C**

Nine hours later, in the hours of dawn, the plane descended down the runway at Pulkovo II International Airport. Everyone had spent the majority of the time in the air asleep – or in the case of Joey, trying to hit on all the female flight attendants in order to get some food out of them. He was moderately successful, and had acquired a stash of peanuts – for emergencies.

"Aren't they cute?" Harry asked Patrick, while pointing across the aisle to Monica and Chandler who were sleeping on each others' shoulders.

"Yeah, but they are a couple, look over there!" Patrick pointed to Arlene and Yvonne, who had managed to catch up despite their mistake earlier.

"Pity we don't have a camera," Harry remarked, "Blackmailing would be excellent."

"Oh look, we have docked at the terminal, let's get moving!" Patrick deftly undid his seatbelt and removed his and his brother's bag from the overhead compartment.

On the other side of the aisle, Chandler woke up when he heard the twins' conversation about leaving, and he gently shook Monica awake. "Mon, we gotta leave now!"

"What?" she muttered sleepily.

"Russia! We are here!" Chandler whispered.

Monica opened her eyes, and stretched out her cramped arms, legs, back and neck. She quickly unbuckled her own seatbelt, and she and Chandler fetched their bags before following Harry and Patrick out of the plane. Customs went by pretty quickly and the teams who were on the plane scrambled frantically around, looking for a taxi to take them to the sports facility.

The pair eventually found a vacant taxi, and after a brief discussion with the taxi-driver, the driver drove them through St. Petersburg, where they both admired the old-traditional buildings.

"Wow, all the buildings here are quite squat!" Chandler observed, after noticing very little tall buildings.

"Yeah, most of it is pretty short, but it's all really elegant, with columns and things," Monica replied back.

"Feels like we are in the past or something," Chandler remarked, "You know – the days of kings and queens."

"Yeah, I see what you mean – with imperial palaces with princes or princesses!" Monica nodded.

"That's not all in the past though," Chandler smiled.

"Yeah?" Monica looked at her husband curiously.

"I found my princess," he replied.

"Did you? Have I met her?" Monica grinned, with an impish smile.

"Oh definitely," Chandler smirked.

"And who might that be?"Monica asked.

"Oh, you know," Chandler replied, nonchalantly.

"No, I don't know," Monica retorted.

"Do I really need to spell this out?"

"Yeah, I think you better."

"Well, she's the most beautiful woman that I've ever met."

"Really?" Monica gave Chandler a sceptical look.

"And her name starts with the letter M, and she's got all these interesting quirks –" Chandler continued but after looking at his wife's expression, he quickly added, "That I love."

"Hm... Sounds awfully familiar," Monica mused.

"It's you!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Really? You are definitely my prince!" Monica grinned.

"I better be," Chandler replied back.

"Oh you definitely are."

**R/|\R**

"So, here we are, the Sports Palace," Ross stood outside the enormous sports facility with Rachel, in front of the clue-box.

"Yeah," Rachel walked over to the clue-box and retrieved one of the envelopes, "So here goes nothing!" She ripped it.

"Intersection: Team up with another team and skate a five thousand metre relay. Once completed, the referee will give you your next clue. Your skating gear is located in your respective change room. If you are the last three teams to arrive, you will have to do a seven thousand-five hundred metre relay with all six members. Good luck!"

"Five thousand metres! You are kidding me!" Ross exclaimed.

"That's a whole lot of skating!" Rachel remarked back.

"Fortunately we can both skate – but five thousand metres?" Ross mused, "This is crazy!"

"This is the Amazing Race," Rachel remarked dryly.

"Wonder who we are skating with," Ross wondered.

"Ross! Rachel!" Joey's voice was heard from a few metres away.

"Hey guys!" Phoebe cheerfully dashed up to the box.

"So what are you guys waiting for?" Joey asked.

"Just open the envelope, you will see!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Kay," Joey opened the envelope.

"Intersection! That hasn't been done in ages on the show!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"I know!" Ross replied back.

"So are we going to do it together?" Rachel got back to business.

"Well, we have no choice – let's go!" Phoebe marched into the facility. The other three followed her, wondering how the hell were they going to skate 5 000 metres as quickly as possible.

**M/|\C**

"I hope you guys know how to skate!" Harry eyed Chandler and Monica with a dubious eye.

"Oh, I can," Chandler grinned, "I've only been skating like twenty years."

"Don't worry, I can do this too!" Monica added.

"Ready to blow the competition out of the water?" Patrick inquired, while tying up his skates on the bleachers surrounding the enormous Olympic sized ice rink.

"Oh yeah!" Monica opened one of the doors to the rink and went on the ice.

Chandler went over to join his wife on the rink. "Wow, we haven't skated in ages!" He remarked.

"Yeah, it's been awhile," Monica grinned while skating circles around her husband.

"I can even do this!" Chandler executed a figure eight.

"Oh wow!" Harry applauded from behind the stands, "Fancy tricks are definitely going to win us this race!"

"Okay guys, my skates are tied!" Patrick brushed past his brother and joined the couple on the rink.

"So I guess that we have to spread ourselves out, and get the baton from the referee," Monica said.

"Oh yeah, I will get the stick, be right back!" Patrick glided effortlessly to the referee standing in the centre of the rink.

**P/|\J ~ R/|\R**

"Oh my, isn't this what the Olympic skaters wore during speed skating, Ross?" Rachel asked when their team emerged from the change rooms.

"Yeah, it's a bit tight – like those leather trousers," Ross shuddered.

"Oh yeah! And how you had to leave that girl's apartment starkers!" Rachel grinned.

"For your information – it wasn't starkers – it was just sans pants," Ross defended himself.

Rachel couldn't contain her laughter.

"Guys, are you ready?" Phoebe exclaimed from the rink, where Monica, Chandler, Harry and Patrick were already furiously skating out the metres.

"Yeah, haven't skated in awhile," Rachel sighed as she walked over to the rink.

"Me too. I hope I can still do it!" Ross placed his feet tentatively on the ice.

"Well, it's sink or swim here, so you better be able to!" Phoebe replied.

Ross tested his skills out on the ice. He was very wobbly, while Rachel elegantly glided on the ice. Phoebe did some fancy twists and turns while Joey concentrated on staying on his two feet.

"Okay, I think we are ready," Ross said, a little unsurely.

"Oh kay!" Phoebe went to the centre of the arena, where the referee handed her a baton and told her forty-five laps.

"Let's spread ourselves out guys!" Rachel yelled.

**M/|\C**

"So here's lap number five!" Chandler thought to himself as he glided effortlessly around the corner to Harry. At this point, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey and Ross had started their relay and Chandler smiled when he saw Ross wobble across his metres of ice.

"Here you are!" Chandler slapped the baton into Harry's waiting hand.

"Alrighty! Here I go!" Harry plunged forward and skated his length furiously where he met his brother. Patrick took the baton and did his bit before passing it on to Monica.

"Nice to know that we are over one-ninth done!" Monica remarked to her husband when she passed the baton back to Chandler.

"Oh yeah," Chandler took off.

At this moment, Phoebe pulled up beside Chandler, and the two of them had a wordless race around the corner of the rink. Phoebe was good, but Chandler overtook her at the turn, making a tight yet clean curve. His sharp turn caused Phoebe to temporarily lose her balance and she fell onto the ice. Her hands broke her fall, but Phoebe knew there would be bruises on her legs tomorrow.

"Phoebs!" Joey cried out.

"I am okay!" Phoebe called out, as she pushed herself back up. By now, Chandler had passed his baton on to Harry and was patiently standing. Phoebe made her way to Ross, who clumsily took the baton and stopped beside Chandler.

"Now that wasn't very nice," Phoebe reprimanded.

"I did nothing wrong," Chandler retorted, "I just turned!"

"Sure you didn't, Bing!" Phoebe folded her arms together.

"I didn't even touch you!" Chandler exclaimed, "It was just a turn."

"And I am supposed to believe you?" Phoebe huffed.

"Yeah! I wouldn't pull anything on you Phoebs!" Chandler retorted back, "What kind of a person do you think I am, anyways?"

"Someone who knocks people over at turns!" Phoebe yelled back.

"I didn't!"

"Did too!"

The argument grew louder but was eventually stopped when Monica tapped Chandler's shoulder, and he took off with the baton.

"Your husband knocked me over!" Phoebe complained.

"No he didn't!" Monica replied, "I saw!"

"Fine, be on his side!" Phoebe groaned, "If that's how it's going to work, that's how it's going to work!"

Monica shrugged her shoulders in confusion; the heat of the race was clearly even getting to the usually easy-going Phoebe.

**R/|\R ~ M/|\C**

"Oh my god, we are never going to finish!" Rachel complained to Chandler.

"Really?" Chandler looked at Rachel with amusement.

"Look at Ross! He's like a snail! And Joey is almost no better!" Rachel sighed, "And we still have thirty something of these to finish!"

"We are actually on lap number seventeen, I think," Chandler thought for a moment.

"At least you guys are going to finish – Harry and Patrick are really good!" Rachel looked wistfully at Harry, who just passed the baton to Monica.

"Yeah they are, apparently Patrick wanted to be an Olympic skater when he was younger," Chandler grinned.

"Weren't you on the figure skating team in high school?" Rachel asked.

"Talk to you later, Rach!" Chandler grabbed the baton from Monica and took off.

"Hey Mon," Rachel smiled at her friend, "It feels like ages have passed since we started this race."

"Yeah, I know. Phoebe is all worked up about her fall," Monica sighed.

"I know, Chandler didn't push her," Rachel replied, "She's just a little frustrated that our men weren't born with skates on their feet."

"Yeah, I see what you mean," Monica saw her brother grab the baton from Joey and cautiously yet still clumsily make his way around to Rachel.

"Alright Mon, talk to you later," Rachel grabbed the baton from her boyfriend and pushed off.

"You might want to be less scared of the ice," Monica suggested to her brother.

"Damn it! I forgot how hard this was!" Ross groaned, "At least this isn't some Roadblock where one person has to do ten straight laps."

"That's true, isn't it kinda weird that we haven't seen a detour or a Roadblock during this leg?" Monica changed the topic.

"Yeah, tremendously, I hope this Leg ends soon, I am exhausted," Ross sighed, "My legs are still killing me from the Pyramids detour, and this Intersection thing is not making it any better."

"Hang in there," Monica called out to her brother when Harry passed her the baton.

**M/|\C ~ R/|\R**

"Oh my god! Look, another team!" Rachel exclaimed to Chandler, as they waited for their respective teammates to pass them the baton.

"Looks like Arlene, Yvonne, Meredith and Kenneth have teamed up for this one!" Chandler remarked.

"Wonder how good they are at skating... If they are all pros then we are sunk!" Rachel moaned.

"Can't be that bad, what lap are you guys on?" Chandler asked.

"Twenty-two," Rachel replied.

"Seriously? We are on number thirty-nine!" Chandler grinned.

"Yeah, I am serious. I can't believe we are this far behind!" Rachel sighed, "Catch ya later, Chandler." Rachel quickly removed the baton from her boyfriend's hand and took off.

"Hey Chandler, this skating is killing me." Ross groaned.

"Yeah, I haven't skated so much or so fast in a long time!" Chandler remarked.

"Hey guys!" Meredith skated over to the duo, "How's it going?"

"What took you guys so long? We only have six more laps left!" Chandler asked bemused.

"Shit happened. Our cabbie didn't understand a word of English and drove us to the wrong facility. Arlene and Yvonne arrived like thirty minutes ago, but no one else showed up!"

"Really? It can't be that hard to find!" Ross mused.

"See you later guys!" Chandler received the baton from his wife and left from his spot.

"Whew, I am just glad that we aren't part of the last relay team," Meredith grinned.

"I suppose Roger and Simon, Skye and Gilbert and those who bicker are making up the last relay," Ross reflected.

"It's a three way race for not last place, basically," Monica added her bit in.

"Yeah, and who knows what's ahead. We could have a detour and a Roadblock still – and that would be just cruel," Meredith sighed, "I am so tired."

"I think we all are," Ross agreed, "Oh, see you later!"

Ross took off after Joey gave him the baton.

**M/|\C**

Monica grinned triumphantly when she finished the last of the forty-five laps. The other three members of her team eagerly skated after her with matching smiles of victory and the referee skated over to them.

"Congratulations, you have just completed a five k relay! Here's your next clue!"

"Yahooo!" Harry dance-skated around while Patrick ripped open the yellow envelope.

Monica and Chandler embraced in a hug before ripping the envelope themselves to see what their next destination was.

"My dear god! They are trying to kill us!" Patrick exclaimed after reading the contents of the envelope.

"What is it?" Harry skated closer to his brother.

"It says," Chandler began, "Detour: Music or Dance – "

"Russia is famous for its achievements in the fine arts, so here, there are two detours. Music – look for a particular score that will be named when you enter the Conservatory, and find the pianist playing the right music. Dance – learn a ballet dance at the St. Petersburg ballet theatre." Monica finished off.

"I don't think I can dance after all this skating," Chandler told his wife.

"I don't think I could either. My legs are killing me! Let's do the Music detour," Monica whispered back.

"Hm... Dancing! I don't think I can do it, Patrick, I am pooped!" Harry sighed.

"Yeah, I agree," Patrick replied, "Psh, looking for music – how hard could that be?"

**R/|\R ~ P/|\J**

"Ross! Come on!" Rachel yelled at her boyfriend who was still halfway between his initial position and Rachel.

"I am trying!" Ross retorted back.

"The other people are going to catch up!" Rachel yelled back.

"Ugh, let me skate Rach!" Ross groaned.

A few wobbly glides later, Ross passed on the baton to Rachel. They still had ten more laps to go, while Meredith's (who was standing next to Ross) team still had less than twenty left. The last group had also arrived and were on their thirteenth lap around the rink. Roger and Simon proved to be potent skaters and were able to make up a lot of ground.

Rachel focused on her glides, making sure that she wasn't going too fast – she didn't want to fall or be tired during the later laps. Seconds later, she passed on the baton to Phoebe, who was off in a blur.

No one was talking anymore, as everyone struggled to complete the intersection. It was physically demanding, and even those who were proficient at skating were exhausted.

Phoebe managed to reach Joey, who had improved dramatically since the beginning of the relay. Joey took the baton from his partner and wordlessly pushed off – gliding towards Ross. Phoebe was impressed that Joey went from a stumbling beginner on skates to somewhat an expert. She sighed. The last two legs including the one today were not going as well as she would have liked it to. Both she and Joey had made some errors that cost them some valuable time – and Monica and Chandler were lucky that they had Harry and Patrick as their intersection buddies.

Joey had been silent for most of this task. He was terrified of disappointing Phoebe, since he could barely skate at the beginning of the detour, and he could tell that Phoebe wasn't too happy about Ross and his lack of skill on the skates. So instead of sharing idle chit-chat with members of other teams during each resting point, he focused on trying to improve his skating. He also spent some time observing how Chandler, Phoebe and the twins skated, and tried to emulate them, with some success. He was tired and hungry, but he wasn't going to complain. At least, he thought, that his skating was much better than Ross's right now.

When Joey reached Ross, he handed the baton to his buddy, and Ross took off at a leisurely speed. Ross was all tense since the beginning of the detour, and Joey knew that Ross's legs were killing him. That Pyramid detour was no joke. Joey was incredibly glad that he and Phoebe had opted for the less strenuous but way more disgusting Roadblock. Sure beats dragging an enormous block for four hours under the unbearable Egyptian sun, he thought.

And Ross, who was getting a little frustrated that he wasn't improving at the skating, not to mention completely exhausted and in a rather grumpy mood, finally passed on the baton to Rachel. Ross was also not too happy that Rachel had been yelling at him to hurry up for the past many laps.

And of course, the tension in the rink was completely unbearable for everyone – no one wanted to leave the arena last.

**M/|\C**

"Here we are! The Rimsky-Korsakov Saint Petersburg State Conservatory," Chandler read from the clue as he and Monica shut the trunk of their taxi after grabbing their bags.

"This place is incredibly famous!" Patrick exclaimed, after shutting the door to his taxi.

"Yeah!" Harry looked at the gray building in awe, "Some awfully famous people graduated here!"

"You make it sound like a bad thing," Chandler quipped.

Harry shrugged.

Monica, Chandler, Harry and Patrick had managed to get taxis within seconds of each other, and their taxis had been following each other during the drive over. They walked over to the building, and went in through a door marked with a yellow flag. They were led by a man dressed in a suit to a large room, where in the centre were heaps of various coloured books and papers covered in musical notation.

"Pick a card, any card," The man pointed to a basket full of white cards.

Monica and Harry picked up a card each.

"Find the music score that matches with the title on your cards. When you find the right score, proceed to your right from over there," the man pointed to another doorway in the room, "And go up the stairs. You will find a lot of people playing piano in there, and you will have to find the right person playing your music. When you get the correct person, he or she will give you your next clue. Is that clear?"

The four nodded.

"Okay, good luck!" The man walked out of the room.

"So what are we looking for?" Chandler and Patrick both looked at their partners.

Monica handed over her card to Chandler.

"Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor by Rachmaninoff," Chandler read the card.

"Let's start looking!" Monica exclaimed, and began to go through the pile of books.

**P/|\J ~ R/|\R**

Rachel exhaustibly passed on the baton to Phoebe, and stood on her spot, panting. Beside her, Simon, still looking not tired looked anxiously at his teammates.

"How many more do you guys have left?" Rachel asked him.

"Well, seeing that we have to do forty-five plus half of that, I reckon that we are more than a third done. How about you?" Simon turned back the question on Rachel.

"One more lap! We are so slow at this, Meredith and her people are catching up, very quickly. They are on lap number thirty-nine last time I asked."

"Yeah, we are kinda screwed," Simon groaned, "It's going to be a three way race to not be last when we finish."

"We are trying to stay out of the bottom of the pack," Rachel replied, "We don't want to be screwed."

"Yeah, there's going to be eight teams left after this leg. It's getting more and more intense!" Simon observed, "At least that other pair, Sarah and what's her name is out. I don't think I can take any more bitching."

"Apparently they got killed by the Mummy detour. Heard it was very gross," Rachel grinned.

"Yeah, they had to do what? Dissect a cat?" Simon mused.

"While we were doing hard labour under the sun for four fucking hours? Honestly cat guts seemed like a better alternative, if you really think about it," Rachel said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, Roger and I are pretty fit people, but that was one hell of a detour," Simon exclaimed.

"Rachel! Your turn!" Ross handed over the baton.

"Woohoo! Last length!" Rachel skated off towards the finish line. When she got there, the referee was waiting for her and gave her a high-five.

"Congratulations to your team. Not bad at all," the referee grinned, "Here's your next clue." Phoebe and Rachel both got their yellow envelopes after Phoebe skated over from the other side of the rink. They both opened their envelopes.

"Detour!" Rachel yelled.

"I can't believe we did it!" Ross bemusedly told Joey, who was trying to dance around the ice.

"Yeah, high five man!" The duo shared their high-five and Ross lost his balance and fell on the ice.

"Honey, are you alright?" Rachel skated over to her boyfriend.

"Yeah, no worse than the other billion spills that I've had during this entire relay," Ross grabbed on to Rachel's hand and got up.

"Yeah, I think I am going to all black and blue and purple tomorrow!" Joey exclaimed, "Look at me guys, a figure eight!"

"More like a zero," Rachel quipped after watching Joey's attempt.

"Okay guys, enough chilling, we've got some fish to fry! Joey, let's go!" Phoebe skated towards the exit.

**M/|\C**

"Psh, looking for music – how hard could that be?" Harry mocked his brother after over an hour of looking through books and papers.

"Oh shut up! I didn't know there could be this many!" Patrick frowned as he gently tossed a book into a haphazard pile behind him.

"I haven't even found a book with Tchaikovsky's name on it!" Harry frowned.

"Well, at least we found a book with our composer, but it was a book of Preludes," Chandler sighed.

"So close, yet so far," Monica muttered as she passed on another blue book to her husband.

"Oh look, Tchaikovsky!" Patrick cried out and passed a tan coloured book to Harry.

"Psh, Violin concerto, man – put it back!" Harry replied disdainfully.

"This is going to take forever!" Patrick took the book back from his brother and placed it on a pile of already-have-been-looked-at books.

"Tell me about it," Chandler placed another book on top of a stack that he had just made.

"Smart of them to give everyone something different to look for," Harry said, "That way we can't not look at other people's piles of already been looked through books."

"So are we supposed to be helping each other, or what?" Chandler asked the twins.

"I dunno, but we probably should, we are only on the fourth leg after all," Patrick grinned, "We won't screw you guys over."

"And we won't either," Monica replied, "So give a shout if you see dear old Rachmaninoff anywhere."

"Likewise with Mr. Tchaikovsky," Patrick sighed.

**R/|\R**

"Ooh look Ross, it's Monica and Chandler and the twins!" Rachel exclaimed when she and Ross entered the grand room with books strewn everywhere on the floor.

"Hey guys!" Everyone stopped what they were doing and waved to the newly arrived couple.

"Where are Phoebe and Joey?" Monica asked them.

"Other detour, they have the energy, we don't," Rachel sighed.

"Trust me, this is not easy!" Harry groaned, "We've been in here for almost two hours, no luck."

"I hope Joey and Phoebe will be stuck dancing for a long long time!" Ross replied glumly.

"That's not nice!" Harry reprimanded, "Must wish good things to all our fellow friends and competitors."

"That's right," Chandler replied back.

"Ooh, we have to look for," Rachel turned their card over, "Prokofiev's Sonata Number Six for Piano."

"Good luck with that," Harry mumbled glumly.

"Looks like we will need it," Rachel frowned at the mountains of books heaped in front of her.

"Oh my god! Oh my god!" Monica suddenly shouted.

"What? What?" Everyone dropped whatever they were doing to look at Monica's outburst.

"I found it! I found it!" Monica waved her book aloft. Chandler could see the title and he knew that they indeed did find it.

"Lucky!" Harry exclaimed.

"Very!" Patrick nodded and half-heartedly attacked the books again.

"Yay!" Chandler did his little dance, and Monica didn't have the heart to tell him to stop. "Let's go, see you later guys!" Monica and Chandler headed off towards the entrance on the far-side of the room.

Silence reigned in the room after their departure, Harry mumbling expletives under his breath, while Ross recited the name of every composer on the books under his breath, "Bach, Chopin, Korsakov, Liszt, Beethoven, more Chopin, more Bach, Debussy..."

"If you have nothing nice to say Harry, kindly shut your trap," Patrick was getting fed up with his brother.

"Yes sir," Harry mock-saluted and obligingly shut his trap.

"Prokofiev!" Ross shattered the silence.

"Where?" Rachel almost squealed.

"Here! A book of Piano Sonatas, and damn it! The book only goes up to number FIVE!" Ross frowned.

"Honey, here's another one!" Rachel picked up another book, this one orange and very thick.

"Ah, it has the number six in it!" Ross exclaimed happily, "In A major! Let's go!"

Ross and Rachel got up and high-fived before running out the room after their friends.

"Damned lucky bastards! What was that, ten freaking minutes and they are done!" Patrick swore.

"Now, now, what happened to if you have nothing to say, don't say it!" Harry glared at his brother.

Patrick flung a book at him.

"Eh, hey! Watch where you throw your books, Patty! Those things give paper-cuts!" Harry bent over to pick up the book that had smacked him on the forehead. "Hey, what do ya know, it's Tchaik! First Piano Concerto too! We are done!"

"Let's go! No one's waiting for us!" Harry tucked the tan-coloured book underneath his arm and the two brothers dashed after Ross and Rachel.

**P/|\J**

Phoebe and Joey had emerged from the dressing rooms to the theatre. Phoebe had on a pink tutu, which she couldn't resist spinning around in every minute or so, while Joey was trying to look as comfortable as he could in the tights that were provided for him. When they reached the stage, there were several ballerinas and male ballet dancers waiting for them.

"Oh, you are the first team to arrive here!" A blonde haired girl dressed in a green tutu greeted them, "Are you ready to dance?"

"Oh yeah!" Phoebe did a little twirl.

"I think so," Joey replied back, with less enthusiasm.

"My name is Natalie, and I will teach you," she indicated to Phoebe, "And my dear friend over there, Vladimir will teach you."

A man dressed in navy blue tights approached Joey.

"So are you ready?"

Joey nodded.

"Okay," the man beamed.

"So this is first position," Natalie explained to Phoebe, while touching the backs of her heels together, causing her feet to face outward in an almost straight line.

"Oh," Phoebe copied her.

"A little bit more," Natalie suggested, and Phoebe found herself trying to make her feet as straight as Natalie's. It was mildly uncomfortable. "That's good. Now spread your feet out like this," Natalie gracefully moved one of her feet (still in first position) out. "This is second position!"

"I see," Phoebe did the same.

"Very good, now you place your right foot in front of your left foot, don't change the position of your feet! And your front foot touches the middle of your other foot. Third position," Natalie explained.

"Ooh, this is hard," Phoebe sighed.

"Don't worry, you are doing quite well," Natalie grinned.

**M/|\C ~ R/|\R**

"Oh my god, what is this?" Chandler exclaimed upon entering the indicated room. Chaos met the couple as they stumbled into an enormous room filled with practicing pianists and grand pianos. There were at least over fifty different people playing fifty different pieces and the resulting racket was insane.

"If there's a hell, this is what it must sound like," Monica remarked to Chandler.

"I don't think that explains it, now let's look at the score we've got," Chandler flipped the book open to the first page of the music.

"Do you know what the piece sounds like?" Monica inquired.

"Not really, but there are some really long chords at the beginning, and it's minor, so let's look for something unhappy sounding and with long notes at the beginning," Chandler suggested.

"Okay," Monica nodded.

The couple paused briefly beside every pianist to listen to their piece. It was hard with all the other music being played at once, but if they concentrated, they could hear the music from the individual piano.

Behind Monica and Chandler, Ross and Rachel had entered the room.

"My ears!" Ross clapped his hands to his ears.

"I know!" Rachel agreed, "This is crazy!"

"So how are we going to figure out who's playing the Prokofiev?" Rachel asked.

"Well, we will just have to figure it out," Ross sighed. He looked at the book in his hand and tried to hum the top line, but couldn't since he could barely hear himself.

"Oh my god! Who let all the demon cats and dogs out?" Harry exclaimed upon entering the room.

"Insane!" Patrick tried to block out the noise, "My head is already hurting."

"No time! Let's listen for Tchaik and get the hell out of here! You do know what it sounds like, don't you?" Harry asked.

"Nope," Patrick frowned.

"You should, it's so overplayed everywhere!" Harry sighed, "But I do, so let's go!"

"Chandler! Is this it?" Monica yelled very loudly for her husband in the middle of the room.

"Is what it?" Chandler ran to his wife who was standing beside an ebony black grand where a young brown haired pianist was playing.

"Okay, wait for him to start again," Monica said to her husband, quieter this time.

They listened to the young virtuoso play for a few minutes before the pianist stopped and started from the beginning again. Chandler listened to the long held mournful chords at the first few bars before the pianist launched into a more furious section.

"I think this is it," Chandler remarked.

"It's so sad and furious!" Monica replied back.

"Excuse me, but is this your book?" Chandler tapped the pianist gently on the shoulder, who then stopped to look at the blue book.

"Oh yeah! Thanks much! Here's your next clue!" The pianist replied with surprisingly unaccented English and removed a yellow envelope from a bag beside him, "And you are right about the sadness – Rachmaninoff was arguably one of the saddest people ever."

"Why is that?" Monica asked.

"He missed Russia – but couldn't go back due to unrest, you see – he was famous in America but his heart lies in the motherland. He never did go back before he died." The pianist replied, "Now I think you better get going – can't wait to see this season of the Amazing Race!"

"You watch it?" Chandler looked at the pianist.

"Oh yeah. Why do you think we volunteered for this? I am going to get a nice ringing headache from this, but what the hell; I am going to be on TV!"

"Ah the things that one does for fame!" Chandler nodded knowingly.

"You are one to talk, now get going. Nice to meet you guys!"

"Right, Monica, let's go!" Chandler grabbed his wife's hand and dashed out for peace and quiet in the corridor outside the room.

**H/|\P**

"Oh my god, my brain is dying," Patrick moaned when the twins finally got out of the room.

"Oh quit moaning, you will be as right as rain tomorrow. Fortunately, the fifth pianist was playing our piece, not the fiftieth," Harry retorted back and ripped the yellow envelope.

"Freaking hell, it's not over yet!" Patrick saw a familiar red on the paper that Harry pulled out.

"Roadblock! AH!" Harry exclaimed.

"Phil's trying to kill us, isn't he?" Patrick remarked.

"Oh yeah, who's ready for a deep freeze?" Harry read the clue.

"Well, we are in Russia, which by the way has awesome weather in the summer. But here I think they mean, literally freeze." Patrick mused.

"Well, it's your turn Patty! I jumped off that freaking tower!" Harry grinned.

"And you didn't die, what a pity," Patrick remarked sarcastically.

"Well, you are still doing it! Let's get our butts to that museum!"

**P/|\J**

Joey and Phoebe were performing their individual dances to the audience of ballerinas and dancers. Joey had found that he was quite adept at the dancing – with his actor training, and Phoebe was incredibly flexible, so while Joey had issues with the flexibility part, Phoebe was able to do the poses with ease. Joey was able to memorize the steps quite easily while Phoebe kept forgetting crucial elements.

By this time, Arlene and Yvonne had joined Phoebe and Joey, and were quickly learning the steps of ballet. Arlene had attempted the dance once but was given the negative.

"No, it's not right," One of the ballerinas shook her head at Phoebe.

"Damn it!" Phoebe went off to see Natalie for another demonstration.

"It's very good!" One of the male dancers applauded when Joey finished with a bow.

"Yeah, you definitely pass, not bad for your first dance," a ballerina winked at Joey.

"Thanks guys! How you doing?" Joey grinned flirtatiously at the winking ballerina. She giggled.

"Ah American charm has its merits," she grinned.

"Oh yeah," Joey smiled.

"Damn it! I forgot to turn!" Phoebe moaned into her hands after Natalie had shown her the dance.

"Go Phoebe!" Joey cried out.

"Okay I am ready to do it again!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Okay, you may start when the music plays," One of the ballerinas replied.

Strains of a waltz started and Phoebe found herself dancing in time to the music with utmost concentration. This was her fifth attempt, while Joey had gotten it in less than three. She did a turn, and then a side leap and a few other moves before ending her dance with a curtsy.

"Good job! You pass! Here's your next clue!" one of the dancers approached Phoebe and Joey and handed them their next clue.

"Thanks so much!" Joey exclaimed, "And I wish I would be staying longer." He looked sadly at the bunch of ballerinas that he had been chatting up while waiting for Phoebe to finish.

"Let's go Joey; we've got a Roadblock to finish!" Phoebe grabbed Joey's hand and forcefully marched him out of the group of flirting ballerinas.

**R/|\R**

"Oh my goodness, where is that pianist?" Ross huffed as he and Rachel walked up and down the rows of pianos and pianists.

"I don't know," Rachel sighed. She and Ross had been ambling in the room for about fifteen minutes as of now, and her headache was worsening.

"Oh crap," Ross swore.

"What?" Rachel looked at her boyfriend questioningly.

"Meredith and Kenneth are here, we better find that pianist fast!"

"Yeah, we better," Rachel paused to listen to a girl playing Beethoven.

"Nope, not that one, it's way too fast for a moderate tempo," Ross sighed.

"How about this one?" Rachel stopped at another piano.

"No, way too slow," Ross shook his head.

"How do you know? I bet that piece of ours changes speed!" Rachel suggested.

"Oh no, you are right!" Ross sighed, when he looked through the sonata.

"There's more than one part per sonata!" Rachel exclaimed.

"I think we are making this more complicated than it is," Ross sighed, "We should just look for the person playing the beginning part of it."

"But what if they aren't?" Rachel retorted back.

"Then it's way too hard – too bad Chandler and Monica and the twins left – we should have asked them!" Ross sighed.

"And they aren't playing entire pieces either, if you listen to them play, they are playing like the first chunk of the songs," Ross observed.

"Yeah, you are right," Rachel agreed, "Let's keep looking."

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"The Arctic and Antarctica Museum," Chandler looked at a white building, whose entrance featured great pillars, not unlike those found in Ancient Greek buildings.

"You are doing the Roadblock, Chandler, I jumped off a tower!" Monica exclaimed.

"Alright, it doesn't sound too hard – sit in a ice chair for fifteen minutes, without getting up," Chandler grinned, "Do you have my really thick pants?"

"Yeah, honey, I do – let's go find a washroom and you can change into them." Monica suggested.

"Alright," The couple headed into the museum.

Harry and Patrick entered the museum minutes after Monica and Chandler and made their way to the indicated room by following yellow and red arrows.

"An ice chair?" Patrick said, "I am sitting in an ice chair for fifteen minutes and all I've got is these shorts!"

"Too bad, Patty," Harry sighed, "Now you get to suffer this time!"

"Hey at least your jump only lasted a few seconds, this is prolonged agony here!" Patrick made a face at his brother.

"Oh my god, this is cold!" The twins had entered into a room that was obviously kept at a temperature below freezing. Harry and Patrick promptly dug into their bags for something warmer than the t-shirts that they were wearing.

"Like these flimsy jackets are going to help much," Patrick moaned, "Look at that dude, he has a bloody fur coat on!"

"Bloody? Wrong country, Pat!" Harry retorted.

"Oh shut up, do I just sit here?" Patrick asked the fur clad man standing in the corner of the room.

"Yes, for fifteen minutes."

Patrick gingerly sat down on the slab of ice that was shaped into a chair. "This isn't so bad!"

"Hey guys!" Monica and Chandler arrived into the room, wearing winter outfits.

"See, you guys are prepared!" Harry exclaimed.

"So do I sit in this chair?" Chandler, wearing pants that were practically snow-pants and a warm sweater, sat down on an ice chair beside Patrick.

"Yeah, fifteen minutes!"

"Prepared is my middle name!" Monica exclaimed proudly.

"So Patrick, why on earth did you only bring shorts? You do realize that if we go to Alaska or somewhere close to the Arctic – you are screwed?" Harry asked his twin.

"Heck, it's summer – even in Alaska, it ain't freezing!" Patrick retorted.

"Well, it's freezing now!" Harry stated the obvious.

"Oh my god, my butt is starting to feel numb now!" Patrick wiggled his butt on the ice in an effort to un-numb his lower regions.

"It's been barely," Harry looked at his watch, "Five minutes!"

"Damn it, how am I going to last ten minutes?"

"Honey, are you okay?" Monica asked Chandler.

"Yeah, but the room is still really cold," Chandler replied, "But the butt is fine – thank god for these pants!"

"Is it possible to get frostbite on your ass?" Patrick asked his twin.

"I don't know. Maybe we can conduct the experiment with all the apparatus present," Harry mused.

"Don't you go all scientist-guy on me!" Patrick moaned, "I am only an accountant!"

"I wonder how they would treat frostbite on your butt. They can't just amputate, can't they?" Chandler quipped.

"Very funny," Patrick remarked, "Maybe in ten minutes, the cold will seep to your butt and you can suffer this Roadblock like a man! Snow-pants! Damn them!"

"Now, Patrick, don't sound so bitter," Harry replied back, "Don't worry Chandler, it's the ice talking, not my brother."

"The day they start making ice sculptures in the shape of people, and animate them – sure sound plausible," Chandler remarked.

"Yeah, I wonder what Patrick did to get this particular honour," Harry smirked.

"Oh shut up, you guys, shut up!"

**P/|\J**

"Boy, is it cold in here!" Joey remarked to Phoebe as they entered the empty, cold room.

"Looks like we are either first or the other teams before us already left!" Phoebe observed.

"Hopefully we are first, but somehow, I don't think so," Joey replied back.

"Okay, Tribbiani, get your ass on one of those ice chairs!" Phoebe ordered with a wink.

"Ma'am, yes ma'am!" Joey saluted her and plonked down on one of the ice chairs.

"Oh my god! It's cold! It's cold! My balls!" Joey groaned.

"Joey! Sit more forward! You don't need to sit in the middle of the chair!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Ah, much better!" Joey slid forward on the chair.

"And now we wait, fifteen minutes," Phoebe looked at her watch, "This is almost like waiting for something to bake, but the opposite!"

"Phoebe, don't you dare start talking about food!" Joey patted his stomach and glared at his partner.

**R/|\R**

"Brrr... they weren't joking when they said to prepare for a deep freeze," Ross pulled out a thick red sweater from his bag.

"Yeah, and I am doing the Roadblock, so you shouldn't complain!" Rachel put on her sweater, changed into a pair of long thick pants and put on a hat and a pair of gloves.

"Hey guys!" Phoebe and Joey greeted Ross and Rachel.

Rachel and Ross greeted their friends back, and Rachel sat down on one of the ice chairs.

"You haven't seen Mon or Chandler or the twins, have you?" Rachel asked.

"No," Joey shook his head, "But I have a feeling that they are probably already at the pit stop."

"Joey! Think optimistically!" Phoebe exclaimed, "All this negativity is bad for the auras!"

"Wow, I think my butt is officially frozen!" Joey exclaimed.

"Well, you have been sitting there for ten minutes, Joey!" Phoebe looked at her watch again.

"Five more minutes then?" Joey counted on his fingers.

"Yeah," Phoebe sighed, "Hang in there!"

"Hey guys!" Phoebe and Ross turned around to see Meredith and Kenneth enter the room, "Boy is it cold!" Meredith's teeth chattered.

"Yeah, it is," Roger and Simon also entered the room.

"Wow, how did you guys get here so fast?" Rachel looked at the couple.

"We did the music detour – found the book in like a few seconds and found the pianist in like five minutes. Thank god that Simon is a musician, or we would be in that very loud room for years!" Roger explained.

"Wow, you guys got lucky! We spent over half an hour looking for the right person!" Rachel sighed.

"It did help that the piece that we were looking for was a piece that my pianist friend was working on last year." Simon elaborated.

"Cool, what instrument do you play, Simon?" Phoebe inquired.

"I am a violinist; I play in several orchestras right now, as a first violinist." Simon replied back, while watching his partner settle himself down in one of the chairs.

"Nice, I play the guitar," Phoebe grinned.

"Cool, I can too!" Phoebe and Roger high-fived.

"And I don't play anything," Joey sighed sadly.

"What about those things written on your resume, Joey?" Rachel asked.

"Psh, like you believe what's on that piece of paper!" Joey grinned.

**M/|\C**

"It's Phil! Thank god! This leg is almost over!" Chandler exclaimed to his wife as they ran through the vast Palace Square.

"And that's the Winter Palace! It's so large and beautiful!" Monica exclaimed.

"Let's concentrate on the man in front of us, not the building behind him!" Chandler replied back, "Harry and Patrick are going to show up anytime soon!"

The couple began to sprint with all they've got when they were within five hundred metres of the mat. When they finally got to the mat, they both collapsed in front of Phil, panting – struggling to catch their breath.

"Oh my god, we did it!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Welcome to St. Petersburg, Russia," A woman dressed in a traditional red Russian silk dress and headdress greeted them.

"Thank you," Monica breathed.

"Chandler and Monica, you guys are the first team to arrive, congratulations!" Phil exclaimed.

"All that work! And we are first! Yay!" Chandler stood up.

"For coming first on this leg of the race, you guys both get an all expenses paid trip for a week-long luxury cruise in the Caribbean. Congratulations guys! Patrick and Harry, come on up to the mat!" Phil waved at the twins who had just arrived, and were just as out of breath as Monica and Chandler had been.

"Welcome to St. Petersburg, Russia!" The woman repeated her greeting.

"Thank you, my fair lady," Harry managed, while breathing hard.

"You guys all look beat, how was this leg?" Phil asked.

"Exhausting! That intersection was just plain brutal!" Harry groaned.

"My legs are killing me; I am surprised that we were able to run all the way over here," Chandler exclaimed.

"That was an unusually long leg," Monica observed.

"Sure was!" Patrick agreed.

"Yet you guys were apparently able to skate the intersection very well, from what I heard," Phil commented.

"Yeah, thank goodness we all knew how to skate and we were all pretty good," Monica replied.

"Yeah, and Patrick got to relive his dream as an Olympic speed-skater with all that gear," Harry grinned.

"Yeah, it was amazing. But now I am amazingly tired," Patrick stifled a yawn.

"Well, it's dinnertime – there are some young ladies at the front entrance that will escort you to the dining hall." Phil pointed over to the entrance.

"Wow, it's evening already! That skating intersection really did take up a huge chunk of time, didn't it?" Monica asked.

"Oh yeah, and you've got to factor in all the travelling we did in between, and the taxi waving," Patrick added.

"Not to mention that none of us had lunch, except a little bite on the plane at five AM," Harry sighed, "Thank god for little snacks that we bought earlier."

"Yeah," Chandler replied back as all four of them walked cheerily to the magnificent front entrance of the palace.

**P/|\J ~ R/|\R**

"Look! There's Phil!" Ross exclaimed as Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel dashed across the enormous square, where innumerable amounts of tourists were still walking around, despite the darkness that had began to fall.

"Yes, victory is ours!" Phoebe grabbed onto Joey's hand and made one last frantic dash across to the mat.

Both teams sprinted to the mat, full speed, and almost fell on top of Phil in an effort to stop.

"Welcome to St. Petersburg, Russia," The lady greeted them.

"Thank you."

"Phoebe and Joey and Ross and Rachel, you guys have both arrived at the same time – in third place. Congratulations!" Phil exclaimed.

All four of them joined together in a huge hug. They each gave each other mischievous looks and turned around to give Phil a huge hug.

"Um... guys... you are kind of strangling me," Phil managed.

"Oh sorry," Joey broke off from the hug, followed by everyone else.

"Roger and Simon, come on to the mat!" Phil looked at the couple, who stepped forward, and on the mat, "Roger and Simon, you guys are the fifth team to arrive, but you are in fourth place as these teams have tied."

"Alright!" The two of them hugged and kissed.

"I am hungry!" Joey complained after watching the display of affection.

Phil chuckled. "Dinner is ready for you guys – just go to the entrance over there, and some ladies will happily lead you to your feast."

**P/|\J ~ R/|\R ~ M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"That was the most exhausting leg, ever!" Harry leaned back into a silk cushion on a really posh couch in an enormous room that everyone discerned was probably a living room.

"I am pooped, if the next leg is what this leg was, I think I want to throw in the towel!" Patrick massaged his aching legs.

"One million dollars, guys!" Phoebe exclaimed, "That's the carrot that's keeping me going!"

"Me too," Chandler grinned, "But yeah, I would love a bath."

Rachel smiled. "Did you see the size of those tubs in the washroom? I am all for a soak later!"

"Me too," Harry grinned, "Call me over when you start it!"

"Hey! That's my girlfriend!" Ross huffed.

"Fine, be possessive!" Harry winked at Rachel.

"Yeah, and those bathtubs are really something. Imagine all the stuff you can do in them," Monica grinned suggestively at her husband.

"Stop! Stop! No more details!" Ross groaned.

Joey entered the room with a towel around his lower body with a very satisfied grin on his face.

"Boy are those tubs something!"

"What happened, Joe?" Chandler asked his best friend.

"Two hot Russian chicks, some strawberries, one large tub – you do the math!" Joey replied dreamily.

"No, I think I am going to pass on the math," Ross and Chandler both said simultaneously.

"Just because you all have girlfriends!" Harry exclaimed, "I want in!"

"Um Harry, don't you have a girlfriend?" Patrick asked his twin.

"Oh right, just joking!" Harry grinned.

"Ooh, you do have one!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Yeah I do!" Harry smiled, "I miss her."

"Aw..." Phoebe, Rachel and Monica sighed.

"She doesn't know that I am here – I had to give her some other excuse. It sucks – I am trying to make it up to her by buying a souvenir everywhere we go." Harry sighed.

"Aw... that's really sweet of you!" Rachel grinned.

"Does Patrick have a girlfriend?" Monica asked.

"Nope, still single," he sighed.

"Don't worry, I don't have one at the moment either," Joey reassured him.

"But you got two blondes!" Patrick exclaimed.

"Oh, that's nothing – one time fling y'know?"

"I wonder where we are going tomorrow – I mean we've been to France, Germany, Egypt and now Mother Russia," Chandler mused.

"Well, wherever it is, I am not ready!" Harry smiled.


	6. I am Talking to Ducks!

_A/N – Early update. Hope you guys enjoy! I am very very busy next week – so hopefully I can update next week's episode in time. (Crosses fingers!) _

_Thanks for the reviews, guys – much appreciated! Please review!_

* * *

><p><strong>The Amazing Race: Friends Edition (5<strong>**th**** Leg) – "I am talking to ducks!" – Rachel**

"Morning guys," Harry cheerily waved to the occupants sitting at an enormous wooden table in a spacious dining hall, "How was the sleep?"

"I still feel like falling face-forward into my porridge!" Chandler exclaimed, "I can't believe we are up at the crack of dawn – again!"

"Definitely beats the cramped sleep we had on the plane yesterday – those beds were so nice and comfortable," Monica replied back.

"Most definitely," Patrick, who was already helping himself to a large Russian omelette, nodded to his brother.

"Guess we can mark off sleeping in a palace off our to-do-lists," Harry quipped, as he pulled the chair next to Chandler out and across from Patrick. He then sat down, picked up the large dark-coloured ladle and helped himself to some porridge.

"You should put some sour cream on that, it's good!" Monica suggested.

"Okay, Russian style porridge," Harry grinned as he got himself some sour cream from a bowl.

"Hey guys! Have you read the news today?" Phoebe walked into the room.

"Nope, we were too busy sleeping," Chandler remarked dryly.

"Oh what happened?" Patrick asked.

"Apparently some guy tried to rob a convenience store and the woman, who had a black belt, beat him up and locked him into the basement," Phoebe replied.

"Oh wow, that's badass!" Harry exclaimed.

"Oh that's not all! She used him as a sex slave for three days before she let him go," Phoebe continued.

"Really?" Chandler looked intrigued, "That can't be all, can't it?"

"The would-be-robber went to the police station afterwards. They both got arrested," Phoebe finished, and dropped off a newspaper beside one of the twins.

"Um... Phoebs, I don't read Russian," Patrick looked at the newspaper with a puzzled expression on his face.

"And that's the kind of stuff that only happens in Russia," Chandler quipped, while taking another spoonful of porridge.

"In Soviet Russia – victims do you," Harry stated. Chandler snickered. Monica rolled her eyes.

"Now that was awful," Patrick shook his head at his brother.

"Couldn't resist it, bro!" Harry grinned, "Don't you know me at all?"

"Unfortunately twenty-seven years too long!" Patrick replied flatly.

"Breakfast!" Joey's voice could be heard outside the room. He burst into the room with great enthusiasm, plonked himself down on a chair and immediately tucked in.

"And good morning to you, Joey," Chandler greeted sarcastically.

"Oh, good morning!" Joey returned his attentions back to a cold-cut sandwich that he was building.

"I bet that we are going to a nice hot country today, seeing that we are in a rather cool country today," Harry predicted, after meditating over his sandwich.

"I am not going to take that bet. We have limited funds," Chandler sighed, "Plus, I agree with you – they enjoy placing us in one extreme to another."

"Yeah, one day we are in the Sahara desert, and the next day we are stuck in the heart of a rainforest," Patrick quipped.

"Maybe not that extreme," Harry retorted, "But we did go from hot desert Egypt to nice northern Russia in like a heartbeat."

"I bet we are going to India next! My psychic told me!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Your psychic?" Harry asked her dubiously, "You want to bet on that?"

Phoebe shook her head, "Can't afford to lose any more money. Where do you think we are going next?"

"How about Thailand?" Patrick offered his speculation.

"Mongolia!" Harry exclaimed.

"If we are betting, I am putting my dough on China!" Chandler thought for a moment.

"Oh I want in!" Joey talked with his mouth full of sandwich, "How about Japan! Those Japanese chicks are hot!"

"How about you, Mon?" Phoebe asked.

"Maybe somewhere in the Pacific, like Indonesia or even Australia?" Monica mused.

"Or maybe we are going to Siberia! Phil likes to keep us guessing!" Harry thought for another moment.

"Maybe, but I don't think so," Phoebe sighed, "I don't see Siberia in anyone's future."

"Well, I guess we will see if any one of us is right," Chandler mused, "Or maybe we are all right – you never know!"

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"Ah, the good old mat, where every journey stops, and ends," Harry stated expansively as the two teams walked towards the mat. The sun had finished rising, and a chilly wind blew through the area around the Palace square. The mat was located right in front of the steps to the grand entrance. The red granite Alexander Column stood in the centre of the square.

"Nothing like journeying to the unknown," Patrick replied back to his brother.

"This is so not what I am used to," Monica sighed, "I can't plan everything!"

"Ah, relinquishing control," Chandler mused.

"As I told you before, relinquishing is just a fancy way of saying losing," Monica retorted back to her husband.

"Well, you can't control everything," Harry grinned, "Life would be incredibly boring."

"But everything is more fun when it's organized!" Monica exclaimed, while the all the guys gave her skeptical looks.

"Not in my book!" Harry replied back, "I like spontaneity."

"More like breaking the rules," Patrick quipped, "Harry was such a bad boy when he was younger."

"I was not!" Harry defended himself.

"Were too!" Patrick retorted back.

"Not like you were such an angel yourself," Harry sniped back.

"Guys, we are in Russia, in the middle of the Palace Square, and all you guys u can do is argue about who's the better twin?" Chandler quipped.

"Speaking of which, I think it's time to go," Monica looked at Chandler's watch.

Chandler reached for the box that he was standing beside and reached for an envelope – the twins still had to wait out another minute before they were allowed to take off.

"Look for the Bronze Horseman at the Senate Square for you next route marker. Thirty dollars have been provided for this leg of the race." Chandler reached for the money while handing Monica the clue.

"Is it just me, or are we getting less and less money per leg?" Monica observed.

"No, it's not you, maybe by the twelfth leg we will get a dollar, if we are lucky to get to that leg," Chandler remarked.

"Okay, let's go get ourselves a taxi. We've got to find a horseman!" Monica

Chandler and Monica left the mat just as Harry and Patrick retrieved their clue from the box.

**M/|\C**

"So this is Senate Square," Chandler looked around the round stone path that surrounded the large statue of the horseman, which was situated on an enormous slab of reddish-whitish granite. A green hedge lined the inner perimeter of the pathway.

"Wow, that's a large rock!" Monica exclaimed, pointing to the stone known as the Thunder stone that served as the pedestal for the horseman.

"So who is this mysterious horseman? Definitely not the Headless Horseman from the Legend of Sleepy Hollow – it's got a head!" Chandler exclaimed, as they walked around, looking for the next route marker.

The couple was walking counter-clockwise, and didn't notice any route markers during their walk.

"Where's the box?" Chandler sighed, looking up, down, left and right.

"I dunno, we are in the right place," Monica reassured, "Let's just go around the entire circle, maybe we will see it then."

"Oh look, here it is!" Chandler jumped over the green hedge and right behind the back of the Horseman, a clue box stood discreetly beside the granite. He opened the box and drew forth the second clue of the leg. He ripped it.

"Now that you've met Peter the Great, it is time for you to fly out of Russia. Your next destination is to the city of Chengdu, in the Sichuan province of the People's Republic of China. You will find your next clue at the Panda Base. You may fly on any flight. Good luck." He read breathlessly.

"Hey, what do you know – we are going to China!" Monica exclaimed.

"Let's get a cab – we are going back to that airport!" Chandler had jumped the hedge in his enthusiasm and Monica found herself running to catch up with her husband.

**H/|\P**

"Ouch! Watch where you are going!" Harry complained when Chandler crashed into him on the way out of the square.

"Sorry guys, but we've got a taxi to catch!" Monica grabbed her husband, who had stopped to check if Harry was alright from the impact and headed off towards the main road.

"Understandable," Patrick nodded, as the twins watched the couple dart out of sight.

"Okay so now we have to worry about us!" Harry sighed, "They came from that direction, so I reckon we should copy them since they already know where we are going."

"Alright," the twins walked around, looking for the next clue.

"This is Peter the Great, isn't he?" Harry enquired to his twin.

"Well, how am I supposed to know? I am only an accountant!" Patrick retorted.

"You'd think the only things in your head are numbers," Harry accused.

"I sit at a computer all day and look at numbers," Patrick replied, "You, however, do lots of things that I don't understand."

"Well, I don't understand your shit either." Harry gave his brother a disdainful look.

As they were bantering, the twins missed the box behind the horseman, and kept walking along the pathway. Three-quarters of the circle later,

"You know, I don't see that box anywhere, do you?" Patrick inquired.

"Nada. Nothing," Harry sighed.

"You think we missed it?" Patrick asked.

"Good god, I think we might have," Harry replied back.

"Oh hell, let's go back," Patrick turned around and jogged. Harry pursued him.

"Hey! We did miss it! It's here!" Harry dashed over the hedge and opened the cluebox.

"What does it say! What does it say?"

"Oh, we are going to China – looks like Chandler was right on the money!" Harry exclaimed.

"Good thing we bet toothpicks," Patrick nodded knowingly.

"Oh yeah," Harry grinned, "Not that we have any, mind you,"

"Let's get a cab – we've got a plane to find and catch!"

The twins ran out of the square, hoping to make up for the minutes they wasted for their lack of diligence.

**R/|\R ~ P/|\J ~ R/|\S**

"Mm... Fifth leg guys! We are almost halfway there!" Roger whistled cheerily as the three teams descended from the steps to the mat below.

"Yeah! I wonder where we are going to today!" Rachel exclaimed, "But I love the Palace – made me feel like a princess!"

"Yeah, such luxury – the enormous tubs, the beds, the food – " Simon replied a tad dreamily.

"And all those hot Russian girls!" Joey added his bit – complete with wolf-whistle.

"Yeah, I didn't see you all night, Joey!" Phoebe sighed at her partner.

"Good night. Very good night!" Joey grinned.

"Yeah, those tubs – Monica was right – you could do a lot of things with them," Rachel smiled at her boyfriend.

"And, this is when we stop talking about the bathroom," Ross replied dryly.

"You are no fun!" Rachel stuck out her tongue.

"Oh come on, the bathroom is just the beginning!" Simon grinned, "We could tell you about the table, that loveseat, that windowsill, the bed –"

"Enough!" Ross plugged his ears with his hands.

"Yeah and the food was good!" Phoebe exclaimed, "Don't tell Monica this, but the cooking was the best I've ever had!"

"Ditto!" Rachel grinned, "Those Russians know their food. The beef from last night – amazing!"

"Oh yeah, and the dessert!" Roger smiled dreamily.

"Yeah, the dessert!" Joey grinned, "And the dessert after the dessert!"

"Okay guys, I think we can get our clues now," Ross looked pointedly at the clue-box.

Phoebe and Rachel reached for the box, while Simon and Roger had to wait out a minute before they could follow. After reading the clue, the two teams waved good-bye to the couple left behind and started racing each other for the taxi. The square was enormous, so they had a lot of ground to go through.

Ross got to the road first, and waved down the taxi that just conveniently arrived. He and Rachel placed their bags in the trunk before getting in the cab, leaving Phoebe and Joey behind, looking around for another one.

**R/|\R**

"Senate Square," Ross said to Rachel when they arrived at the Square, "And here's Peter the Great – on his great bronze horse."

"That's nice, where's the clue-box?" Rachel looked around the front of the statue.

"And that rock underneath the horseman is the largest rock ever moved by mankind," Ross informed Rachel as they looked high and low at the front of the giant rock, behind the hedges for the clue.

"Can we stop with the history lecture?" Rachel asked.

"Okay, fine," Ross walked around the pedestal.

"Do you see it anywhere?" Rachel started to walk around the reddish rock.

"Nope," Ross shook his head.

"Ross! Ross! It's here!" Rachel came back a few seconds later with a yellow envelope in her hand.

"Good job, Rach!" Ross gave her the thumbs up.

"And we are going to China!" Rachel exclaimed.

"A woohoo! I've been to China!" Ross grinned, "Where in China?"

"Chengdu," Rachel attempted to pronounce the name.

"Never been there, but it's where all the pandas are!" Ross exclaimed.

"Cool, our next clue is going to be at the Panda Base. They are so cute!" Rachel gushed as she and Ross headed out of the Senate Square to look for another taxi to take them to the airport.

**P/|\J**

"And the bad-taxi luck strikes again," Phoebe exclaimed when she and Joey finally got out of the taxi.

"I know," Joey groaned, "It took us like twenty minutes to get a taxi, and Simon and Roger got one before us!"

"After this leg is over Joey, we have to do this ritual that will turn this crappy luck around, you in?"

"Oh yeah, let's look for the next clue, Phoebs!" Joey vaulted across the hedges and walked around the large slab of granite. Phoebe dashed after him.

"Well, that's one massive slab of rock – and all in one piece!" Phoebe admired in awe.

"Yeah, I wonder how they got it here!" Joey scratched his head, "That horseman's got a fancy stone."

"He's probably some tsar or something," Phoebe replied knowingly.

"A what?"

"That's what they called Russian kings back then," Phoebe explained.

"Oh. Look – there's the clue-box!" Joey ran around the rock and came back a few moments later with the envelope. He ripped it open and handed it to Phoebe.

"Oh, we are going to China!" Phoebe exclaimed, "I've always wanted to go there!"

"Nice, maybe some hot Asian chicks will be there," Joey grinned.

"Joey!"

"Sorry Phoebs, let's get ourselves a cab!"

"You've got it!"

The two of them went looking for another taxi, hoping for better taxi karma this time around.

**M/|\C**

"So, the earliest time you guys can fly in to Chengdu, China will be 7:00 AM in Chinese Standard Time," the travel agent informed Chandler and Monica, "The flight I am mentioning will have a layover in Beijing, which is a huge hub. It will take a nine hour flight to get to Beijing, and a one hour and a half flight to get to your final stop."

"Are you sure this is the earliest?" Monica inquired.

"Dead sure, dead sure," the agent nodded, "I checked other airlines for you too, the next plane won't arrive until nine, from Beijing. You can trust me; I am an independent who's not affiliated with any particular airline."

"Okay, we will take the tickets," Chandler sighed, "Pity that the plane doesn't leave until five!"

"Yeah, we are going to lose our lead, again!" Monica added.

"Alright, here you go, have fun in China – even though from what I hear, it's awfully hot there," the agent waved them off.

"Hot!" Chandler exclaimed, "Oh no!"

"Can't be any worse than Egypt, honey," Monica looked on the bright side, "Now what are we going to do for the next six hours?"

"Learn some Chinese," Chandler grinned, "There's got to be some Chinese speaking people around here somewhere!"

**H/|\P**

"Oh ho! You want to learn some Chinese?" Harry exclaimed at Chandler at the gate.

"Yeah, don't you?" Chandler asked the twin.

"Oh, we are Chinese," Patrick grinned, "And we can teach you some Mandarin – if you really want it!"

"Best if you could. And don't play tricks on me like substituting the word hello for something like penis," Chandler groaned, "People do that way too often."

"Oh okay – damn, we got caught on that one! Even before the teaching!" Harry frowned at his brother.

"That's okay; we can trick someone else later!" Patrick grinned.

"Oh, I am in – if you would teach me," Chandler smirked.

"Okay, let's get started. What do you know?" Harry asked.

"I don't know anything," Chandler smiled.

"Let's start from scratch," Patrick suggested, "Hello is ni hao!"

"Ni hao!" Chandler copied.

"Not quite, but it's okay," Harry grinned.

"Ni hao!" Chandler tried again.

"It's Ni hao!" Patrick repeated.

"I can't hear the difference!" Chandler groaned.

"Oh that's common, but it will make a heck of a difference to the Chinese," Harry informed.

"Well, good thing we've got five hours left to learn this!" Chandler replied.

"Oh yeah, we will have you speaking like a pro in no time flat!" Patrick grinned, inanely.

**P/|\J**

"So guys, how do you say how you doing in Chinese?" Joey asked the twins, who were still teaching Chandler some more words.

Patrick and Harry shared grins and gave Chandler the wink.

"Joey, it is wǒ shi yī gè da shǎ zi!" Patrick replied back, deadpan. _(I am a big idiot!)_

Joey tried several attempts before Harry told him that it was good, and Joey ran off to look for some Asian chicks to try it on. Just when he left, Harry and Patrick laughed very hard.

"So what did you end up telling him?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah?" Chandler added.

"I am a big idiot!" Harry grinned, "Wonder what the girls have to say to that!"

"Oh that's so evil!" Monica broke down into a giggle fit.

"I know!" Patrick sniggered, "We do it all the time! I was going to do that to Chandler but he called us out on it before we could start."

"He's got the intuition, bro," Harry grinned.

"Where are Ross and Rachel? They actually left the place a heck of lot earlier than we did!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"I don't know – I haven't seen them!" Monica replied back.

"Hey guys!" Roger's cheery voice greeted the lot.

"Guess who got the last tickets on this flight!" Simon grinned.

"Let me see," Chandler looked around, "That couple over there!"

"Nope, we did!" Roger grinned, "So it's us, the four teams!"

"And I've got a strange question. Why is Joey going up to all these Chinese girls over there, saying something weird, and they are all laughing at him?" Simon inquired.

"Oh, guess who got screwed over in Chinese lessons?" Chandler quipped.

"You wouldn't!" Simon replied with mock horror.

"Oh yes we would!" Harry grinned inanely.

"So what is he saying?" Roger asked.

"I am a big idiot!" Phoebe explained.

"Oh hahahaha! That is so cruel!" Simon laughed.

"Don't tell him! I don't think he's figured it out yet!" Patrick pointed across the walkway, where Joey was chatting up several giggly girls who were about to embark on a plane to Shanghai in about an hour.

A while later, a dejected Joey slumped back to the group of teams.

"So how did it go?" Harry asked pleasantly.

"Not good. Those Chinese chicks! Too giggly!" Joey sighed.

"Really, maybe it's just how you are saying it!" Chandler remarked casually, "It's all in the pronunciation."

"Really?" Joey looked at Chandler questioningly.

"Yeah, I think you need another phrase, Joey!" Harry grinned.

"Oh yeah, definitely," Patrick added.

"Oh! What? What?" Joey jumped up and down in excitement.

"Okay, we shall tell you," Patrick replied.

"Tell me!" Joey exclaimed.

"Okay, it is wǒ yǒu yí gè xiǎo yīn jīng," Harry supplied mischievously.

Joey took another few tries before the brothers approved of his pronunciation. He then returned to the girls from the gate across. Harry and Patrick stifled their laughter.

"Oh my god, let me guess what you just told him to say," Chandler grinned.

"Okay, what did we tell him to say?" Patrick smirked, "We are very innocent people, you know!"

"Let me guess – something about his genitals," Simon replied nonchalantly.

"Hey! I was going to say that!" Chandler retorted.

"What is he saying now?" Phoebe asked.

"I have a small penis!" Patrick smirked, "Oh dear, I didn't think he was that gullible!"

"You guys are so bad!" Monica laughed into her hand.

"Yeah we knew from a very young age that we were going to hell!" Harry quipped.

"And I think we are all going to join you," Roger laughed, "We aren't putting a stop to this, are we?"

"Oh hell no, it will be good for Joey to be turned down by some girls now and then," Phoebe replied.

**R/|\R**

"Um... Ross, how come there's no one at our gate?" Rachel asked her boyfriend.

"I dunno, it's still early though, our plane doesn't leave until six," Ross sighed.

"You don't think we got screwed over by the travel agent do you? I see another flight leaving at five for Beijing." Rachel looked at the departure board.

"Maybe we've got an earlier connecting flight. That man had an honest face!" Ross replied.

"Hopefully," Rachel sighed, "But I have a feeling that we aren't on the earliest flight."

"Yeah, I don't think this is right, at all." Ross groaned.

"Hey guys!" Meredith and her dad showed up.

"Hey, have you seen anyone else?" Rachel asked the brunette.

"Nope, I thought they got on the earlier flight," Meredith sighed.

"An earlier flight!" Ross exclaimed.

"Yeah, it already left – fifteen minutes early!" Meredith's dad replied back.

"It already left!" Ross was flabbergasted.

"Seriously!" Rachel groaned in dismay.

"It doesn't matter, all the tickets were sold out anyways," Meredith sighed, "Arlene and Yvonne are on this flight, I just talked to them outside the bathroom, and we have no idea where Trevor and Natasha are – ugh."

"We did get conned by that agent!" Ross just added two and two together.

"I told you so!" Rachel reprimanded, "You were just taken away by his honest face! I knew we should have talked to another agent! We were at the airport earlier than Phoebe or Roger and Simon!"

"Sorry Rach, I screwed up!" Ross groaned.

"Well, sorry isn't going to cut it Ross! We dropped like three places!" Rachel almost yelled out in frustration.

"I am sorry! I should've consulted more than one travel agent!" Ross groaned, "Or looked at the departure boards!"

"Guys, calm down – it isn't the end of the world," Arlene walked towards them.

"Yeah, there's still going to be seven teams left at the end of this leg – so we are all good," Yvonne added, "I seriously hope Trevor and Natasha get kicked off this leg – I can't believe they are still here!"

"I know!" Arlene groaned.

Rachel was still seething in frustration while Ross found himself berating himself for not double – heck triple checking for the best flight option.

**M/|\C ~ P/|\J ~ S/|\R ~ H/|\P**

The four teams found themselves at Chengdu Shuangliu International Airport at dawn, surrounded by surprisingly large masses of people. Customs took a while to clear, but the four teams sprinted out of there as quickly as they could as they went through the usual routine of chasing down a taxi. With their usual taxi-flagging skill, Monica and Chandler were able to flag down the first taxi. Chandler found himself using the small repertoire of Mandarin that he had managed to learn during the five hours at the airport in Russia.

"Dà xióng māo!" Chandler was trying to explain to the cabbie. _(Pandas!)_

"Ah! Xióng Māo Jī dì!" The taxi-driver replied back. _(Panda Base?)_

Chandler shrugged to Monica.

"Sounds right to me," Monica whispered to Chandler.

"Yeah," Chandler nodded.

"Hǎo," Chandler replied back to the driver. _(Good!)_

The driver sped off from the taxi stand.

"I wish I had one modicum part of their skill!" Harry exclaimed when he saw Chandler and Monica get into the cab.

"Yeah, we might speak the language, but we ain't got the taxi abilities," Patrick groaned.

"Oh here's one! Chū zū chē, chū zū chē!" Harry waved to a recently vacant green and yellow taxi. _(Taxi! Taxi!)_

"Whew, that was good," Patrick breathed a sigh as the brothers unloaded their stuff into the trunk.

"Xóng Māo Jī dì!" Harry exclaimed at the driver, "Qǐng kuài!" _(Panda base, fast please!)_

"Wèi shén me zhè me kuài?" the taxi driver asked curiously. _(Why the hurry?)_

"Bǐ sài yī bǎi wàn měi yuán!" Patrick yelled urgently. _(Race for one million dollars!)_

"Zài zhè zhǒng qíng kuàng xià, wǒ men zǒu de fēi cháng kuài!" The taxi driver grinned. _(In these circumstances, we shall go extremely fast!)_

"Xiè xie ní, xiān sheng!" Harry looked gratefully at the driver as he took off at a fast speed. _(Thank you, mister!)_

"You know, what are the odds of us going to Shanghai next? I would love to visit there!" Patrick whispered to his brother.

"Yeah, me too, we haven't been back in a decade!" Harry grinned.

"I know, kind of miss our birthplace," Patrick smiled.

"Yeah, but let's visit the pandas first!" Harry refocused on their goal.

"Nǐ men shì Měi guó rén mín ma?" The cabbie asked the twins. _(You guys are Americans?)_

"Shì de, dàn wǒ men zài Shàng hǎi chū shēng," Patrick replied. _(Yeah, but we were born in Shanghai!)_

"Nǐ de pǔ tōng huà fēi cháng hǎo!" The cabbie complimented. _(Your Mandarin is pretty good!)_

"Yīng gāi shì 。 Wǒ men qù Měi guó dāng wǒ men shí sì suì!" Harry retorted back. _(Should be, we didn't go to America until we were fourteen.)_

"Dàn wǒ men wàng jì le yì xiē, yóu qí shì xiě zuò!" Patrick interjected. _(We forgot a bit, especially the writing!)_

"Kě lǐ jiě de!" _(Understandable!)_

Phoebe and Joey had a bit of a rougher time looking for taxis. They pushed through the mobs of people, but they pushed back, but eventually got to the road where there were taxis. After some time waiting, Phoebe had managed to seize a car after some people vacated it. Phoebe spoke no Chinese, but she was ready with another imaginative plan. She and Joey had laboriously drawn a panda on a piece of paper on the plane, and had some Chinese gentleman write 熊猫基地 on the piece of paper – which read Panda Base. They showed it to their cabbie and were immediately understood. Their taxi soon sped away, leaving Roger and Simon taxi-less, and confused about the queue system, which was actually to tell you the truth, non-existent.

But they weren't about to give up though. Shortly a few moments later, Simon determinedly waded through the crowd, which did let him pass – since he was a bit of a giant. He somehow – he didn't understand how – managed to get a taxi to stop and he and his partner got into the cab after depositing their bags in the trunk. Fortunately their cabbie understood what Panda meant, and was able to deduce correctly that they wanted to head off to the Panda base – for he knew a little bit of English, which set Roger and Simon's minds at ease.

"Wow, and we were the people to get the little-bit-of-English speaking cabbie!" Roger grinned, "Lucky us!"

"Yup, our luck is turning!" Simon replied back happily, "I thought we would never get a taxi!"

"Yeah!" Roger exclaimed.

"Pity we weren't listening during Chandler's Mando sessions, we could have learned a bit!" Simon sighed.

"Yeah, that's true, but the thing with Joey was so amusing! I can't believe he still doesn't know!" Roger smirked, "They really did manage to convince him that the words he was using were correct – just that he was pronouncing it weird!"

"Some things are too funny," Simon grinned, "But Joey's a good guy."

"Yeah, good-natured," Roger replied back.

**M/|\C**

"Oh wow, here we are!" Chandler and Monica had retrieved their packs from the back of the green-painted car and walked towards the Tourist Information building in front of them – which was marked by one of those yellow/red flags that they had seen throughout the race.

"The Panda Base," Monica replied back, as Chandler opened the door for her.

They followed the markers that lined the room and out of the building into the reserve area outside. The yellow and red markers continued along the path – flags attached to wooden stakes. Monica and Chandler jogged at a brisk pace and eventually wound up in front of the large Research building. They went in, and were immediately brought to a small room by a man in a lab coat. Inside the room, there were two people, a young woman holding a young panda, and a photographer.

"Okay, so one of you, will hold the panda here, like this," The woman showed them the correct way to hold the animal and gently placed the panda into Monica's arms and lap.

"Aw... it's so cute!" Monica cooed at the rather large, slightly squirming white and black bundle.

"Yeah," Chandler grinned.

"Okay, so sit down on the chair here," the man holding a camera indicated to Monica, "And you can stand beside her."

"Alright," Chandler and Monica followed the man's directions, and he took several pictures before he was finally satisfied with the result.

"Now, you will have to wait five minutes for the pictures to develop," the woman said, "But what you are holding is Tiān Shān, he was born less than a year ago."

"Oh wow, and he's already so big!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Yeah, and he will get bigger as the years go on," the lady informed, "Lots of tourists come here to take pictures with the pandas."

"I can see why!" Monica grinned, "Tian Shan is adorable!"

Chandler and Monica spent the rest of the minutes watching the panda on Monica's lap, and Chandler also got a chance to hold the panda bear. Not too long later, the photographer emerged with some pictures in a sealed water-proof envelope, stiffened with cardboard.

"Here you are. Thank you for your patience – and here's your next clue. Good luck!"

Monica returned Tian Shan back to his handler and they both exited the room just as Harry and Patrick sauntered in.

Once the couple was outside the room, Chandler tore open the envelope that he had been given.

"Detour – Write or Work!"

"Write – copy down the Chinese characters of a storybook.. Work – carry nineteen kilograms of bamboo to the Adult Giant Panda house from the Research facility." Monica continued reading.

"Hm... the weather isn't too hot here," Chandler remarked to his wife.

"Yeah, nineteen kilos of bamboo? I don't know how much that is." Monica sighed, "Plus we are probably going to have to walk back too since according to the map provided, it's quite far in."

"Yeah, so let's write!" Chandler began looking for the signs of the detour.

**P/|\J**

"So we are going to do the labour task. Those Chinese characters are so complicated!" Joey exclaimed as he and Phoebe walked towards the bamboo area. Fortunately for them, the bamboo was already tightly bundled in packages of four and a quarter kilograms each.

"Yeah," Phoebe lifted up one of the bundles, "Not bad!"

Joey did the same, "Not bad? It's kind of heavy. No! It is heavy!"

"And how many pounds are nineteen kilos anyways?" Phoebe asked.

"Don't ask me! I can't do the math!" Joey frowned, while placing back the bundle on the ground.

"I think it's around twenty pounds," Phoebe mused, "Come on Joey!"

"And we have to carry two each?" Joey groaned.

"Yup." Phoebe picked up another bundle under her other arm before exiting the room. Joey sighed, picked up two bundles and followed his partner.

**H/|\P**

"Dude, I think I forgot all my characters!" Patrick groaned when looking at the pages of Chinese text that they were supposed to copy out for the detour.

"Yeah, I recognize like one in every eight characters," Harry frowned.

"Damn it! Let's just start copying and not worry about what exactly we are writing." Patrick suggested.

"Yeah, that's a lot of text to copy," Harry flipped through the pages.

"How about this, you copy these pages, and I copy those!" Patrick grabbed another book from the pile of books.

"Are they the same book?" Harry looked at his brother sceptically.

"Yes, they are," Patrick compared the covers, "Okay, you do half – I do half."

"Deal!"

**M/|\C**

Monica and Chandler had been at the detour earlier than the twins, and had, like Harry and Patrick, split the work in half as well. Unlike the twins, they had absolutely no idea what they were writing and absolutely no prior knowledge on how to form the strokes.

"Damn it, they have a very big advantage over us," Monica sighed, "Not fair!"

"Yeah," Chandler replied back, "But we just have to make our letters look like the letters."

"They aren't even letters, they are symbols," Monica corrected.

"I wonder what we are writing." Chandler mused, "It could be complete gibberish for all I know."

"It could have been worse, they could have asked us to use brushes to write the characters and asked us to read the text to them afterwards," Monica sighed.

"That's true." Chandler replied back, "It could always be worse."

"Yeah, I am done the first page!" Monica placed her completed page aside.

"And so am I! Only five more pages to go!" Chandler sighed.

**P/|\J**

"I am so tired!" Joey groaned when they were walking up one of the many paths of the reserve.

"Yeah, the sun is getting hotter, I am still tired from the jet-lag, can't think straight..." Phoebe added.

"Are you sure we are going the right way? I mean, there's nothing here!" Joey exclaimed.

"I think we need a rest." Phoebe panted, "I need water."

"Okay," Joey settled down his bundles on the ground and sat down. "Ow!"

"The ground is hot, isn't it?" Phoebe grinned, "Sit on the grass!"

"Right," Joey moved his butt to the grass.

"You think we could steal a panda? They are so cute!" Phoebe mused.

"Maybe we could! But they eat a lot – if we are bringing all this food to them!" Joey pointed to the bamboo.

"Oh the cubs are tiny, maybe I will just slip one into my pocket!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Maybe," Joey grinned.

"Wonder if anyone else is doing our detour – or are they all happily inside, writing?" Phoebe asked.

"I have no idea – for one thing, I don't know if we can make it! I am sore everywhere!" Joey frowned, "And I swear, I could not get any yesterday at the airport!"

"Oh you can always keep trying," Phoebe sighed. She could hardly remember what happened at the airport yesterday – she just wanted to sleep.

Joey sighed too, "Sometimes, I wish I was at home. I mean this race is fun and everything but I am exhausted!"

"Same here Joey, same here!"

**H/|\P**

"Hurry up Patrick, I am almost done!" Harry exclaimed at his brother, while furiously writing on his paper.

"I am trying!" Patrick groaned, "My hand is cramped!"

"So is mine! I don't sit and write all day, y'know!" Harry complained.

"Neither do I!" Patrick grimaced, "I am not a scribe, and I am pretty sure we've been writing non-stop for an hour!"

"Who knew they could fit so many characters on ten double-sided pages!" Harry mused.

"I sure didn't," Patrick retorted, "And –"

"Oh look, they are finished!" Harry exclaimed, when the saw Monica and Chandler run up to one of the supervisors and handed him their papers.

"Wow, I am amazed!" Patrick replied back, "Well, it's basically copying, and even though we did do some school in China, we forgot everything."

"Yeah," Harry sighed, "And they did have a head-start of fifteen minutes –"

"Hey, I am done!" Patrick put down his pencil, "And who were you calling slow earlier?"

"Psh! I only did that so you would write faster!" Harry retorted.

"Hmph!"

"Okay, let's go!" Harry grabbed his pages and Patrick grabbed his own and the two of them showed them to the supervisor.

**P/|\J**

"So here we are!" Phoebe stopped in front of a tarp, with the sign "Please place bamboo here!".

"Finally – I thought my arms were going to fall off!" Joey quipped.

"Yeah mine too!" Phoebe massaged her sore arms.

"And that's nineteen kilograms! Thanks guys!" A t-shirt and shorts wearing youth grinned at them, "And here's your next clue!"

"Thanks!" Joey grabbed the envelope and ripped it.

"Roadblock!" Phoebe looked at the contents, after grabbing the envelope from Joey.

"What is it?" Joey asked.

"Who's ready for some Fowl play?"

"I am not! What is fowl anyways?"

"It refers to birds!"

"Birds? Couldn't they just have said that?"

"Nope, and it's my turn to do the detour," Phoebe grinned.

"Alright Phoebs, what are we going to do?"

"First, we get a taxi," Phoebe was already running back along the path that they came from.

"Oh look there's Simon and Roger!" Joey yelled.

"Hi guys! Bye guys!" Phoebe greeted them before running off. Joey chased after her after he nodded politely to the incoming couple.

"Well, that was weird," Roger remarked to Simon as they both headed off towards the drop-off spot.

**R/|\R**

"Oh my god! We are so behind now!" Rachel exclaimed to Ross as soon as they left the airport.

"I know, let's just stay focused and make up some ground, hopefully," Ross sighed.

The two of them had managed to hail a taxi and Ross was able to communicate to the taxi driver using a brochure he had found earlier in one of the tourist information desks at the airport.

"We are like, two plus hours behind!" Rachel continued her litany of complaints.

"I know, I know!" Ross replied, "Can we stop talking about that?"

"Yeah," Rachel sighed, "I know complaining doesn't help but it sure feels good!"

"I just hope we aren't last," Ross frowned, "I don't want to be eliminated in China!"

"Me too!" Rachel sighed again.

When their taxi had arrived at the Panda Base, Ross and Rachel were all business and walked briskly to follow all the signs and markers that were there. Arlene and Yvonne had managed to arrive before them so they found themselves frantically scurrying to the Research Building to get their pictures taken with Tian Shan.

"Aw..." Rachel grinned when Tian Shan's handler handed her the big furry panda.

"The level of adorableness has exploded the cuteness meter," Ross quipped, while reaching down to pat the soft fur of the panda.

"What does Tian Shan mean anyways?" Rachel asked the handler.

"Sky Mountain," she replied back, "He likes people, so we use him quite often for tourist photo-shoots!"

"Wow, you English is good!" Ross remarked.

"Oh thanks, I was actually born in Canada, you know. I came back here to research pandas!" Tian Shan's handler grinned.

"Oh," That was what Ross could manage after.

"Don't worry, I get that a lot!" She grinned, "Obviously I wasn't white-washed enough when I was growing up."

"Say Cheese guys!" The photographer grinned.

"Cheese!" The flash went off.

The photographer took several more shots before he stopped.

"Five minutes!"

"What do you guys say instead of Cheese here?" Ross asked curiously.

"Oh we say eggplant," the handler grinned, "In Mandarin, obviously. It's not a really smiley word in English."

**M/|\C**

"So, we are going to a farm," Chandler observed when he and Monica had finally found a taxi after looking for one outside the Panda Base.

"Yeah we are, what do you think Fowl Play means?" Monica asked.

"Birds obviously, but I don't know what!" Chandler exclaimed.

"I am doing the Roadblock, right?" Monica asked her husband.

"Yeah, if you want to," Chandler replied back.

"Okay, so I might as well open it." Monica opened the Roadblock clue, "Herd ducks from one field to another!"

"Ducks!" Chandler grinned, "I probably should have done this detour; we did after all, raise fowl."

"If you guys could call that raising," Monica smirked.

"Hey, we were very good chick and duck watchers!" Chandler retorted.

**H/|\P**

"Harry, this one is all on you!" Patrick exclaimed when the twins arrived at the duck-herding area.

Monica and Chandler, the twins and Phoebe and Joey had arrived pretty much minutes of each other, and the six of them had walked around the farm – which had chickens, horses, pigs and a lot of crops – including rice paddies. Joey and Patrick were covered in mud – having fallen into a mud-pit.

"Yeah, I am a champion duck-herder!" Harry flexed his muscles.

"Yeah, like you need those to drive ducks from one place to another," Chandler quipped.

"Oh shut up, at least I have some!" Harry grinned.

"Shut up!" Chandler exclaimed.

"And I have to change!" Patrick groaned, "Mud is everywhere!"

"Told you to watch out!" Phoebe reprimanded, "But no, you guys walked straight into it!"

"Hey! That was invisible!" Joey groaned, "It looked like normal grassy ground!"

"Oh here they are!" Monica pointed at three orange areas, fenced off with netting. Each area contained a bridge that spanned across a river, and two different fenced off locations on both sides of the river.

"So how are supposed to herd them?" Harry asked the farmer, wearing a pointy farmer's hat to protect himself from the shade.

The farmer handed Monica, Phoebe and Harry two orange flags each. "Okay, what you guys have to do is to get the ducks from one side of the river to the other – and bolt the pen. Since there are only three pens, you have a time limit of fifteen minutes to get all the ducks into the pen – before giving another team a try. As for the herding, you will have to figure it out. Good luck!"

"So what am I supposed to do with these?" Harry quipped, waving the flags, "Wave them?"

"Oh, don't be a smart-ass!" Patrick groaned, "I thought you were smart!"

Monica however had already gotten into her pen and held out her flags in a V-shaped position and started to chase around the ducks in the pen. Phoebe had done the same.

"Harry, just get in there!" Patrick groaned.

Harry entered his own pen and spread his flags out. The ducks were white, and brown and there were over a hundred ducks in the pen.

"Oh dear god, that's a lot of ducks!" Harry groaned.

"Quack!" Patrick replied back, doing wing motions with his arms.

"Oh shut up!"

Chandler watched with great amusement as he watched his wife run around in circles in the pen, trying to round up all the ducks, but there was always one or two or three stragglers that refused to join the herded group, so as a result, she was running around in circles. Phoebe was having no better luck.

"Wow, this is definitely one scene that I never imagined that I will see," Chandler remarked to Joey, and Patrick. They were all sitting on some wooden benches nearby.

"Yeah, Harry should never be a duck farmer – I mean look at that!" Patrick pointed to his brother who had lost one of his flags while trying to gather all the ducks up in a bunch.

"I could eat some duck!" Joey replied wistfully.

"Me too! Peking duck roasted with crispy skin!" Patrick sighed dreamily.

"Sounds good!" Joey smiled at the twin.

"Monica, you got them now!" Chandler exclaimed at his wife when she had managed to get all the ducks between her two flags and was trying to drive them across the narrow bridge.

"Well, not anymore," Joey replied back when he saw Monica trip over something.

"This is harder than it looks!" Monica called back, after getting up.

"I know!" Phoebe shouted from her pen, "I could kill them all if I could!"

"Quack, quack, quack – just get over the bridge – PLEASE!" Harry desperately flailed his flags around in an attempt to get the ducks to co-operate.

"Oh crap guys, here's Simon and Roger!" Patrick exclaimed when he saw two figures walking towards the river.

"Wow, this is the most entertaining thing ever!" Roger looked at the desperate racers in the pens.

"Well, it's my turn to do the detour," Simon grinned.

"Quack, you know you want to!" Harry overheard the conversation.

"Just herd your ducks!" Patrick hollered back.

Monica switched places with Simon, and she walked to the table that the guys were sitting at.

"Whew, those ducks are so frustrating!" Monica groaned.

"Well, no one else could get them to co-operate," Chandler said reassuringly to his wife, while reaching for her hand.

"Yeah, this would totally be on America's Funniest Videos," Patrick grinned when he watched his brother drop his flag again and yell expletives at the ducks.

"Oh, look at Simon, he's got his ducks!" Joey exclaimed.

"Go Simon!" Roger yelled as his partner had all the ducks under his V-shape of his two flags.

"Oh look, he goes across the bridge!" Joey continued his commentary.

"Oh look, he missed a few!" Chandler pointed to the leftover ducks.

"Damn it! I was so close!" Simon swore as all the ducks came racing back to the initial pen.

Phoebe and Harry came back out of their pens, as their fifteen minutes were up.

"Whew, I've got duck feathers everywhere!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Yeah, me too!" Harry plucked off a feather from his shirt.

"This is probably the hardest Roadblock!" Monica sighed.

"Oh it definitely is – I wonder how long we will be here!" Harry mused.

For the next ten or so minutes, everyone watched Simon's attempts – his first attempt had actually been the best so far, and Chandler burst out laughing when one of the ducks from his pen settled down on the ground and refused to budge.

"Now that's what you call a sitting duck!" Chandler quipped.

"Oh yeah! Simon is getting so frustrated!" Harry grinned, as he watched Simon poke the duck with one of the flags – with no results.

"Aha, my fifteen minutes are up! I am trying again!" Monica removed her hand from Chandler's lap and strode towards the pen.

"Good luck, Mon!" Chandler called out, "Remember, take your time!"

Monica walked over to the ducks with her flags and determinedly jumped the pen. She chased them all into a corner with her flags, making sure none were left behind, before coaxing them to move towards the bridge.

In the other pen, Simon had managed to get the duck that he had issues with to stand up, but his formerly bunched up group of ducks were scattered throughout the pen again. He frowned and ran around the pen again, in an effort to corral them.

"Oh look! Monica's got them on the bridge!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Mon! Keep going!" Chandler yelled.

"Quack!" Joey shouted.

"Oh look, Simon's coming back! Phoebs, let's go!" Harry exclaimed.

"Goddamned ducks!" Simon seethed.

"Calm down!" Roger passed a water bottle and a towel to Simon, who promptly took a long drink and wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"Must not strangle ducks!" Simon continued on.

Harry and Phoebe picked up their flags from beside the pen and went into their individual pens for their second attempt.

"Look, Monica's got them across the bridge!" Joey exclaimed.

"Oh my god, oh my god!" Patrick shouted.

"Shut the pen! Shut the pen!" Chandler hollered at the top of his voice.

"AND..." Simon exclaimed.

"She does it!" Joey yells, jumping up from his chair and spraying pieces of dried up mud everywhere.

"Joey! Remember, you are covered in mud!" Patrick removed a Kleenex from his bag and started to wipe his shirt.

"Sorry!"

"Oh no, Monica left out three ducks!" Chandler pointed to three idling ducks on their side of the river.

"Oh that's okay! Three ducks are easier than three hundred!" Patrick grinned.

"No shit!" Roger replied back.

They all watched as Monica ran across the bridge and chased the last three ducks into another corner before shepherding sternly across the bridge.

"Look at those glares she's giving them!" Joey exclaimed.

"Well, I would be pissed off too," Simon grinned, "I don't understand how none of them have had the sitting duck problem yet!"

"You are just special, Simon!" Patrick sniggered.

"Oh look! She's opening the gate again!" Joey yelled.

"That's one duck in!" Chandler exclaimed.

"That's two!" Patrick squinted.

"Phew! Three ducks!" Chandler breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh look, Phoebe's got them halfway across the bridge!" Joey exclaimed.

"And in Pen number three, well, Harry is still running around like a headless chicken with two long sticks!" Chandler turned his attention to the other pen.

"Yeah, I have to agree with you there," Patrick grinned.

"Noooo! Stupid ducks!" Phoebe stomped furiously when they broke through her flag barrier, when Phoebe accidentally lifted the flags up too high.

"Deep breaths Phoebe, deep breaths!" Joey called out.

"Chandler, we are done!" Monica called out.

Chandler jumped out of the chair and the couple shared a kiss before running off somewhere private so that they can look at their next clue.

**R/|\R**

Ross and Rachel were panting when they finally reached the tarp where they could finally unload their four bundles of bamboo.

"Oh my god! I am going to fall down and die!" Ross groaned when he finally dropped off his bundle.

"No time to die Ross, we've got some ground to make up!" Rachel received their next clue from one of the people standing outside.

"Roadblock – something to do with fowl," Ross looked over the card.

"You want to do it, or do I?" Rachel asked.

"Well, I did two roadblocks, you did one," Ross counted.

"Oh fine, I will do it!" Rachel opened the Roadblock card to read the details. "Herd ducks!"

"Let's go get a taxi," Ross suggested, "We've still got to walk all the way back!"

**H/|\P ~ S/|\R ~ P/|\J**

"I hate ducks! I hate ducks! I hate ducks!" Harry threw his flag onto the ground after his second attempt was over.

"Me too! Bad ducks!" Phoebe cursed the ducks behind her as she and Harry made their way back to the bench.

"How did Monica get so lucky?" Harry groaned, "It's horrible!"

"I know!" Patrick soothed his twin.

"We've been here for almost an hour!" Joey looked at his watch.

"Go Simon!" Roger called out to his partner, who was currently trying to direct the ducks across the bridge.

"And that bridge is awfully slippery for some reason," Phoebe said to Harry, who nodded.

"Oh yeah, I almost fell!"

"It's probably because it's so wet," Phoebe sighed, "Not to mention I stepped in duck shit!"

"Me too!" Harry made a face, "Terrible, just terrible."

"Why is that shit white anyways?" Phoebe mused.

"Yeah that's a good question!" Joey exclaimed.

"Oh, that shit isn't actually shit," Harry replied.

"Really?" Patrick asked his brother, "Looks pretty legit to me!"

"It's actually more like pee. Made up of uric acid!" Harry explained.

"What? That can't be right!" Patrick looked at his brother bewilderingly.

"Yeah, I think you are having one on us, aren't you?" Phoebe exclaimed.

"I like how that we are sitting in the middle of China, having a discussion about fowl poop," Simon remarked.

"Oh yeah!" Harry grinned, "Look at Simon!"

Everyone grinned except Roger when Simon slipped on the wooden bridge and all the ducks wildly ran off the bridge.

"Hey, at least half the ducks are going to the right side!" Joey quipped.

**M/|\C**

"So Phil should be somewhere around this river?" Chandler asked Monica.

"Yeah, that's what the clue said." Monica kept walking.

"Can't believe it's noon right now, and we are almost there!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Oh look, there he is!" Monica pointed to a large shady tree, where Phil was standing with a young Chinese boy who looked no older than ten.

"How do we cross the river?" Chandler looked confused.

"What are all these long sticks for?" Monica asked, pointing to several sticks on the grounds that were just as tall as her.

"Um... Check out that sign!" Chandler pointed to a hastily hammered in cardboard sign stuck to a wooden stake.

"Pole vault over," Monica read, "And the river is a lot narrower here than at the ducks!"

"You must be kidding me!" Chandler groaned, "I have no upper arm strength!"

"And, if we don't make it over..." Monica trailed off.

"We fall into the muddy water!" Chandler groaned.

"This is wonderful..." Monica sighed.

"Okay, I am going to go first!" Chandler lifted one of the sticks with his two hands.

"Be careful, honey!" Monica watched as Chandler hefted the stick and took a running sprint towards the river. He gradually lowered the stick in to the muddy waters and leapt up.

"I think I am stuck!" Chandler cried out, clinging onto the vaulting stick that was stuck in the middle of the river.

"Lean to your left!" Monica yelled.

"I can't – I am slipping! Argh!" Chandler fell into the mud.

"Ick!" Monica shuddered.

Chandler clambered to the other side of the river – all saturated with mud.

"Okay, here goes nothing!" Monica retrieved one of the sticks from the ground and ran towards the river. She gracefully flew over the air and reached the other side.

"Tada!"

"Some people were meant to be athletic," Chandler groaned as they trudged to Phil beneath the leaves, "And others, not so much."

**H/|\P ~ P/|\J ~ R/|\S**

Phoebe slammed on the pen door with great force when the last duck went in. She could almost jump in joy. She had finally managed to get all the ducks without losing a single one over the bridge after her fourth attempt. Harry, in the pen beside her had four more ducks left on the other side – but for the most part, his ducks were all on the correct side.

"Fucking fowl!" Harry cursed as he rounded up the last four ducks and chased them over the bridge.

"This is complete misery!" Phoebe groaned.

"Yeah, we are done, Phoebs!" Joey exclaimed.

"About time too!" Patrick exclaimed at his brother, who was returning back from the other side of the river.

"So what does the clue say?" Patrick exclaimed eagerly, "The pit stop?"

"Yeah, our next checkpoint is somewhere along the river – that way!" Harry exclaimed.

"Well, what are we waiting for – let's move!"

The two teams hustled away, leaving Roger and Simon alone.

**R/|\R**

"Hey guys!" Arlene, Yvonne, Ross and Rachel greeted Roger at the bench.

"Yeah hey," Roger replied glumly – the people on the second plane were catching up, "Simon hurry up! People from the other plane are here!"

"Damn it!" Simon yelled back.

"Where's everyone else?" Rachel inquired.

"They finished," Roger replied glumly, "Good luck with this Roadblock, you'll need it!"

"Alright, let's herd some ducks!" Rachel and Yvonne ran off to the other two pens – got the flags from the farmer supervising the task and jumped into the pens of quacking ducks that had been brought back to the original side.

Rachel, who had no clue on how to herd ducks, held her flags at an awkward angle and proceeded to chase the ducks around with it.

"Rachel – hold them lower so the ducks can't get through!" Ross shouted.

"Okay!" Rachel did what her boyfriend told her to do, and chased the ducks all around the pen, in an effort to get them all bunched together.

Yvonne had her flags out and was trying to get every individual stray duck into her formation, but every time she got one duck in, two ducks managed to escape.

"Oh dear lord! This is hard!" Yvonne shook her head as another duck managed to break free from her arrangement.

**M/|\C**

"Monica and Chandler, you are the first team to arrive – congratulations!" Phil exclaimed, as Chandler buried him in a very muddy hug.

"Oh and welcome to Chengdu, China," The young boy greeted the pair of them.

"Yeah, thanks," they grinned at the young boy.

"Yay! We are first again!" Monica yelled.

"But don't celebrate yet guys!" Phil exclaimed.

"Why not?" Chandler asked him suspiciously.

"Because you guys are only done the first half of a double-leg!" Phil grinned.

"Oh no!" Monica groaned, "We aren't finished!"

"Nu uh!" Phil smiled, a bit evilly, "Here's your next clue!"

"Oh no!" Chandler's face fell.

"Better keep going guys – you don't want to lose your lead!" Phil grinned, "And for coming in first, you guys win a trip for two to Hong Kong – where you will stay in a five star hotel, try some Chinese delicacies and see all the sites in the city – but you can enjoy that later! Good luck!"

Monica and Chandler shot Phil their last looks of dismay before running off.

**H/|\P ~ P/|\J**

"Oh my god! We have to pole-vault over this!" Harry exclaimed.

"Yeah, a little bit too Tarzan for my tastes," Patrick sighed.

"Oh come on – pole vaulting is cool! Race you guys over to the other side!" Phoebe grinned as she took one of the vaulting sticks and ran hard. She dipped the stick into the river and landed halfway in the river and the ground of the other side. "Yuck! Now I am as muddy as Joey!"

"Earrggghhhhh!" Harry punted his pole and vaulted over to the other side, just shy of the water. Patrick followed suit, but instead of Harry's graceful landing at the other end of the bank, he had a spectacular face-plant onto the ground, his legs dangling in the mud.

"Look, no mud!" Harry grinned, "By the way, nice face-plant – lolz!"

"Oh shut up!" Patrick groaned as he got out from the water.

"Egad!" Joey made his flying leap over the river.

"Quick, Patrick, we've got to get to the mat!" Harry held up a hand for his brother and pulled him up, and they dashed to the mat.

"Joey! Let's go!" Phoebe ran after the twins, who were already halfway there.

"Alright Phoebs!"

"Welcome to Chengdu, China!" the little boy beside Phil greeted the twins, and Joey and Phoebe who ran in a few seconds after them.

"Xiè xie!" The twins replied back as Phoebe and Joey gave him their thanks in English.

"Harry and Patrick, you are team number two, and Phoebe and Joey, you guys are team number three. Congratulations!" Phil exclaimed.

The two teams danced around the mat.

"By the way Phil, why are you covered in mud?" Harry asked suspiciously.

"Oh, um your friend Chandler hugged me," Phil replied back, "And, I think you guys better get pumped!"

"Why is that?" Patrick replied, with more suspicion.

"Because..." Phil began dramatically.

"What, why?" Joey looked baffled.

"This isn't over. Welcome to the second part of the first double-leg in this race!"

"Nooooo!" Patrick groaned in despair.

"You are joking, right? Right?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Sorry guys, you better keep running," Phil grinned.

"Damn it!" Phoebe groaned, "I was looking forward to sleep, but no, we have to keep going!"

"Yeah!" Joey frowned.

Phil chuckled, "Here's your next clues guys, and see you at the next mat!" He handed Joey and Patrick the next yellow envelope.

"Oh my, I really wanted to catch a few winks, Patty," Harry mumbled to his brother as they got off the mat.

"Yeah me too, pity!" Patrick groaned.

"What's the next clue?" Joey asked Phoebe.

The two teams ripped their envelopes.

**S/|\R**

"Wow, how do we get across this river, Roge?" Simon asked as he looked at Phil who was standing peacefully on the other side of the river.

"Wait, there's a sign!" Roger pointed to a cardboard sign.

"It says – pole-vaulting," Simon made out the scrawl on the board.

"And here are some really long sticks," Roger picked one up.

"Oh no! We have to vault ourselves across!" Simon groaned.

"Oh it's easy – I used to do some pole-vaulting for gymnastics!" Roger exclaimed.

"Really, then you better go first!"

"Yeah, sure – not sure how good I am now though. Here I gooooo!" Roger stepped back and ran full speed towards the water. He dipped his pole in and took a soaring leap over the river. He landed on his feet on the other side.

"It looks easy! Let me try!" Simon copied his partner's moves and he dashed full speed to the river. He lacked Roger's upper strength and fell into the river.

"Dear, are you okay?" Roger looked at his partner with great concern.

"Oh," Simon spluttered, while spitting out mud, "This is some awful mud!"

"Just get over here and leave the pole!" Roger replied.

Simon waded his way through the wet muck and the pair of them ran to Phil.

**R/|\R**

"Quack! Please guys, can you just move to the bridge!" Rachel pleaded to her fowl charges as she chased them all over the pen.

"Quack, quack, quack," was all she heard back.

"Damn it! I've been here three times already!" She groaned to herself in frustration.

"Quack."

"Oh do shut up!" Rachel glared at the offending duck.

"Quack!"

"Damn it!" Rachel groaned. She ran around the pen for the umpteenth time when she finally managed to get all the ducks between the V of her flags. She drove the ducks to the bridge, using all of her concentration powers to make sure the flags don't dip or rise.

"Go Rachel!" She heard Ross's holler.

She got the ducks across the bridge, with a few almost-falls which she avoided with pure determination. She shepherded her ducks to the other pen and she slammed the door, before bolting it.

"Yes!" She jumped in victory. She then walked carefully across the bridge.

"Quack!"

"Oh no!" Rachel groaned in dismay when she saw one lone duck sitting at the corner of the original pen.

"Quack!" The duck looked at her defiantly.

"Oh no you don't, Quackers, you are going across that bridge and to your other fellow ducks!" Rachel attempted to scare off the duck with her flags.

It just obstinately sat there. "Quack."

"Stubborn duck!" Rachel frowned, "I must be going crazy – I am talking to ducks!"

"Quack!"

"Stop mocking me!" Rachel almost shouted out.

"Quack!"

"Oh you know what!" Rachel plunged down and grabbed the final duck in her arms. It quacked up a storm and struggled frantically against her grasp, but Rachel marched angrily back to the bridge and dropped the offending bird into the pen.

"And that's how it's done!" She exclaimed to herself, "Oh crap, I am starting to sound like Chandler!"

"Rachel, good job!" Ross ran over to give her a hug as soon as she got out of the pen.

"Thanks, honey! Let's go catch everyone else!"

"Yeah, Yvonne and Arlene and Meredith and her father already left!" Ross informed her.

"Don't remind me – Trevor is still herding the ducks – we've still got a chance!" Rachel whispered back as she received her next clue from the farmer.

After running alongside the river, Rachel and Ross could make out some blurs flying across the river.

"Did you just see what I saw?" Rachel gawked.

"What did you see?" Ross asked inquisitively.

"I swear, I just saw Meredith flying across the river!" Rachel squinted.

"Yeah, me too – you aren't seeing things," Ross reassured.

"Thanks, I thought I was going to go crazy from those ducks!" Rachel sighed.

"Look there goes Kenneth – what a splash!" Ross exclaimed when he saw Kenneth vault clumsily across the river. His flight ended in a loud plop.

"Oh crap, we better hurry!" Rachel looked behind her.

"Why?" Ross asked.

"Because the ones who argue a lot are done!"

"Oh damn it!"

"Run Ross!" Rachel put on a sprint.

A short run later, Ross and Rachel took their vaulting sticks and made their leap across the river. Ross fell in, and Rachel's left shoe failed to clear the mud. The pair ignored the dirt and ran frantically to Phil, who was still making small talk the father-daughter team.

"Ross, Rachel, come in here!" Phil waved to them as they ran up the small incline to the mat.

"Welcome to Chengdu, China!" They were greeted by the young Chinese boy.

"Thanks,"

"Ross and Rachel, you guys are team number seven, congratulations!"

"Wow, we really did fall behind this time," Rachel remarked to her boyfriend.

"No worries, this leg isn't over yet!" Phil grinned.

"What?" Meredith practically yelped.

"Nope, this is the first half of a double-leg!"

"Oh my god!" Rachel exclaimed.

"You guys better get moving, if you want to make up ground!" Phil handed Ross and Kenneth an envelope each.

The two men simultaneously ripped their envelopes open.

**TBC – To Be Continued – Don't forget to REVIEW! PLEASE :D**


	7. This Game is Dangerous!

A/N: Early update plus monster chapter. Location of today's leg is rather significant to me – I've been to this city five times in my life. All the Chinese in this leg and in the previous leg are written in pin yin form – so you can figure out what it sounds like.

On a completely unrelated note, I am beginning school this Thursday (yay!) and hopefully it will be great! Three more years of undergrad to go! Less time to write though – I am 293847 types of busy during the academic year. Oh well, can't stay at home and do nothing all day. However this development shouldn't hamper the updating of this story unless if it's exam (probably not, I want to finish this story before that period)/midterm week – but I will let you know a week in advance if there's no update on the next week. On another note, I may add one or two more legs than I originally planned.

Thanks for sticking around! There's at least six or seven more legs left in this and it's going to get more and more intense. Reviews are always appreciated and cherished! (Hint, hint, nudge, nudge!)

* * *

><p><strong>The Amazing Race: Friends Edition (6<strong>**th**** Leg) – "This game is dangerous!" - Ross**

**M/|\C**

"So, what does it say?" Monica asked her husband after they had walked several feet away from the mat. Both were still quite dazed after being hit with the news that their ordeal wasn't finished, quite yet.

Chandler ripped open the yellow and black envelope with a sigh. "Hop on a plane and travel to one of the world's largest global cities – Shanghai. Your next clue will be waiting for you at The Bund (Wài tān; 外滩) in front of one of Shanghai's most luxurious buildings – the HSBC (Xiāng gǎng Shàng hǎi huì fēng Yín háng Yǒu xiàn gōng sī; 香港上海滙豐銀行有限公司) Building. You must take public transportation once you enter Shanghai. It is recommended that you exchange some of your American dollars for renminbi to purchase Metro cards. Twenty-five dollars have been provided for this leg of the race. Good luck!"

"Something tells me we better stick with the twins during this leg," Monica mused thoughtfully.

"Why is that?" Chandler asked his wife, while flipping through the bills that had been provided.

"They did mention that they did grow up in Shanghai," Monica sighed, "Aren't they lucky!"

"Well, Shanghai has changed dramatically within the past decade, so I think they are going to be as confused as we are," Chandler speculated.

"So, how are we supposed to get a taxi in the middle of the countryside?" Monica posed a more urgent problem.

"Hm... They've got to have a telephone somewhere in the farm house – we could phone for a taxi," Chandler replied thoughtfully.

"That's smart! Let's go!"

Monica and Chandler ran back the way they came, alongside the river. They passed the ducks Roadblock, where they saw Ross and Rachel, and a few other teams still hard at work at their herding task, and eventually half a kilometre later, they found a bridge that they could cross. A good ten minutes later, they found themselves at the farmer's house, where the farmer's wife opened the door.

"How can I help you?" she asked, in slightly accented English.

"Could we use your phone to get a taxi?" Monica replied with her question.

"Oh sure, I can do it for you. Where are you guys heading off to?"

"The International Airport," Chandler replied this time.

"Okay, I will be back!"

A young toddler ran over to the front door, shortly after the farmer's wife had left to telephone for a taxi. He was dark-haired – like most Chinese kids – and had chubby cheeks. He squealed with excitement when he saw Monica and Chandler and ran over to them.

"Aw... He's so cute!" Monica whispered to Chandler.

"Ni hao!" Chandler greeted the little boy.

"Ni hao!" he chattered back.

"Hello!" Monica smiled at the little boy.

"Hi!" he replied back.

"Wang Ji Fei, nǐ zài zuò shén me ne?" The farmer's wife came back from her telephone call. _(Wang Ji Fei, what are you doing?)_

"Mā ma, bái rén, bái rén!" The little boy exclaimed to his mother, who looked a little embarrassed. _(Mama, white people, white people!)_

"White people, huh?" Chandler grinned at the little boy's exclamations. Harry and Patrick's tutoring had allowed him to understand some of the Mandarin being spoken.

"Oh don't mind him – he's just being silly!" His mother replied back, "Your taxi will be here in ten minutes."

"Oh thank you," Monica smiled back gratefully, "Don't worry about it, kids are kids! How old is he?"

"Wang Ji Fei?" She hugged her son close to her, "How old are you, Wang Ji Fei?"

The little boy held up six fingers, "Liù suì!" _(Six years old!)_

"What's that in English?" His mother asked him.

"Six! Six!" He exclaimed.

"He knows some English?" Chandler asked.

"Yes, I think it's important that they learn English – it's like the international language," she replied back, "Plus my husband grew up in America and decided to come back to run his grandfather's farm here – which he inherited later."

"Oh that's interesting – and explains his English!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Yes, I studied a little bit of English at school. You must be hungry from all that racing! I will go get some food for you. Wang Ji Fei, nǐ wán chéng nǐ de shù xué ma?" _(Wang Ji Fei, did you finish your math?)_

Wang Ji Fei replied with a negative answer and ran off to do his homework. His mom disappeared back into the house before Monica and Chandler could protest her hospitality. She returned with a bag of large cooked dumplings and handed it to them. "You can eat these on your trip – pork and some veggies inside!"

"Thank you very much!" Chandler and Monica replied as they took the bag of food from their hostess.

"Oh look, your taxi is here!" She exclaimed, pointing to the green and yellow car that was driving towards the front of their house.

"Goodbye and thank you!"

Monica and Chandler dashed off towards their taxi with one last final wave at the farmer's wife.

**H/|\P ~ P/|\J**

"We are going to Shanghai! We are going to Shanghai!" Harry and Patrick jumped up and down in joy, while holding hands after reading the contents of their clue, "We are going to Shanghai!"

"Okay, we know! We know! Now we need to get there!" Joey looked at the brothers with exasperation.

"Well, we can't exactly do anything right now; we are waiting for our taxis!" Phoebe replied to her partner.

"Yeah, they said fifteen minutes. Thank goodness Patty had the good idea to ask Mr. Wang for his cell." Harry exclaimed.

"Yeah, you did order two taxis, right?" Phoebe asked.

"Oh yeah," Harry grinned.

"Hm... Harry, Shanghai has two airports – y'know and we can go through any of them since this is a domestic flight," Patrick mused.

"Yeah, but we are going to the Bund. I reckon that it doesn't really matter which airport – just the earliest time would do," Harry replied back, "Even though I do think the Pudong airport is closer."

"I guess so," Patrick nodded, after thinking about it for a moment.

"What is the Bund?" Joey asked the twins curiously.

"One of the most popular tourist attractions to see in Shanghai – it's an area of buildings of grandeur and people often go sight-seeing there at night to look at the skyline of the opposite side of the Huang Pu river – Pudong." Harry explained.

"Yeah, Pudong is like the financial district – kinda like Shanghai's version of Manhattan!" Patrick added his two cents in.

"Sounds interesting!" Phoebe replied back, "I can't wait to see it!"

"Me too, Phoebs, me too!" Patrick exclaimed.

"Oh look, here's our taxis, five minutes early!" Harry exclaimed.

"Let's go, guys!" Joey shouldered his backpack and all of them headed off to their respective green and yellow taxis.

**R/|\R**

"Well, we are finally caught up now!" Rachel exclaimed to Ross at the gate, while waiting for the 4 PM departure of their China Eastern plane.

"Yeah, but now everyone is literally in the same boat now!" Ross exclaimed, gesturing towards the rest of the waiting area of their gate.

"You mean the same plane," Rachel quipped, her good humour returning ever since they realized that they've made up enough ground to rectify their previous plane error.

Ross sighed, and looked around. His sister and her husband were sitting in a corner, chatting with Harry and Patrick as well as Phoebe and Joey in an animated conversation of God knows what. Simon and Roger and Meredith and Kenneth sat nearby – Roger, Meredith and Kenneth were having an interesting discussion on space exploration. Arlene and Yvonne were busy napping and Natasha and Trevor were huddled on chairs as far away from the rest of the competitors.

"It's kinda weird to be not sitting with our friends," Rachel remarked.

"Yeah, it is," Ross sighed, "It's just that we are often behind them more than with them."

"Yeah," Rachel smiled, "And back home, we couldn't get them to leave us alone enough!"

"I know!" Ross grinned, "Well, since we are alone, how about a little something before the flight?"

"Okay, Geller, we could sneak into the washroom facilities over there!" Rachel winked.

"Lead the way, Ms. Green!" Ross grinned.

Halfway through the way to the washroom, they were stopped by a question.

"Hey Ross, we need you to settle this question – is it pterosaur that flew or plesiosaur?" Patrick interrupted, with a small smirk on his face.

Rachel groaned in frustration when she saw her boyfriend walk over to the group and became engaged in a discussion of dinosaurs – involving the mechanisms of dinosaur flight which Harry's inner biologist was immensely curious about. Rachel had to sigh helplessly when she remembered Ross's answer to Phoebe's question of whether or not he would give up sex or dinosaurs.

**/|\**

At around 7 PM CST, the plane touched down on the runway at Pudong International Airport. The sky outside was growing darker and darker as the occupants of the plane were seeing more and more lights as the plane moved closer to the terminals. Everyone on the plane had fallen asleep during the flight – some later than others, but the pure exhaustion of running the race without a break eventually got to them. Monica, whose mind had been constantly on the race, was the first to stir, and realize that they had landed. She nudged her husband.

"What is it, honey?" Chandler mumbled sleepily.

"I think we are here. Let's get up and get our bags." Monica replied back, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Yeah," Chandler woke immediately after hearing that they had arrived. When the plane was docking, Chandler got up from his aisle seat and removed all their bags – handing the bag containing their passports and his wife's bag to Monica. Monica shouldered the big pack, while attaching the other pack around her waist.

Around the couple, other passengers had begun retrieving their articles and heading towards the exit, which were what Chandler and Monica were doing now. Ross woke up when he heard the increased murmur of voices on the plane, and he shouldered his girlfriend, who merely responded by turning her head to the other side.

"Rachel, sleepy time is over!" Ross whispered into her ear.

"Five more minutes, mom, five more," was her reply – which Ross made a face in response.

"Rachel, we are in Shanghai! And time's ticking!"

Rachel shot up, "Where, what?"

"Shanghai?" Ross looked amused.

"Oh right, what are we waiting for?" Rachel got up, moved from her seat to the aisle and got ready.

Harry stirred after hearing Ross's attempts to wake up his sleeping girlfriend. He tapped his brother none-too-lightly on the shoulders and retrieved his own pack as well as his brother's and their fanny pack. Patrick got up immediately and took his pack wordlessly from his brother.

"Damn it! I wanted to be awake when we landed!" Patrick groaned.

"Yeah, me too – savour the first glance of our first city!" Harry sighed, "Let's go!"

Monica and Chandler, Ross and Rachel and Harry and Patrick had managed to leave the plane before most of the passengers had gotten their baggage from the overhead compartments. Simon and Roger, Phoebe and Joey, Meredith and Kenneth, Natasha and Trevor were forced to navigate their way through the throngs of people that had appeared in the aisles, while Yvonne and Arlene slept blissfully through the commotion.

Phoebe and Joey were able to duck and weave in the aislefuls of Chinese tourists while Simon and Roger got through with a little pushing, and some polite excuses.

As this was a domestic flight, there were no customs to pass through and everyone soon found themselves with the same problem: where do we go now?

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"Finally, a computer!" Harry exclaimed, when Chandler, Monica and the twins were huddled around a desktop lying somewhere at the Pudong airport.

"Very glad that we are working together, this leg," Patrick sighed, "We can do all the language crap, and you guys can do all the logistics!"

"Yeah, I need your reading skills – I can't read any of this!" Chandler exclaimed when the computer booted up, revealing that it was a Windows XP computer with Chinese settings.

"Oh, you don't need to read, just click on that Internet Explorer thing – you know the one with the blue E!" Harry replied helpfully.

"Alright, then, I am not that stupid," Chandler remarked, "What site do I go on? Google?"

"Replace the com with the hk. The American version is filtered out I think," Patrick replied back.

"Hk?" Monica mused.

"Hong Kong," Harry explained.

"I see, so I should type in how to get to the Bund using the metro?" Chandler asked.

"Let's try finding a metro map!" Harry exclaimed, "Just type in Shanghai metro!"

"Oh my fucking god! The Chinese have been flipping busy during the decade we weren't here!" Patrick exclaimed when a map depicting a myriad of colourful metro lines appeared on the screen.

"How many colours are there? More than ten," Harry mused.

"Okay, now that we are done with all the oohing and ahing, can we please move on to the more important part?" Chandler replied half jokingly and seriously.

"We need to haul our asses to East Nanjing Road," Patrick said thoughtfully, "That's where Wai tan should be."

"Yeah, you are right," Harry said, "We can ask someone on the way there."

"So Pudong airport is connected to East Nanjing Road via the Green line," Monica observed the map.

"Good, we don't have to make any changes," Patrick smiled, "I suggest we go exchange some money, get the metro cards and get the hell out of here."

"Good plan, let's move!" Monica was already moving towards the currency exchange that was nearby.

**P/|\J**

"It sure is crowded here!" Joey exclaimed, while clinging onto one of the poles, when the train began to slow down upon approaching another platform.

Phoebe and Joey had immediately gone to the currency exchange to obtain some Chinese renminbi and had gotten onto the metro without consulting anything or one at the airport. They had acquired their card, and had asked the seller how to get to the Bund. She had replied with a name of the station, but Phoebe and Joey had forgotten which stop it was.

"Oh shit, we should have written it down!" Phoebe groaned in despair.

"I know, it's either East or West Nanjing road!" Joey looked bewilderedly at the subway map.

"It definitely wasn't People's Square," Phoebe observed the stop between East and West Nanjing Road on the electronic map located above the doors of the subway.

"Definitely not," Joey amended.

"Well, let's do rock, paper and scissors, if you win, we go west, and if I win, we go east," Phoebe suggested.

"Okay!"

"Xià yí zhàn shì Nanjing dōng lù, zài zhè li, nǐ kě yǐ zhuǎn dào 10 hào xiàn. The next stop is East Nanjing Road. Here you can transfer to Line ten."

"Oh crap, we are running out of time, Phoebs!" Joey looked very worried.

"Rock, paper scissors!"

Joey had a rock. Phoebe had a rock.

"Shit!" Phoebe swore.

"Again, again!" Joey exclaimed.

"Rock, paper scissors!"

Phoebe had the paper. So did Joey.

"Aw, crap!" Joey frowned.

The subway slowed down at the platform of East Nanjing Road. People jostled their way through the large crowd in the subway to exit to the platform while a new surge of travellers pushed through.

"Argh, too much people, Phoebs!" Joey groaned.

"Hurry, let's do it again!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Rock, paper scissors!"

Joey had a rock. Phoebe scrunched his rock instantly with paper.

"So we get off here?" Joey asked.

"Yeah!" The two of them rushed to the rapidly closing doors while manoeuvring around the crowded train.

"Damn it!" Phoebe swore when the doors closed on them before they could manage to get out.

"Rock, paper, scissors – why have you failed me so?" Joey cried out so dramatically that several passengers turned to stare oddly at him.

**R/|\R**

"Excuse me, but do you know how to get to the Bund?" Ross asked a suit-wearing Chinese man lounging around in the airport.

The man shook his head.

"Gah! Isn't there someone who knows where we are supposed to be going?" Rachel asked with exasperation.

"Evidently, not," Ross sighed, "Excuse me, but do you know how to get to the Bund?" He directed this question to a nicely suited lady who also shook her head and ran off.

"This is ridiculous!" Rachel threw her arms up in the air.

"I know!" Ross groaned.

"Why didn't we follow Chandler or Monica or someone else?" Rachel sighed.

"I don't know!" Ross seethed in frustration, "Excuse me, but could you give me directions to the Bund?" Ross stopped an older looking man who was walking hurriedly towards the metro.

The man also shook his head with a puzzled expression on his face, before walking off.

"Damn it!" Rachel swore.

"What's the Bund called in Chinese?" Ross asked his girlfriend, who was getting very frustrated.

"Wai Tan, I think – from how Harry and Patrick were pronouncing it earlier at Chengdu," Rachel replied back.

"Okay," Ross stopped another person, "Excuse me, but do you know Wai tan?"

"This place!" Rachel held out their clue, and pointed to all the Chinese.

"Oh, I see," The man said in broken English, "I go there now!"

"Can we follow you?" Rachel inquired.

"Yes, yes. You follow me. I take you to that building."

Ross and Rachel gratefully followed their saviour out of the airport and into the hustle and bustle of the underground world, below.

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"Welcome, to chaos!" Patrick quipped on the subway, as mobs of people went in and out of the subway car at each stop.

"Wow, I never knew so many people could be crammed into one subway car!" Chandler looked around. He, Monica and the twins were grabbing on the handles provided on the bars above the long five-to-six capacity chairs that were coloured green to match the colour scheme of the overall train.

"Yeah, many people," Harry remarked, "Too many for my comfort!"

"Well, we are at Dong Chang Road," Monica looked at the electronic map located above the door in front of her.

"Twuo more stops left to go!" Chandler observed, "And then we can get out of the sardine can."

"Xià yí zhàn shì Lu jia zui. The next stop is Lu jia zui."

"Getting closer," Patrick said, "We are almost there – I can almost see the skyline with my eyes."

"That's a new analogy," Chandler quipped.

"Oh shut up," Patrick groaned.

"So wait, there's two skylines that Shanghai is renowned for?" Monica asked.

"Yeah, the one we will be admiring from afar today is Pudong, and the side we are standing on is Puxi." Patrick explained.

"Dong is East – we are getting off at Nanjing Dong Lu. Xi is west. And the Pu refers to the HuangPu river. And lu is road," Harry explained.

"Oh my god. Everything makes sense now!" Chandler exclaimed.

"If the Chinese people are anything, they are definitely logical," Harry replied back.

"Sometimes," Patrick deadpanned to his brother, "I do wonder if you are Chinese."

"Oh, shut up, Patty, you shouldn't be talking!" Harry replied indignantly, "As a scientist, I am a very logical person!"

"Oh, so we basically crossed the river since the airport is in Pudong?" Monica asked another question.

"Yeah, there are multiple tunnels connecting the two sides!" Patrick replied.

"Xià yí zhàn shì Nanjing dōng lù, zài zhè li, nǐ kě yǐ zhuǎn dào 10 hào xiàn. The next stop is East Nanjing Road. Here you can transfer to Line ten."

"Oh, there's our stop," Monica grinned.

"Yeah, let's get off!" Harry exclaimed when the subway stopped at a crowded station, and the four of them manoeuvred their way out of the crowd and onto the even more densely packed crowd on the platform.

**P/|\J**

"So this is People's Square?" Phoebe exclaimed while looking bewilderingly at the enormous masses of people that were coming and going on the platform. The rapid chatter of Mandarin could be heard all around them.

"Good thing they have those railing things," Joey nodded to the glass separating people from the tracks.

"Yeah, there are so many people!" Phoebe observed, "When is the next train coming? I can't believe we didn't get off that last stop in time!"

"I know. And Rock-Paper-Scissors was right!" Joey exclaimed, "That last guy we just asked said so!"

"Oh trust me, those games are always right," Phoebe replied with a knowing grin.

"Oh, I hear rumbling. Is that thunder?" Joey looked up.

"No, Joey –" But the rest of Phoebe's voice was cut off when the train going eastbound arrived in front of them.

The two of them determinedly entered the train, with the rest of the crowd swarming around them.

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"Oh dear god! Is it hot?" Harry complained as soon as the four of them had exited the metro station and onto the busy street of East Nanjing road.

"It's not hot. It's the humidity!" Chandler exclaimed, "The humidity is so high that it's like walking into an ocean!"

"But it's really nice here!" Monica changed the topic, "Look at all those stores, and lights!"

"Yup, one of the busier streets of Shanghai – heck I don't recognize this place anymore!" Patrick sighed while looking up and down the brightly lit buildings adorning the darkness of the sky.

"It reminds of me of home – like Times Square!" Monica mused, "So busy and all the lights!"

"So, where are we going?" Chandler asked the twins.

"Oh we have to go a little east, this road leads to the Bund," Harry consulted his little map that he found earlier at the ticket counter.

"Oh wow, look at all these restaurants, and every single one of them is full!" Patrick glimpsed at the various restaurants that they passed by, "Makes you appreciate exactly how many people live in Shanghai."

"Yeah, so how long is this road?" Monica asked.

"I reckon five minutes more," Harry looked at his watch.

"I need to get a fan!" Patrick sighed, "But I will wait!"

"Yeah, you better, we don't want to fall too behind. I mean everyone is on an even playing field again," Harry retorted back.

"Yeah, we have some serious business," Chandler replied knowingly

"Oh definitely, to try and finish this leg as fast as our legs will allow us to," Patrick sighed, "Trust me, I've never moved so much in my life!"

"I can imagine. I mean, you sit at a computer all day," Harry quipped.

"So do I," Chandler grimaced.

"And you are no better," Patrick retorted back, "You, my dear brother, sit in front of a microscope all day."

"That is so not true!" Harry huffed, "I certainly do more than that! You just push buttons on Microsoft Excel and that tax program you use."

"Hey, don't you go insulting my computer programs – and last time I checked, you were using Excel to analyze your data sets!" Patrick exclaimed.

"Um guys, I think we just reached the end of the road," Monica tapped Harry's shoulder, "And the view is quite beautiful."

**P/|\J**

"You don't think we lost too much time on that mistake, Phoebs?" Joey asked his partner as they walked along the gorgeously lit architecture of the Bund.

"No, but I just can't stop staring at these buildings!" Phoebe grinned, "Some of them look like castles!"

"You don't think so?" Joey asked again.

"No, at most five minutes," Phoebe replied back, "Oh look, is that the clue-box, right here?"

Joey squinted, "Maybe, it's rather shadowy."

"Oh come on, who the hell puts a box in here? It totally clashes with the decor!" Phoebe continued her leisurely pace of walking to the clue-box. They started hearing familiar voices behind them that caused both Phoebe and Joey to quicken up their pace.

"Look it is Phoebe and Joey!" Harry's voice punctuated the air.

"I see the box!" Monica exclaimed, pointing to a small dark object against the brightly illuminated stone of the neo-classic style building.

"Charge!" Chandler cried out and began running towards the clue-box. Monica, Patrick and Harry sprinted to catch up.

"Attack!" Harry shouted enthusiastically after he had started to chase after Chandler.

"Get them!" Patrick shouted.

"Aghhh!" Joey yelled when he saw them all running full speed towards him and Phoebe.

The six of them nearly collided with the box set out against the stone wall of the colossal HSBC building.

"Woah, woah, woah! What in the blazes is going on here?" Simon's voice was heard from behind the three teams.

"Yeah, we have a dearth of sanity, right here!" Roger quipped.

"Well, we were just casually walking to the clue-box," Phoebe began to explain. She took out one of the envelopes from the box, as did Chandler and Patrick. Roger leaned over to pick one up too.

"And then suddenly – " Joey explained further.

"We were under attack!" Phoebe exclaimed, "By those guys!"

"Hey, don't look at us!" Patrick retorted.

"Yeah, we are very innocent, civil people," Harry deadpanned.

"What are we waiting for?" Chandler stared pointedly at the clue envelope in his hands.

"Oh right," Harry grinned.

Four different rips were heard as the clue-envelopes were opened.

"Intersection," Monica read over Chandler's shoulders.

"Again?" Harry looked surprised.

"And it's a Roadblock," Phoebe exclaimed, "Please determine which team member is going to participate in the Roadblock and pick another person from another team to perform the Intersection component before looking at the contents of the Roadblock."

"It's my turn," Chandler retorted, "Who's ready to play ball?"

"Oh, I want to!" Harry exclaimed.

"Yeah, Harry you do it, I will do the next Roadblock," Patrick agreed quickly. Patrick knew he sucked at ball-games.

"Want to pair up, Chandler?" Harry asked.

"Are you sure, Chandler, you aren't that great," Monica rolled her eyes at her husband.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mon," Chandler quipped.

"We don't even know what you guys are doing!" Patrick exclaimed.

"And I guess that leaves me and you Joey," Roger grinned.

"Alright, so what's the Roadblock?" Joey asked.

"Hey guys!" Rachel's voice was heard.

"Xie, xie – for taking us to the building, man!" Ross thanked the random stranger that had led them to their destination.

"No problem," the man walked off.

"What's up?" Rachel asked the four teams.

"Um... the clue – we all gotta go, see ya!" The four teams shuffled off to an intersection so that they could cross the road towards the Huangpu River.

"What was that?" Ross asked his girlfriend.

"I dunno, they know something we don't know," Rachel sighed as she picked up a clue. She ripped it open.

"Aw crap," Ross groaned.

"We need to wait for another team to arrive! That sucks!" Rachel frowned.

"Bummer!" Ross sat down on the floor beside the clue-box.

"That's why they were so awkward!" Rachel groaned.

"We were the odd people out!" Ross sighed.

"And how come they are always the first bunch of people to get anywhere?" Rachel wondered to Ross.

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P ~ R/|\S ~ P/|\J**

"Oh wow," Harry grinned win he saw four blue coloured ping-pong tables set out on the walkway right beside the Huangpu River. Behind the tables, there was a magnificent view of the Pudong skyline. The only thing preventing people from walking off the large gray tiles to the river below was a metal railing.

There were people already playing at the tables, and there was a large crowd containing a mixture of tourists and Chinese nationals crowding around the players, either sitting on plastic chairs of all colours and shapes or standing. Spontaneous cheers and bursts of applause erupted whenever the players hit the ball, and chatter could be heard. Paper lanterns were strung on the metal railings, hung on the lamp-posts and set on the floor to further illuminate the play area.

"Never imagined playing ping-pong like this!" Chandler exclaimed, "With a nice view, huge Chinese audience, and a river barely a few feet away."

"And in this heat! Thank god for the breeze of the river!" Roger observed.

"Ooh, what's that rocket-shaped building over there? The one with all the pretty lights!" Monica pointed across the river.

"Oh that's Oriental Pearl Tower – it's one of the tallest towers in Asia!" Patrick explained, "And that tall skyscraper over there is the – oh I forgot –"

"Tsk, that's the Jin Mao building – it's partially a hotel, and has the world's longest laundry chute," Harry quipped.

"And how do you know all this?" Chandler looked at Harry with a puzzled expression.

"Hey, you can't blame someone for wanting to know all about their birthplace!" Harry retorted for the benefit of his brother. He then whispered in Chandler's ear, "Oh, I enjoy reading sites about random facts that no-one needs to know!"

"Time well spent," Chandler nodded knowingly.

"Hey guys, what about that building that looks like a handle?" Simon asked, pointing to a tall building that had a gap at the top of the building.

"Oh, it's for airplanes to fly through," Chandler deadpanned, "To prevent 9-11."

"Haha," Harry retorted, "I actually don't know about that building!"

"Guys, we are ready for you," Two Chinese men, roughly as old as Harry and Patrick walked over to Chandler and Harry.

"And we are ready for you," A young Chinese girl, who didn't look like she was over twenty and a teenage boy beamed at Joey and Roger.

"So we are having a doubles match, and you guys will need to score ten points against us in order to get your next clue – got it?" One of the guys explained in flawless English.

"And warning you, we are good!" The girl replied with a grin, tossing her dyed brown hair over her shoulder.

"Wow, she's hot!" Joey whispered to Roger after looking at the girl up and down, "Great breasts, nice figure!"

"Well, I wouldn't know," Roger replied back, "But she is cute. Not my type, obviously."

"Let's get this show, on the road!" Harry picked up one of the ping-pong paddles that were left on the table, and slapped the paddle against his palms.

"Yeah," Chandler grinned, "Let's show them how it's done!"

"Prepare to get your asses kicked!" One of the guys across from Harry and Chandler smirked arrogantly as he picked up the paddle.

"Think he's a hotshot, eh?" Harry asked Chandler.

"Oh yeah, we will show him how Americans play ping-pong!" Chandler smiled back.

"Let's play!"

When everyone had stood at their respective spots, the crowd around them began to cheer loudly, chanting some names and calling out "Jia you, jia you!".

"You think these guys are pros?" Harry asked Chandler.

"No worries, we can do this," Chandler returned back.

"And what on earth does Jia you mean?" Chandler asked Harry curiously.

"Literally, add oil, but it's to cheer you on!" Harry explained.

"Okay, let's play!" One of the guys tossed his white ping-pong ball in the air and smacked it diagonally to Harry, who smacked it easily back.

Ping!

The ball went to the other guy, who slammed it back to Chandler with rigorous energy. Harry looked worried but sighed in relief when Chandler skilfully sent it back at a deft angle.

Pong!

The guy had to do an awkward jump to catch Chandler's ball. The crowd went wild when the guy's ball failed to clear the net.

"One for us!" Harry cheered, "You are good!"

"Thanks man," Chandler grinned.

At Roger's and Joey's table, things weren't going all that well. Roger was reasonably proficient at the sport and Joey was too, but young boy and girl were whipping their asses.

"Damn it!" Joey slammed down his paddle when the ball bounced past his shoulders, "And that girl is distracting!"

"They weren't kidding when they said they were good!" Roger groaned.

"And that's like 3-0," Joey sighed.

"Don't worry man, we have as many tries as we like!" Roger explained.

"Your ball, man!" Joey nudged his partner when the girl began to serve again.

Roger had to run when the ball ricocheted off the corner of the table and was barely able to smack it back. The ball went over the net and bounced. The youth ran to catch the ball but missed.

"Our first point!" Joey almost cried out in happiness.

"I know, it feels so good!" Roger grinned.

Monica, Phoebe, Simon and Patrick were sitting on some plastic chairs that had been provided – squat fold-up chairs that were colourfully painted with white dots all over them.

"Wow, Chandler is good!" Phoebe exclaimed, "Oh my god! It's like watching sex! And Harry is good too! Oh my god!"

"Hey, that's my husband you are talking about!" Monica replied back, "But seriously, I didn't know he could play like this!"

"No, that's not fair; Chandler and Harry are both taken!" Phoebe groaned, "It's like watching nature in action!"

"Phoebs, that is nature in action," Roger remarked dryly.

"This needs to be video-taped, it's beautiful!" Phoebe exclaimed when Harry smacked the ball with a spin, making it land at the side of the table.

"Well, it's only going to be seen by several million people all around the world," Patrick quipped.

"Oh my god, this is so turning me on!" Monica stared at the players.

"They are good," Roger quipped, "So good that we aren't even paying attention to the other table!"

"I mean, look at that serve, that height!" Patrick exclaimed when Chandler smacked the ping-pong ball with his racket again. It soared high, but returned to land on the opponents' side of the table.

"And that crowd! It goes crazy whenever either of them hit the ball!" Phoebe observed.

"Well, ping-pong is only the national sport of China," Patrick grinned.

"Is it really?" Monica asked him.

"I don't know," Patrick shrugged, "It should be!"

**R/|\R**

"Guys! There you are!" Rachel cried in joy when she saw Kenneth and Meredith come running towards the clue-box.

"We made such a huge mistake!" Meredith sighed, "I only hope we aren't last!"

"No, you guys are sixth, and we need you to do the intersection," Ross explained.

"Okay," Kenneth tore open the envelope, "Meredith, this one is for you."

"Yay! Ping-pong!" Meredith smiled when she looked at the additional details, "You or Ross?"

"Ross today," Rachel grinned.

"Now, let's get our asses across that street! We've got some Chinese ping-pong champions to challenge!" Ross yelled.

"Honey, a little quieter please," Rachel pulled at her boyfriend's sleeve, after several pedestrians gave Ross an odd look.

**J/|\P ~ R/|\S**

"Joey! You should have gotten that one at least!" Roger exclaimed when the ping-pong ball hit the table on Joey's side and flew off into the distance.

"I am sorry, man! That girl is so distracting!" Joey could not stop ogling the girl in front of him.

"Come on! We've only accumulated three points!" Roger sighed, before smacking the ball across the table to his young male opponent. He looked at Joey in exasperation when he realized that Joey's attention was directed to the girl's figure.

"Cannot stop staring!" Joey exclaimed. "Damn it!" He swore when the ping pong ball missed his paddle again and bounced onto the tiles. The crowd cheered wildly.

"Look away!" Roger suggested, "She isn't even that hot!"

"Oh yes she is. And I can't look away!" Joey groaned.

Roger smacked the ball back across the table with an efficient whack.

Ping!

The ball came soaring back to Joey, who was about to reach for the orange blur. But at that moment, the girl bent down slightly, and Joey found himself temporarily distracted by her cleavage that her tank top exposed by her motion.

Pong!

Roger groaned again in frustration when the ball struck the table and bounced again on the tiles. The crowd went into another cheering frenzy. "Jia you! Jia you!"

"We are going to be here forever!" Roger exclaimed, while banging his paddle on the table.

"Well, sorry for being a straight guy!" Joey frowned in frustration.

"Here, why don't we trade places, so you don't need to return her balls," Roger suggested.

Joey giggled immaturely at Roger's statement before nodding. Roger rolled his eyes as he switched places with his partner.

The ball came flying back to Joey and he smacked it across the table.

Ping!

The guy returned Joey's smack, which Roger then ran over to return. His shot landed on the corner of the table and the girl tripped over to get it. She missed.

"Fourth point for us!" Joey exclaimed.

"Now we are getting somewhere!" Roger's sour mood was beginning to lift.

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"Wow, that ball flew into the fucking river!" Harry exclaimed.

Chandler had returned one of the guy's serve with an interesting spin that caused the ball to hit the table at a small angle to the horizontal and fly straight through the bars of the metal railings where it plopped into the river below. The crowd had cheered appreciatively at Chandler's final smack.

"Well, I am not getting it," Chandler quipped back to Harry.

"Neither am I! But seriously, no littering!" Harry joked back.

"Haha, that was what? Point number nine?" Chandler asked seriously.

"Yeah, we are almost there!" Harry exclaimed.

"That's good!" Chandler fired off his serve.

This time they got a few rallies in before Harry smashed the ball down at his opponents with much force. The ball bounced high at the middle of the table and both opponents reached for it simultaneously. They both missed. The crowd went wild.

"We are done!" Harry cried out.

"And that's how it's done!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Oh wow, it feels so unreal with all these people cheering. I swear, the crowd has grown bigger!" Harry observed the large masses of people that had gathered by the two ping-pong tables in use. People were all standing up or sitting down on plastic chairs, talking, cheering and chanting.

"You are right. There were half as many people earlier," Chandler noted, "So this is what it's like to be a celebrity!" He quipped back to Harry.

"Oh yeah. One-night-fame! Awesome!"

"Good game guys," both men from the other side of the table walked over to Chandler and Harry, "Totally underestimated you guys. You guys are good!"

"Thanks," Chandler and Harry looked bashful.

"And here's your next clue. We need to have a rematch someday!" One of the guys exclaimed.

"Yeah, we could!" Harry smiled, "Now let's go on with the race! Time's a wasting!"

"Good luck and goodbye!"

Harry and Chandler ran back to their respective partners.

**R/|\R **

"Hey guys!" Rachel yelled out to Monica, Patrick, Phoebe and Simon.

"Hey, you finally arrived!" Phoebe exclaimed, "We were worried!"

"Yeah, Meredith and Kenneth finally showed up. I was afraid that no one was going to come!" Rachel exclaimed back.

"Wow, look at all those people!" Kenneth gestured to the large crowd, "And they all want to watch some night-ping pong!"

"Mon! We can go now!" Chandler ran towards his wife, a yellow envelope clutched in his fingers.

"Yeah, Patrick! Onto the next phase of the race!" Harry ran behind Chandler.

"Alright," Patrick grinned, "See y'all later!"

"Ditto!" The four people waved to their friends and ran off.

"Wow you guys missed some awesome ping-pong!" Simon exclaimed.

"What awesome ping-pong?" Rachel asked.

"Harry and Chandler! They were amazing! You should have heard the crowds!" Simon explained.

"Chandler? Good at ping-pong? Are you trying to pull a fast one on me?" Rachel looked bemused.

"I think he's been keeping his skills under wraps. Monica looked so surprised when he started to play!" Phoebe supplemented.

"Oh wow. He sucked whenever I played with him!" Rachel replied back.

"Same here!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"So Ross and Meredith are having a go?" Simon asked, watching Ross and Meredith talk to a pair of young women who were going to be their opponents.

"Yeah, Ross is okay at it," Rachel informed.

"Meredith is pretty good," Kenneth grinned, "We have a ping-pong table at home that she plays with."

"So how's Joey and Roger doing?" Rachel asked.

"Not good. Five points now," Phoebe sighed.

"What? But Joey is good!" Rachel held out her arms in disbelief.

"Watch him play. Note the girl across from him," Phoebe sighed. Rachel watched them play.

"Oh my god! He's practically drooling over her!" Rachel exclaimed, "Poor Joey – he can't resist the women!" She had to smile when Joey missed another ball, clearly distracted by the woman in front of him.

"Thank god that Roger isn't straight!" Phoebe grinned.

"Damn straight!" Roger exclaimed.

"Damn hot women!" Phoebe bashed her fist into her other palm.

"Oh look, Ross and Meredith are playing now!" Rachel pointed to another ping-pong table beside the one that Joey and Roger were playing at.

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"Make your way on foot to The Bund hotel (金外滩宾馆), which is located on 525 Guangdong Road. Your next clue will be located at the front desk. First come, first served." Harry read the clue.

"What does first come, first served mean?" Monica asked the rest.

"No clue, but I have a feeling that it's a good idea to get to that hotel, pronto!" Patrick exclaimed.

"Well, how the hell do we get there?" Chandler asked.

"The map?" Patrick pulled out a ball of paper.

"Oh that's too slow, Patty, we should make use of this vast resource we have here!" Harry exclaimed.

"What resource?" Chandler asked him sceptically.

"The people, duh!" Harry walked away to pursue a well-dressed Chinese gentlemen. "Duì bù qǐ, xiān sheng, jīn Wài tān Bīn guǎn zài nǎ lǐ ma?" (Excuse me, sir, where is the Bund Hotel?"

"Jīn Wài tān Bīn guǎn?" The man stopped to think. (The Bund hotel?)

"Zài Guangdong lu shang!" Harry added. (It's on Guangdong Road!)

"Guò mǎ lù. Zǒu nà gè fāng xiàng. Ní huì kàn dào Guǎngdōng lù de biāo zhì!" _(Cross the road. Continue that way, and eventually you will see the sign for Guangdong Road.)_

"Xiè xie nǐ!" Harry ran back to his companions.

"So, I take it we should cross the street," Patrick glanced across the congested street, towards the side with all the brilliantly lit buildings.

"Oh yeah, let's get moving guys," Harry replied.

The group crossed the street at the nearest intersection and walked briskly in the direction indicated by the man that Harry had asked. Monica and Chandler as well as the twins took time now and then to admire the sights around them, enjoying the play of the artificial yellowish, whitish and even orangish lights against the natural darkness of the night sky.

Despite the lateness of the hour, mobs of tourists and the Shanghainese flocked the streets, taking pictures, walking and talking, sitting on benches or admiring the view across the river. The busy night-life of Shanghai reminded Monica and Chandler of the craziness of Time Square back in New York City.

"It's like another world here," Harry remarked, "I remember coming here, fascinated by the architecture and lighting when I was a kid – and it still somehow retains its atmosphere twenty years later!"

"Yeah, they fixed up some of the buildings and the view across the river has improved from what I remember," Patrick grinned, "There used to be nothing spectacular there."

"Welcome to progress," Chandler quipped, while lightly holding his wife's hand, "Honestly, despite the heat it reminds me of home."

"You guys came from New York City, if I remember correctly," Harry scratched his head.

"Yeah, where do you guys hail from?" Monica asked curiously.

"Chicago, actually, but I got an interesting job offer from NYU recently," Harry remarked.

"Really?" Chandler replied with a question.

"Oh yeah, they liked some of the work that I've done and they want me to be an assistant professor and researcher in some neuroscience stuff," Harry grinned, "Still considering it though – I would hate to leave Patty."

"What about your girlfriend?" Monica asked curiously.

"She doesn't have a preference. She's actually doing medical school stuff right now, so she's living away from Chicago." Harry explained, "So it's my decision."

"And Chandler?" Monica turned to her husband.

"Yeah, Mon?"

"When were you so good at ping-pong?" Monica asked Chandler sternly.

"I was always good!" Chandler defended himself.

"No, you weren't. You sucked! You should have seen Phoebe's face!" Monica exclaimed.

"Guess you will see her face on next season of the Amazing Race. Her expression was priceless!" Patrick chortled.

"Really, this I got to see!" Harry grinned.

"Oh look, Guangdong Road!" Chandler pointed at a green sign at the next intersection.

"Nice," Harry replied, "We turn here, and look for what's that number?"

"Five-hundred and twenty-five," Monica reminded him.

"Right," Harry smiled back.

**R/|\R ~ M/|\K**

"When they meant champions, they really did mean champions!" Ross exclaimed after ten intense minutes of ping-pong to his partner.

"Oh yeah, if we were keeping score for both sides, it will probably be like – " Meredith returned a rally with a light swing – her arm was getting a bit sore.

Ping!

The ball went flying to Ross, who swatted at it like how he would swat a fly. The ball sailed just short of his paddle and into the crowd of people who burst into cheering.

"Make that 16 – 2," Ross replied glumly.

"Well, that's two more closer to ten," Meredith replied positively as she smacked another ping-pong ball across the table.

Pong!

"We will be here forever!" Ross groaned.

"Pessimist!" Meredith accused, "You definitely need a better attitude!"

"Well, not everyone is optimistic!" Ross retorted back, and smacked the ping-pong ball that came over to his side with unusual force. The ball flew over the net, smacked the table on the side and sailed just shy of one of their opponents' paddles.

"Three!" Meredith screamed with glee as the crowd erupted into more cheers.

"Well it's a good thing that the crowd is supporting all the teams," Ross observed.

"Watch out!" Meredith shouted to his partner. The ping-pong ball smacked Ross on the cheek and bounced back onto the table.

"Ow! Damn it! This game is dangerous!" Ross placed his hand to his stinging cheek.

"Pay more attention!" Meredith grinned, "It isn't rocket science here!"

"The hell it isn't!" Ross retorted back and smacked the next ping-pong ball that came flying from his end with ire.

Ping!

The ball sailed past their opponents and onto the floor.

"That's four!" Meredith shouted gleefully.

"Should be, my cheek paid for that!" Ross mumbled darkly to himself.

**P/|\J ~ R/|\S**

"Phoebs, let's go!" Joey shouted to his partner while waving his yellow envelope.

"About time guys!" Roger quipped, "The Ping-Pong all-stars left twenty minutes ago!"

"Well, not everyone has hidden innate talents involving ping-pong," Joey remarked darkly.

"Oh hurry up and open that thing! I just spotted Arlene, Yvonne, Trevor and Natasha coming across the street!" Phoebe pushed.

"Okay, we have to get to the Bund hotel!" Simon read from his partner's opened clue.

"Hm... Guangdong Road! I saw it somewhere!" Phoebe pulled out a folded up map from her fanny pack. She unfolded the paper and located the Bund. She looked around the streets close to East Nanjing Road. "Ah, it's here!" She pointed to a road that was a relatively short distance from the metro that they had emerged from.

"Beautiful, let's get marching," Roger grinned, "Let's cross the street over there!"

The group of them jogged slowly to the next intersection, where they quickly walked across the street, which was a riot of horn honking due to the traffic. Phoebe determined the direction that they needed to go from the map, and they all picked up the pace – hoping to catch up with their competitors, while swerving around people to avoid them.

"I wish we didn't have to run through this," Simon remarked to his partner, "We could spend hours walking here, and a boat ride around the two banks seems like a pretty good idea!"

"Yeah Simon, we could come here for our honeymoon. A cruise around the river would be divine – get some wind going." Roger replied back.

"And we could take pictures!" Phoebe grinned, "It's so nice here!"

"Yeah, plenty of hot girls, lots of lights, fancy buildings..." Joey looked around.

"Sounds like home, Joey," Phoebe derived from Joey's statement.

"Damn, I miss New York so much!" Joey groaned, "I haven't had sex in..."

"Joey, the last time you had sex was within the last seventy-two hours," Phoebe retorted back.

"Oh right, big bathtubs," Joey smiled back, "I haven't been away from New York this long, ever! I am homesick!"

"Me too, but we are only halfway through, Joey. Plus we will be back home in no time!" Phoebe soothed.

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

The two teams sprinted into the hotel, which was a tall tan building with a colour scheme that matched the buildings at the Bund. They ran through the entrance way, weaving between the people who were entering and leaving and soon found themselves at the concierge desk, which was brown, with a black marble top. Chairs and tables were set out on a red-yellow swirly patterned carpet. Harry and Chandler almost crashed into the red sofas on their way over to the counter.

Several people were there, dealing with their hotel issues and Chandler noticed the yellow and red flag. He grabbed Monica and dragged her towards the center of the counter, where a woman dressed in a light yellow dress presided. Harry and Patrick followed suit.

"Um..." Chandler managed. "Do you have something for us?" He showed her one of the yellow clue envelopes.

"Yeah. First, you sign up on this sheet. It determines your departure time tomorrow," the woman pulled out a piece of hotel paper with timeslots like so: 9:30 – three spaces, 10:00 – two spaces and 10:30 – three spaces.

Monica picked up the pen and elegantly wrote her name and Chandler's name down on the first 9:30 spot. Harry took the pen from Monica and scrawled his name and his brother's down on the slot beneath Monica and Chandler's.

"Oh and these are your hotel keys for tonight. Breakfast is served tomorrow at the dining room over there," she stopped to point, "Enjoy your stay!"

"Oh wow, hotel rooms! This is the life!" Harry grinned at his brother.

"Hell yeah." Patrick high-fived his brother.

"Do you guys want to get some dinner?" Chandler asked the twins.

"Yeah, we should eat out! Shanghai-food, baby!" Harry beamed ecstatically.

"Then, let's go eat before we head to our rooms, what do you think?" Monica suggested, while rearranging a pillow arrangement on one of the sofas.

"Good idea – there were plenty of restaurants on the way here."

The four of them headed off to find a restaurant.

**P/|\J ~ S/|\R**

When Phoebe, Joey, Roger and Simon reached the Bund hotel, it quickly turned into a footrace. Phoebe and Joey dashed through the doors with ease, but their competitors were just as fast and desperate. Simon found the way to the concierge area, and all three of them chased after him. In the room, Phoebe almost knocked over a chair, while Roger almost tripped over one of the chair legs while the other hotel clients looked baffled at the desperate looks of the four foreigners. Simon, much to Phoebe's later dismay, reached the desk first and signed his name on the sheet.

"Yo, Roge, we are leaving on the first boat tomorrow!" He exclaimed.

"Damn it!" Phoebe swore when she looked at the sign-up sheet, "We are on Boat number two!"

"Shit!" Joey frowned, "By a few seconds too!"

"Why are Monica and Chandler always number one?" Phoebe pointed to the top of the list.

"Sure beats me!" Joey shrugged, "Hey, are those hotel keys in your hand?"

"Yeah, we have a hotel room tonight!" Phoebe exclaimed, "Let's go check it out!"

"Alright, Phoebs!" Joey grinned and the two of them went to go look for an elevator.

"Um... Roger, where is this boat taking us to tomorrow?" Simon asked, after plopping down on one of the red couches.

"I have no idea!" Roger sighed, "The sign-up sheet just tells us to meet at the entrance of the hotel at that time and more information will be revealed later!"

"What do you want to do now? It's almost ten o'clock!" Simon looked at his watch, "Pity about Joey and Phoebe, but we could take any bit of a lead that we can."

"Yeah, hey, do you want to walk around the Bund, slowly this time?" Roger suggested, "After all, we are here!"

"True," Simon thought for a moment, "Let's go!"

**R/|\R ~ M/|\K**

Ross and Rachel dashed frantically along the street of Guangdong Road. Ross and Meredith had finished their game of ping-pong ten minutes after the last two teams had arrived at the detour, and all four teams knew that there wasn't much of a time-gap between 5th place and last place.

"Are... we... almost... there... yet?" Rachel asked her boyfriend, panting between her words.

"You see that tan building over there? I think this is it!" Ross exclaimed, his aching legs pounding the pavement.

"I... am... exhausted!" Rachel managed.

"I know, I know! But Meredith and Kenneth are hot on our tails and who knows what's going to happen at the hotel!" Ross exclaimed.

The pair ran through a red light, to reach the hotel on the other side. Not that it mattered anyways – people in Shanghai cross at any light since cars don't always obey the rules.

Ross flung open the door of the hotel for Rachel to run through, and he followed her. Rachel ran into the concierge area, managed to slow her momentum before she did any damage to the furniture and headed towards the yellow and red flag, marking the next location.

"Hi there, you got anything for us?" Rachel asked the woman.

"Yeah, sign your name here," the lady pushed a piece of paper towards them.

"Monica, Chandler, Harry, Patrick, Simon, Roger, Phoebe and Joey," Rachel read out the names before scribbling her name and Ross's in the next available blank.

"Ten o'clock, Ross! That's our departure time! Meredith and Kenneth are going to be on the last boat!" Rachel gave her boyfriend a high-five.

Moments later, Meredith came running onto the red and yellow carpet. She weaved her way through the furniture before stopping at the desk, panting heavily.

"Oh no, we are on the last boat, daddy!" She cried out to her father, who just entered the area.

"That's alright, we aren't dead last," Kenneth sighed, "And we get a hotel room. I am pooped!"

"Yeah, I could use some sleep!" Meredith rubbed her aching arms and legs slowly.

"Let's go check out the room!" Kenneth turned to look for an elevator – his daughter followed suit.

"I kinda feel bad for them. They ran all the way here too!" Rachel whispered to her boyfriend on the couch.

"Yeah, what's our plan?" Ross replied back to Rachel.

"As much as I want to sleep, I really want to go back and explore those streets! Did you see all the shops?" Rachel almost overflowed with her enthusiasm.

"Did I ever!" Ross replied dryly.

"Let's go then!" Rachel found new energy – she couldn't wait to go shopping!

Ross dejectedly walked behind his enthusiastic girlfriend. He wanted nothing more than to sleep on the hotel bed that was calling his name.

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"Wow, they actually have translations here!" Chandler exclaimed when picking up one of the menus that their waiter had left at the center of the table.

"Unless if you want Halogen burned meat with bamboo shoots, I suggest you stay away from the English," Patrick quipped.

"Where's that? Sounds delicious!" Chandler joked back, "Oh here's the Fuck a Spring Chicken!"

"You are serious right?" Harry asked, while trying his hardest to hold back a laugh.

"Oh no, it's on page five," Chandler looked amused, "I think you guys better order unless if you want things like the palace explodes the shrimp boil and some black mushrooms rape."

Monica, Patrick and Harry ended up laughing into their hands.

"Oh dear god, you got to love Chinglish," Patrick managed between bursts of laughter.

"Holy cow, this is the funniest thing I've seen all day!" Harry grinned.

"So what are we going to eat?" Monica asked, "I certainly don't want the black mushrooms rape. Sounds like drugs!"

"Hm... since our Chinese reading skills suck, let's look at the pictures, Patty?" Harry suggested.

"Okay. Oh cool, they have that duck here! I want some!" Patrick exclaimed.

"And let's get some steamed bean sprouts with those mushrooms – that tastes so good!" Harry grinned.

"And we must have the stir-fried nian-gao!" Patrick smiled when he came across a picture on the menu.

"What's that?" Monica looked curiously at the picture that Patrick was pointing at.

"Oh, it's translated as year cakes, but the white stuff is the made out of rice, and stir-fried with veggies and meat. It's traditionally a Shanghainese dish, you see," Harry explained.

"Cool, Shanghainese dish?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, different parts of China eat different stuff. You will find Shanghainese food to be a little bit on the not spicy, sweeter side of the spectrum, and it's awesome!" Patrick flipped through the menu.

"Since we are on the topic of Shanghainese food – we could get some sweet-and-sour ribs," Harry mused.

"Oh yeah, definitely," Patrick grinned.

"I think that's enough, if you count the rice and the four dishes – especially the duck since it comes in three different forms – the one with pancake, the one with pure duck and the duck soup." Harry counted.

"Yeah, and if you want dessert, we could just walk by that McDonalds that we saw earlier. Saves a lot of money!" Patrick exclaimed.

"Let's order then!" Monica interjected, "I am starving!"

**P/|\J**

"Oh boy, oh boy!" Joey smiled happily as he bounced on his hotel bed, "This is so comfortable!"

Phoebe and Joey had been surprised to find that their hotel room was really spacious, with a white and brown theme.

"I know!" Phoebe grinned. She and Joey had finished taking their much-needed showers and they were feeling so much better.

"This is kinda like a pit stop!" Joey made a shrewd observation, "It's like Phil is giving us a chance to catch our breaths!"

"Yeah, he is humane!" Phoebe grinned happily, "I just realized something..."

"What?" Joey looked questioningly at his friend.

"We haven't had dinner yet!"

"My god! Really?" Joey exclaimed bewilderingly, "I am hungry now!"

"What do you want to eat?" Phoebe asked, "Chinese food?"

"Well, considering that we are in China... Hey there was that McDonalds we saw earlier!" Joey exclaimed.

"We come all the way here and you want to eat at McDonalds?" Phoebe shot Joey an exasperated look.

"Hell yeah. I miss New York!" Joey sighed.

"Alright, let's go to McDonalds!" Phoebe conceded, and the two of them headed back out their hotel room.

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"That was good!" Chandler exclaimed, after pushing his bowl and plate away.

"Yeah, it was!" Monica grinned, "That sweet and sour pork – it's like a new flavour all together!"

"That's because it's not that red stuff that gets used in white Asian places," Harry explained, "And heck, it was good – just like how my mom makes it!"

"Think it's a special combination of soy sauce and sugar," Patrick replied thoughtfully, "We are splitting the bill?"

"Oh yeah, definitely," Monica nodded, when the waiter dropped a black folder containing the receipt at their table.

Both teams scrutinized the bill and paid off their share. "What are we going to do with that leftover duck?" Chandler enquired, pointing to the plate that was half filled with duck meat.

"Oh dear god. I can't eat another bite," Patrick moaned.

"And we can't take it with us, obviously. Oily duck in take-out box isn't a conventional race around the world thing," Harry quipped.

"Seems like such a waste!" Monica sighed.

"Well, there's nothing we can do about it, heck why don't we just take it with us as a midnight snack!" Harry suggested.

"Fine, what are we doing now?" Chandler enquired, after Harry waved at the waiter and told him to fetch a take-out box.

"One night in Shanghai, heck I want to go back to the Bund, man!" Patrick replied.

"Yeah, all those pretty lights!" Monica grinned, "Even though we do have to get up tomorrow."

"Hm... sleep or sight-see?" Chandler asked with a joking tone in his voice.

"No-brainer right there!" Harry quipped, "Let's go see the sights!"

Patrick scooped the duck into the white Styrofoam container with his pair of wooden tan coloured chopsticks and the four of them departed the restaurant.

**P/|\J**

"Amazing on how they just show you a menu and you point to what you want!" Joey exclaimed, while taking a handful of fries and stuffing them in his mouth, "Oh how I missed fries!"

"Yeah, well, it's not like we can speak any Chinese!" Phoebe replied back, while helping herself to a chicken nugget, "Hm... these aren't quite the same as back home."

"You are right!" Joey took one of Phoebe's nuggets and stuffed it in his mouth, "This is not breast meat!"

"Really? It's some other part of the chicken then!" Phoebe reasoned.

"Probably," Joey shrugged, while opening the box of his second Big Mac, "Do you have any idea how heavenly this feels right now? I can almost imagine that we are in New York!"

"Minus the Mandarin everywhere," Phoebe observed.

"I am so tired," Joey changed onto a different avenue of conversation, "I can't even think straight anymore. I don't even want a third Big Mac!"

"Really?" Phoebe asked her partner sceptically, "Joey Tribbiani – too tired to eat?"

"What?"Joey exclaimed.

"It's abnormal!" Phoebe looked critically at Joey.

"Well, this is an abnormal situation!" Joey replied back, "And I am so sleeping after this!"

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"So here we are, the Bund!" Harry grinned, when the group strolled up to the familiar stretch of buildings.

"Oh yeah, hasn't lost its awe!" Chandler replied back, "You guys want to cross the road and walk on the breezy side?"

"Good idea!" Monica exclaimed back, "It's almost midnight and it's still so humid!"

"Yeah, my t-shirt is sticking to my skin," Patrick pulled at his sticky shirt.

The two teams crossed the road which had significantly less cars than when everyone was doing the Roadblock. There were still a large amount of tourists out, but the number had slightly diminished.

"Oh my god! Hey guys!" Roger waved happily to the four approaching people.

"Wow, you guys are out here too!" Harry exclaimed, "Nice!"

"What's that in your hand?" Simon asked, pointing to the white bag.

"Leftover Peking duck!" Patrick replied back.

"What's the difference between Peking and Beijing? They are like used so interchangeably," Roger asked.

"Nothing. Peking is what Beijing was formerly called," Harry explained.

"How fascinating! Can we have that duck? We are starving!" Simon's stomach made a large rumble.

"Yes, please take it!" Patrick shoved the box into Simon's hands.

"Thanks guys," Simon opened the bag, and looked at the contents in the box.

"Do we have any tissues? We can use those as utensils," Roger suggested to his partner.

"Oh yeah, let's sit down and eat!" Simon replied back.

All six of them sat down on the concrete blocks located beside the grey tiles that decorated the path on the Puxi coast. Simon and Roger ate their meat hungrily, not caring that their hands were getting a bit on the oily side. Monica and Chandler found themselves holding hands, and looking at the Pudong coast, while stealing glances at each other. They both grinned when they caught each other in the act, smiling like newlyweds. Harry and Patrick were staring directly opposite the river too, both their minds wandering around nostalgia lane.

"This is like our second honeymoon," Monica whispered to her husband, "Everything is so nice... so romantic, except those people over there," Monica pointed to the other two teams.

"Haha, we don't come as part as the romantic package?" Harry quipped.

"Not romantic enough for you guys?" Patrick chimed in, a large smile etched on his face.

"The jokes, for one thing," Monica retorted back, "Not to mention the interruptions!"

"And two engaged guys eating Peking duck with their hands, very romantic," Chandler smiled, "Yeah, we should come back here, sans other people."

"Well, you are here for free, so we come in a package!" Patrick smiled.

"Wish my girlfriend was here," Harry sighed, "We would walk around, holding hands, bargaining for cheap goodies in Shanghainese, and go on a boat ride."

"Shanghainese?" Chandler raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, what's that?" Roger asked.

"Dialect of Shanghai," Patrick explained, "If you want things here at rock-bottom prices, speak Shanghainese and look Shanghainese."

"Oh yeah, definitely," Harry grinned, "The elite in Shanghai speak the dialect."

"Ooh boat rides!" Simon exclaimed when he saw a brightly lit boat cruise the river, "We should go on one, like, now!"

"Race tomorrow!" Roger retorted back.

"One night only!" Harry exclaimed, "Plus, it's not expensive!"

"You are right. We are stuck in this nice, foreign country..." Chandler trailed off.

"Might as well make the use of every opportunity!" Patrick chimed in.

"Oh kay! Let's go then! The sooner we get on the boat, the sooner we sleep!" Monica marched them all off to the nearest tour boat dock.

**R/|\R**

"Rachel! Can't we go back yet? It's almost midnight!" Ross exclaimed, after Rachel pulled him into what was probably the twentieth shop along the busy East Nanjing Road.

"Just one more shop, please!" Rachel, who was clutching bags of cheap Chinese things that she liked, was busy looking at another rack of clothes.

"But you said that like ten shops ago!" Ross groaned.

"And I can't believe you aren't shopping – some of these things are so cheap," Rachel exclaimed.

"Well, they are after all knock-offs of the real thing," Ross sighed, "Didn't you see the prices of brand name stuff – they were in the thousands of renminbi!"

"Yeah," Rachel replied back, focusing more on the rack of clothes in front of her.

"And we are going to run out of money, honey, if you keep spending it!" Ross groaned again.

"Well, we can always start selling the crap that you collect after today's hotel stay!" Rachel retorted back.

Ross sighed, and followed Rachel back out the store, only to have her walk into the one beside that.

"This is going to be one long night," Ross thought, as Rachel disappeared under another pile of various coloured clothing.

**H/|\P ~ R/|\S**

"Now, this is the life," Roger remarked to his partner, their hair blowing in the wind generated by the movement of the cruise boat in the Huangpu River.

"Definitely," Harry eavesdropped on their conversation. He was standing beside Roger, at the open front of the boat.

"Attempt at romantic night here, Harry!" Simon groaned exasperatingly, one arm encircling his partner's waist.

"That's what Monica and Chandler said the last time I tried to speak with them!" Patrick interjected, "They snuck away somehow when I wasn't looking."

"Yeah, you guys need to be chaperoned!" Harry grinned mischievously, "Keeping things rated E for everyone, y'know!"

Roger and Simon gave each other exasperated looks. "Well, in that case," Roger said, after sharing a few significant looks with his significant other. They began to kiss and make-out on the deck of the boat.

"Okay, we did not need to see that!" Patrick was starting to look a little green. And it definitely was not from sea-sickness.

"C'mon, Patty – it's obvious that we are not needed here!" Harry groaned, "Let's look for the other couple."

"Agreed," Patrick concurred, peeling his eyes away from the front of the deck. Roger and Simon looked like they were going to drop all caution to the wind and have sex right there and then. The twins hurriedly fled back to the inside of the boat.

"Aha, works like a charm!" Simon smirked back to his partner, after breaking apart from their intense kiss.

"No duh, now where were we?" Roger asked.

"Oh I know," Simon leaned in to give his partner another kiss.

**M/|\C**

"Wow, we finally gave those twins the slip," Chandler grinned at his wife on top of the boat. The couple had found a ladder leading up to the top deck of the boat, which was actually a small oval shaped thing on top of the two floors of cabins. There were large comfortable cushioned seats that they could sit on.

"Yeah, it does get kind of annoying after awhile," Monica sighed, "I mean, we need alone time!"

"Poor Roger and Simon," Chandler smiled, "Wonder how they are going to get rid of the twins."

"Boat ride was a good idea," Monica looked around the two coasts, the old-fashioned buildings of The Bund on one side and the marvels of modern architecture on the other. Colourful lights adorned both views.

"Apparently it's 37 degrees out here," Chandler pointed to a tall building with a display featuring red Chinese characters moving and displaying the temperature at the top. "Really hot," Chandler remarked.

"Well, that's not the only thing that's hot around here," Monica grinned mischievously at her husband.

"Oh definitely," Chandler leaned closer to his wife to kiss her, "Do you think we could do it here?"

"Tsk, Chandler – in public?" Monica waggled her eyebrows at her husband.

"Well, I've got a condom here," Chandler went through the contents of his bag, before pulling out a packet.

"Hm..." Monica sat and contemplated her future course of action.

"Well, we did it in the Eiffel Tower, on the hot deserts of Egypt, a castle at St. Petersburg, several airport and airplane lavatories..." Chandler started listing.

"Oh to the heck with it, let's do" it!" Monica jumped her very surprised husband.

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P ~ R/|\S ~ P/|\J ~ R/|\R**

"That was so not a rated E for everyone boat ride!" Patrick exclaimed during breakfast the next day, "It was so not!"

"I know!" Harry remarked back with horror, while helping himself to a deep fried dough stick, "Some images were not meant to be seen!"

"Well, who told you to come up there?" Chandler retorted back, "The hatch on the ceiling was closed for a reason!"

"Yeah, it would help if you taped a note saying – roof occupied!" Patrick suggested, while scooping out some congee from a large bowl, complete with preserved duck egg, green onion and bits of meat.

"And Monica, you may want to keep it down a bit," Roger joined the conversation, "We could hear you screaming two decks down!"

Monica blushed.

"Fortunately, most people thought it was someone calling out for their kid," Harry replied back.

"How fortunate," Monica replied dryly. Chandler rolled his eyes.

"Wow, your night sounds so interesting," Phoebe exclaimed, over her green onion pancake, "We just went to McDonalds."

"I wish I went to McDonalds," Ross groaned, "That was over thirty stores that we went to! I am surprised we could fit all the stuff in our bags!"

"Well, I was also carrying all the bags, Ross, so you got off lucky!" Rachel retorted indignantly back.

"And I am exhausted," Roger sighed, "As much fun the cruise was, it was probably not the best decision."

"Yeah, we are tired and money supplies are dwindling," Patrick agreed, his fingers idly playing with the clean white tablecloth that covered their table.

"Oh crap, it's almost 9:30, we better go!" Harry looked at his watch.

The twins, Monica and Chandler and Simon and Roger stuffed the last bite of their breakfast into their mouths, set down their utensils and left hurriedly out of the breakfast room.

"Damn, they sounded like they had a good night!" Ross exclaimed, "Although I can't believe they did it on a boat – outside!"

"Yeah," Joey replied back, "I knida wish we went on a cruise."

"You were tired, remember?" Phoebe reminded Joey.

"Oh right," Joey replied back.

"Amazing on how the lack of sleep impairs one's judgement," Rachel quipped.

**M/|\C ~ R/|\S ~ H/|\P**

The six of them were greeted by a man dressed in one of the hotel employee outfits at the front entrance. The man took their hotel keys and scrutinized them carefully before handing them their next clue. He then gave them a good-bye and a good luck. Chandler ripped open his envelope, in which he found two tickets to a ferry that would take them across the Huangpu River to the other side at 9:50, and their next clue.

"Cross the Huangpu river, by ferry to the other side to Pudong. Walk to the Oriental Pearl Tower, where you will find your next clue at the bottom of the tower. Good luck." Monica read over Chandler's shoulder.

"Twenty minutes to get to the ferry! Let's go!" Patrick and his brother were already out the door. Monica, Chandler, Roger and Simon chased after them. The twins jogged leisurely down Guangdong road followed by the other two teams, into the rush hour crowd of people heading off to work and tourists taking a leisurely morning walk down the streets of Puxi. Chandler was glad that he had spent time before the race exercising so that he could keep up without tiring too much – despite the lack of sleep.

Minutes later, they had arrived at the Bund. The six crossed the road, and ran off in the opposite direction away from East Nanjing road to find the ferry dock indicated by the tickets. Harry and Patrick stopped to ask several people to make sure they were heading off in the right direction.

At 9:45, the six of them found the dock, and boarded the ferry, along with other tourists who wanted to take water transportation instead of the metro.

"See, we ended up on the boat anyways," Chandler observed, thinking about last night's adventures on the river.

"Yeah, but the view isn't as pretty," Patrick sighed, "No lights, no darkness – everyone heading off to work. Reminds me about my job back home."

"I miss my job," Harry stated, "I love it. Looking at neurons and figuring out how they work – while contributing new knowledge to help others."

"Me too," Roger replied, "I love programming games – and testing them out!"

"Damn, you are a game designer?" Patrick asked, "I envy you. I don't miss my job – doing corporate accounting is rather mundane!"

"Yup, work for Blizzard," Roger smiled, "Helped out with WOW, and the other Warcraft games!"

"Wow!" Harry grinned, "You've got to hook me up with some games!"

"Sure, but I can't tell you much about what I am designing now – it's a secret!" Roger sighed, "Not even Simon knows."

"I love my job too. Even though my violin skills are deteriorating everyday that we are here!" Simon frowned a little.

"Yeah, I miss cooking!" Monica added.

"I surely don't miss my job. I don't cook, perform music, contribute to science, design awesome video games, nor do I look at corporate accounts!" Chandler added his sigh.

"Oh trust me, it's incredibly boring," Patrick reassured, "You aren't missing out on much."

"Oh look, we are moving!" Harry exclaimed as their small boat (much smaller than yesterday's night cruise) took off.

**R/|\R ~ P/|\J**

"Wow, it's been a while since we were stuck on the same boat," Rachel remarked to Joey, Phoebe and her boyfriend on the ferry – outside on the deck. The cold air-conditioning in the cabin had proven to be too much for the four of them.

"Yeah," Phoebe replied back.

"Only Mon and Chandler are missing," Joey sighed, "But they are really fast!"

"Mrs. Efficiency," Ross mumbled glumly about his sister, "Chandler, Harry and Patrick are ridiculously efficient as well, despite all their jokes."

"Oh, don't look so glum," Rachel reprimanded Ross, "We should be happy that we are on the second boat, and that we have this opportunity to see the world for free!"

"That is so true!" Phoebe exclaimed, "I love this race! Thank you Phil!" Phoebe waved at one of the nearby cameramen who were always with them during the race.

"What do you think we are doing across the river?" Rachel asked.

The rest shrugged.

**M/|\C ~ R/|\S ~ H/|\P**

As soon as the boat docked at the other side of the Huangpu River, the six of them ran out of the boat, onto the wooden dock. They soon hit the Riverside Promenade – which was like the Puxi walkway on the other side. Instead of the large gray stone tiles on the ground, the tiles here were small and gray, while red tiles outlined large rectangles.

There was no need to ask for directions, since the Oriental Pearl tower could be seen from miles away. Monica took note of the neatly manicured grass and hedges along the pathway, and admired the red, yellow and orange flowerbeds that were organized along the path. Harry and Patrick were stealing glances from across the river, to admire the Puxi side.

All six of them jogged slowly down the promenade, looking for a street that would lead them closer towards the distinctive pink and silver tower.

They turned when they hit an intersection that led them further into Pudong by crossing another busy street, filled with taxis, cars and motorcycles. Exhaust and noise filled the air around the busy city streets.

Minutes later, they found themselves at the entrance of the Oriental Pearl Tower. Roger reached the clue-box standing in the crowds of tourists lining up to get tickets in order to enter the building. He opened up the box and took out a clue. Monica and Patrick joined him, while Harry, Simon and Chandler paused to catch their breaths, fanning their t-shirts, already made sticky by the humidity.

"Detour," Simon took out the familiar yellow paper.

"Detour, Sequence it or Dive it," Patrick read breathlessly, before handing the card over to his brother who continued reading.

"Sequence it – make your way to the Shanghai Science and Technology Museum. Head off to the Wild Spectrum of Life exhibit and finish building a DNA model. Dive it – make your way to the Shanghai Ocean Aquarium. Both members will put on dive-suits to search for five jewels buried underneath the bottom of the tank in the Deep Ocean Zone. Note: Only two teams may work the task at the same time." Harry finished reading on behalf of Patrick.

"Woah, they both sound very intense," Roger exclaimed.

"We call Dive it!" Monica called out and started to drag Chandler towards the direction of the Aquarium which could be seen from the Oriental Tower.

"Us too!" Harry exclaimed, "The Aquarium is just over there anyways!"

The twins ran to catch up with Monica and Chandler who were heading out of the crowded entrance area of the Pearl Oriental Tower and onto West Yin Cheng Road, where the Aquarium was located at the next intersection.

"Damn it!" Simon exclaimed, "We better haul our butts over to that Science and Tech Museum!"

"Don't worry Simon, there was a stop called the Science and Technology Museum on the metro on the way over to East Nanjing Road yesterday!" Roger reassured him.

"You are right!" Simon exclaimed, "And the metro is just across the street! Let's go!"

The couple left the crowded entrance area as well, and crossed the street when the light turned green. They descended into the steps of Lu Jia Zui station, walked through the halls decorated with Chinese advertisements shown on screens, swiped their cards and entered the subway system.

**R/|\R ~ P/|\J**

"Wow, look at all the people here!" Joey exclaimed when the four of them entered the busy surroundings of the Pearl Oriental Tower.

"And this isn't even inside!" Ross remarked, "Oh, the clue-box is over there!" Ross pointed in the middle of the crowd.

Rachel and Phoebe got to the box first, and retrieved their respective clues.

"On the count of three?" Phoebe asked Rachel.

"Yeah," Rachel grinned back at Phoebe.

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

"Rip!"

They both ripped their envelopes at the same time, while Ross and Joey surveyed the scene in front of them and shrugged.

"Women!" Joey exclaimed.

"Don't get them at all!" Ross sighed.

"Detour!" Phoebe shouted.

"We will probably all have to do Sequence it," Rachel sighed, "The other teams get dibs."

Ross walked over and read the clue. "Oh DNA, that's not too bad – let's go Rach!"

"But I wanted to dive in a tank full of sea life!" Phoebe sighed, "That would be a once in a lifetime experience!"

"Phoebs, do you really want to dive in a tank with sharks and stuff?" Joey thought for a moment.

"Now that I think about it, no!" Phoebe shook her head rigorously.

"Let's go, we can't just dilly-dawdle all day!" Rachel was already running towards the metro on the other side.

"Wait for me, Rach!" Ross ran after his girlfriend.

Phoebe and Joey nodded to each other and scrambled after their friends.

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"Holy, moly, hell – those are two huge-ass tanks!" Patrick exclaimed when the two teams found themselves at the Deep Ocean Zone area of the Aquarium.

"Beautiful," Harry exclaimed when an enormous shark cruised by.

"Scary!" Chandler remarked, "Wasn't that a Great White that just passed?"

Harry looked at the passing shark, and then thought for a minute. "Oh dear god, I think you may be right."

Patrick exclaimed, "Don't you dare chicken out on me now Harry Zhang! Don't you dare!"

"I am not a chicken," Harry frowned at his brother.

"Neither am I," Monica grinned at the swimming marine life, "Can't wait!"

"I might be one," Chandler replied, while making chicken noises and flapping his arms around.

"We are ready for you!" A young man dressed in a blue Aquarium t-shirt indicated to the pair of teams.

Monica elbowed her husband, "We are going in, whether you like it, or not!"

"Oh dear lord, I am going to be in the same tank as carnivorous sharks!" The thought just entered Patrick's mind.

"Who's the chicken now?" Harry quipped back.

The four of them were led into an equipment room nearby, and were helped into custom made diving suits that had been made for them for the race. The suits were dark, the flippers a dark blue, a mask and a tank containing a mixture of oxygen and nitrogen were strapped on their backs by several other employees wearing the same blue t-shirt.

"Okay guys, I know there's some very scary stuff in that tank, but everything has been fed – so they won't eat you. Just move slowly, no sudden aggressive movements, don't panic, and you should be fine." A woman dressing up Patrick reassured the lot of them.

"And there aren't any great white sharks," the young man who led them in grinned, "These are less dangerous carnivores."

"When you guys find the jewels – they are fake, by the way – surface and place your jewels in a sack that has been attached to the glass of the aquarium. The sacks have your names on them, so don't put it in the wrong bag. Plus, we will be supervising you guys so no foul play, okay?" The young guy dressing up Chandler added.

"And don't worry about the air supply – there should be more than enough for this task."

"Okay guys, you are set!" A man led the four of them upstairs, where the top of the tank could be seen. An assortment of sea-life greeted them, and Chandler found himself taking the first step into the entirely different world beneath him. Monica followed after her husband and plunged in – heading towards the bottom.

Harry and Patrick leapt into the water together, and into the dark waters below. They both headed towards the bottom of the artificial small portion of the ocean. The shark that they had been talking about earlier – the Great White look-alike brushed against Harry, which caused him to almost have a heart attack. An enormous manta ray happily drifted beside Patrick, swishing its tail about.

Near Chandler, as he began his slow decent to the bottom, being mindful about slow non-aggressive movements was an enormous sea turtle – probably as large as his torso, maybe bigger – Chandler thought to himself. A smaller shark darted in front of him, which forced him to stay still for that second. His wife had already descended to the bottom, her hands raking through the different coloured pebbles that served as the bottom, being mindful of the seaweed and various coloured sea anemones. A small manta ray, slightly larger than Monica's hand hovered nearby, acting as if it curious to why she was digging at the depths of its ocean home.

Chandler soon found himself at the bottom, near several large rocks at the centre of the tank. He quickly raked through the piles of colourful sediment, and grinned when a school of small fish swam by. It was surreal, that he was surrounded by exotic sea animals, in Shanghai. It might as well be a dream. He systematically made his way from the base of an enormous gray and white rock and moved outwards.

Harry and Patrick had both reached the bottom and swam towards opposite corners. None of them wanted to be looking in the same spot as the other. The giant sea turtle had taken a liking to Harry, and was following him where ever he went. "I have a friend," Harry thought to himself, "Nice!" He and the turtle swam off towards the inner most corner and he started his scavenger hunt from there, avoiding the delicate looking sponges and coral near the side.

Patrick trailed his hand lazily in the sediment; he didn't even know what the jewels they were supposed to be looking for looked like. "This is so unreal," he thought, "Corporate accountant digging through the bottom of an ocean. Crazy! Wonder what all my co-workers would think after this stunt!" He raked through sediment to find more sediment. Fortunately, the layer at the bottom was not thick.

Monica had started from the centre of one side of the tank, and she held her breath when the big huge brown shark with a white belly zoomed by. A rather fearsome sight, she thought. Just then, her fingers touched something smooth with clearly defined edges, unlike the round pebbles and sediment that she had been handling previously. The jewel was clear and transparent, like a diamond. She memorized the location where she had stopped her search and swam off to her husband.

Chandler saw the jewel and gave her the thumbs up, so she prompted kicked hard and propelled herself back out the tank. At the surface, she took off her wet goggles and searched the bags. She finally found a blue bag with her name and Chandler's on it, and she deposited her find in the sack. She quickly dove down again, after donning her eyewear, to see Harry making the journey back up. She grinned when she saw the sea turtle follow him.

**R/|\R ~ P/|\J ~ R/|\S**

Ross, Phoebe, Joey and Rachel exited the metro to emerge into an area shaded by a curved glass structure. A magnificent courtyard greeted their eyes, made up of geometric shapes. The ground was concrete but black lines defined squares. Many metres away, another glass structure, similar to the one they were under stood. They quickly realized that the concrete they stood on was in the shape of a perfect circle, surrounded by manicured grass rather like an island, with four bridges that connected the concrete circle to more concrete that outlined a green square containing a grey and black circle. The bridges bisected the square perfectly.

The concrete also formed another square – so it was basically a large gray square, with a green grass square and a circle. Trees were planted evenly around the perimeter of the square, leaving gaps at the mid area of the square, leading to more pathways or a set of stairs that led the two teams up to the museum. The museum was a large glass affair; a large curved modern building that could easily be part of some sci-fi movie. An enormous glass sphere stood at the centre of the front of the building, the slanted ceiling had a hole large enough to expose the top of the globe.

The four of them found themselves running up several flights of stairs, and on large stretches of concrete before they entered the museum itself. The climb left them panting at the top, and they entered by showing their clues in lieu of a ticket. Following the colourful signs, the two teams were able to locate their way to the exhibit mentioned on the clue, where they found Simon and Roger hard at work, assembling half of a DNA double helix.

"Hey guys!" Phoebe greeted the couple.

"Hey Phoebs, hey Ross, hey Rach and hey Joey!" The couple greeted back, while still concentrating on the task in front of them.

"Okay guys," one of the supervisors of the task called them, "Pick a DNA model to work on – assemble the other half basically – following the guide that has been left out."

"Alright!" Rachel and Ross took the model to the left of Roger and Simon, while Phoebe and Joey took the one to the right.

"Wow, this is half the DNA," Ross exclaimed.

"So what do we do?" Rachel asked her boyfriend, "I don't know anything about DNA!"

"Okay," Ross replied, "Basically there are four bases in DNA."

"Bases?" Rachel asked in confusion.

"Do you see the coloured block in here?" Ross pointed to red, green, blue and yellow blocks at the end of a stick and purple twistable material connected each stick at 90 degree angles to form half a DNA ladder.

"Yeah," Rachel nodded.

"Those are bases. According to the legend here, the short red block is thymine, the long yellow block is adenine, the long blue block is guanine and the tiny green block is cytosine." Ross explained.

Rachel looked bemused, "And..."

"So basically," Ross picked up a blue guanine and placed it beside the tiny green cytosine on the model and snapped them together, "Cytosine goes with guanine and adenine goes with thymine."

"Oh!" Rachel grinned, "So we put the green with blue and the yellow with red. What the hell do these bases do anyways?"

Ross snapped a black stick onto the guanine that he had just attached. "Oh it's the alphabet of genes. They code for stuff, like your eye-colour."

"I see," Rachel looked at the blocks dubiously, "These four blocks are the key to life?"

"Essentially, yes," Ross nodded, while attaching an adenine to thymine. Rachel passed him a black stick.

At the other table, Phoebe and Joey were standing and looking bemusedly at their DNA ladder.

"Okay, so what I know," Phoebe began, "Red is adenine, yellow is thymine, green is cytosine and blue is guanine. Red goes with yellow and blue goes with green." She began to methodically snap blue pieces onto green, green pieces on to blue, yellow pieces onto red and visa versa.

"I don't understand, Phoebs," Joey looked at his friend with confusion written all over his face.

"Okay, you know what, just snap the black sticks onto the blocks I put on; can you do that?" Phoebe asked, while rapidly assembling the bases.

"Yeah, let's do it!" Joey collected a handful of black rods and snapped them in place as Phoebe finished pairing up the bases.

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

Chandler dove up from the tank carefully, mindful of the predators that swam in the tank with him. He found the bag with their team's names written on them and he deposited a red jewel into the bag. It turned out that all the jewels looked kind of different. He stuffed his gloved fingers in the bag and counted four jewels. He removed his hand and dove back down to the centre where he was working at. Harry and Patrick were also methodically searching their corners; Chandler wasn't quite sure how far the twins were along in the detour – he and Monica had been working as fast as possible, knowing that this detour required efficiency and a bit of luck.

Patrick systematically worked through his corner. He had managed to find three jewels so far, while Harry had found a measly one. He sighed, as well as he could with the SCUBA mask on. He dug and dug and dug again, finding more rocks and pebbles and dust. A small shark swam from behind him and curiously butted his arm with his head, before zooming off to the other end of the aquarium.

Harry, working his way in his lonely corner found his hand hitting something with defined edges. Triumphantly, he grasped the last jewel, one that was purple – rather like an amethyst and quickly swam over to his brother. He tapped Patrick on the shoulder and showed him the jewel. They high-fived and surfaced the sea water together. Harry dropped his treasure into the sack; Patrick took the bag off the glass. Harry took off his mask and helped his brother with his. Patrick handed his bag of jewels to the nearby supervisor who counted the shiny rocks in his hand. "Congratulations guys. You have completed the search. Come out of there and we will help you out of your suits."

Patrick and Harry followed the beaming supervisor back into the room and were helped out of their dripping suits.

Chandler groaned when he saw the twins leave the tank; he knew that they were done now. He quickened his searching pace, without sacrificing care and dug frantically into the sediment, hoping that the last jewel will come out. Just then, he felt a tap on his shoulder, and turned around to face Monica who had an amber coloured jewel in her hand. He gave her another thumbs up and the pair of them surfaced.

Monica dropped her amber jewel into the bag and Chandler detached the cloth from the wall. He swam over to a woman, who was supervising the task in SCUBA gear and handed her the bag. She stuck her hand in and counted the contents before giving them the nod. She helped them out of their masks.

"Wow, that was..." Chandler started.

"Amazing," Monica completed her husband's sentence.

"As the British would say; bloody fantastic!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Glad you guys liked it. We came up with the idea for the detour," the diver grinned.

"Really? I thought Phil did," Monica said.

She grinned, "No, Phil asked us if we would like to host a detour."

"Nice, good idea." Chandler smiled.

When they re-entered the equipment room, Harry and Patrick were still tangled up in their wetsuits. The other employees helped them remove the wet material from their bodies before giving them the next clue.

"Wow, intense detour," Harry exclaimed when they all exited the building.

"Yeah, what does the clue say?" Chandler asked Monica, who was in the process o"f ripping the envelope.

"Better be the pit-stop. I am fucking exhausted!" Patrick wiped his forehead with his hand.

"And your dreams are about to come true," Monica quipped, "Travel to the pit-stop which is located at Xin Tian Di, wherever that is. The mat will be found at the First Communist Party Hall, followed by lots of Chinese! (第一个共产主义的宴会厅)."

"Yay!" Patrick cheered, "Let's head back to the metro, I think we should be able to get there by subway."

"Yeah, let's go!"

The twins and Monica and Chandler headed out of the museum, to bump into Meredith and Kenneth, who were now entering.

"We can do the detour here, right?" Kenneth asked the two teams heading out.

"Yeah, we just finished; good luck guys!" Harry waved to them before they ran out of the building.

**R/|\R ~ P/|\J ~ S/|\R**

An intense DNA building race was commencing in the exhibit, as Joey, Phoebe, Simon, Roger, Ross and Rachel scrambled to finish their ladders as fast as they could. There were at least five hundred base pair matches that they all had to do. Phoebe and Joey had somehow managed to catch up with Simon and Roger, and Ross and Rachel weren't far behind.

All teams were silent, as they quickly did their task as fast and precise as they could. The room wasn't silent though. A bunch of curious onlookers were watching the three teams assemble the ladders. Chatter and the clicking of the pieces as they went in were the noises that surrounded the teams. Roger grinned when he snapped the last base of their DNA, while Simon snapped on the last black rod. Together, they quickly assembled the twisty purple pieces into one long purple piece that was almost two metres long and quickly attached the black rods onto the purple pieces.

Joey and Phoebe had also snapped on the last piece – an adenine resting together with a thymine. Joey snapped on the black rod, and the two of them dealt with the purple pieces together. Ross and Rachel were working frantically to finish.

At that moment, Trevor, Natasha, Arlene and Yvonne came running into the exhibit, eager to join the detour. The supervisor directed them to their work stations, and they quietly began to work as well – scrutinizing the pieces that were laid out in front of them.

Simon quickly called over one of the supervisors who examined their work with a critical eye. She nodded to them after a few minutes and handed them their next clue.

Roger tore it open and the two of them stared at the next paper.

"Taxis are still out right?" Simon asked his partner.

"I think so, they did mention that all transportation in Shanghai must be public transportation as in buses and subways." Roger sighed, "Taxis are more personal."

"True, let's head off to the metro, it shouldn't be too hard to find. Heck even I heard about Xintiandi somewhere!" Simon exclaimed.

"Let's go!"

Two minutes later, Joey and Phoebe called another supervisor to scrutinize their work. Halfway through, she shook her head. "There's something wrong."

"Damn it!" Joey swore, and Phoebe went back to check the bases. Joey did too, since he finally understood the significance of the different colours. Red went with yellow, yellow went with red, green went with blue and blue went with green. The mantra repeated itself over and over again in his head.

"Phoebe you put a red with a green!" Joey pointed out to the error halfway down.

"O shit! You are right!" Phoebe snapped off the offending base and replaced it with the correct nucleotide.

"And that blue over there is wrong – should be a yellow!" Joey pointed to another mistake at the end of the DNA ladder.

"Oh my god. I am so tired, Joey." Phoebe groaned, "No wonder I am making mistakes!"

Joey quickly fixed all of Phoebe's mistakes. Meanwhile at Ross and Rachel's table, they had finished assembling their DNA. Ross waved another supervisor over. The man walked over to their table and scrutinized their work carefully.

"Hao, you may have your next clue."

"Xie, xie!" Rachel replied back before ripping the envelope.

"Pit stop, a woohoo!" Ross yelled, before grabbing Rachel's hand and exiting the exhibit room.

Phoebe and Joey got another supervisor, and he looked at their base pairs rather slowly but carefully. Phoebe was getting a little impatient but held her tongue. He finally gave them a nod and presented their next clue. Phoebe ripped the envelope with her suppressed frustration and looked at the contents.

"Back to the subway," she whispered to Joey, who nodded. The pair of them exited the room, leaving unbearable tension between Arlene, Yvonne, Natasha and Trevor who were all fighting to be not last.

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"So how are we doing this again?" Chandler asked the twins while they were on the Line 2 subway.

"Getting off at the next stop – East Nanjing Road – transfer to Line 10." Patrick pointed to a metro map in his hand.

"Ah, and there's Xintiandi station," Monica remarked, looking at the faded puple-ish coloured line.

"Oh yeah, pretty simple," Chandler grinned.

"Fighting for first place again, aren't we?" Harry smirked at the couple.

"Yeah," Monica grinned.

"You should let us win – you guys won at least thrice!" Patrick exclaimed.

"But I like winning!" Monica smiled slyly at the twins.

"Yeah, the woman likes winning!" Chandler added.

"Fair and square – we will work for it!" Patrick replied back.

"Xià yí zhàn shì Nanjing dōng lù, zài zhè li, nǐ kě yǐ zhuǎn dào 10 hào xiàn. The next stop is East Nanjing Road. Here you can transfer to Line ten."

"Well here we are!" Harry remarked as all four of them exited onto the East Nanjing Road platform. All four of them headed up the stairs, and followed the light purple arrows that directed them to the Line 10 metro line. They found themselves descending another two flights of stairs a minute or two later.

"This one!" Harry pointed to the side where Xintiandi was still lit up on the ceiling. On all the platforms on the Shanghai metro system, there is an electronic map at the top, attached to the ceiling that indicates with lights the next stops the subway will make.

"Yup," Chandler looked up, "It's definitely the right side!"

"I won't lead you guys astray!" Patrick grinned, "I never get lost!"

"Well, I know someone who said that once," Chandler quipped.

"Me too, and guess what condition they ended up in?" Harry continued the joke.

"Let me guess! Lost?" Monica grinned.

"It was a very sad day. Famous last words, indeed," Harry dead-panned.

"Oh shut up!" Patrick groaned.

Chandler interjected, "So what? You have never gotten lost before, Patrick?"

"And if he says yes – he's a liar!" Harry added.

But before Patrick could defend his honour, the subway had arrived in front of them. This line had fewer passengers than Line 2.

**P/|\J ~ R/|\R ~ R/|\S**

"Damn it, we really did screw up big time!" Roger remarked to Simon on the subway. The train had just passed Lu Jia Zui and was heading towards East Nanjing Road.

"Yeah, if we spoke a little faster, we could have done the other detour," Simon groaned, "They were practically two stops closer to the pit stop!"

"Practically? You mean they are two stops closer!" Roger replied back.

"Oh too late to moan and groan now," Phoebe interjected.

"True," Roger sighed, "The might-have-beens!"

"We could've been first too!" Simon mused, "Now we are fighting for third place."

"Hey at least we aren't fighting for last place!" Joey interrupted.

"Who the hell wants to fight for last place? You mean fighting not to be last!" Ross added.

"What the man said!" Joey pointed to Ross.

"Xià yí zhàn shì Nanjing dōng lù, zài zhè li, nǐ kě yǐ zhuǎn dào 10 hào xiàn. The next stop is East Nanjing Road. Here you can transfer to Line ten."

"And we get off here," Rachel remarked for the benefit of the other teams.

"Oh we know," Joey sighed, "We have interesting experiences with East Nanjing Road."

"That's right," Phoebe remarked, remembering how they had missed the stop yesterday, costing them precious minutes.

The train slowed as it approached the platform. The doors opened and all three teams made their way through the noon crowd.

"Damn, it's almost lunchtime!" Joey looked at his watch.

"No time! No time!" Phoebe ran after Ross and Rachel and Simon and Roger who were running up the stairs, weaving through the bunch of people.

Joey sighed, and ran to catch up with the rest of them.

**M/|\C ~ H/|\P**

"These old houses are really cool!" Chandler remarked to Monica as they ran through the alleyways of the old Shikumen style houses.

"No time! No time!" Monica yelled, as they ran neck to neck with Harry and Patrick. Everyone was panting, and the hot midday sun with the almost suffocating humidity was doing no wonders for anyone.

Eventually they turned onto a corner and ran along a gray sidewalk, where tall white-barked trees grew. A dark brick building with red lines made by red bricks soon came into view. All four saw Phil, waiting with a Chinese woman dressed in a red silk dress at the mat. They all put on a burst of speed.

The building behind Phil – the site of the First National Communist Party Congress – had four black wooden doors surrounded by a frame of tan coloured stone and a red engraving that featured an arch at the top of the doors. Harry made a desperate lunge at the last second and landed at Phil's feet. Patrick, then Monica and Chandler made their way onto the mat. Harry picked himself up and all three looked up at Phil.

"Welcome to Shanghai, China," The woman did a little curtsy to the two teams.

They all nodded politely back, and thanked the woman.

"This isn't a triple leg, isn't it?" Harry quipped to Phil.

"It could be," Phil grinned mischievously.

"You couldn't be that cruel," Monica was still breathing deeply from the run throughout Xintiandi.

"Fortunately, this is the end of the double-leg," Phil grinned, "Harry and Patrick, Monica and Chandler, you guys are teams' number one and two. Congratulations."

"Alright!" Harry and Patrick jumped up and down in joy while Monica and Chandler merely smiled at each other and shared a quick kiss.

"For coming in first place, Harry and Patrick, you guys win a SCUBA Adventure trip at the Great Barrier Reef. Also you will be able to see Sydney Australia as well. Congratulations."

"Hurray!" The twins gleefully smiled and gave each other a hug.

"Tough, wasn't it?" Phil asked them.

"Oh yeah, we are so tired. And we didn't sleep until two yesterday," Harry groaned.

"We went on a little boat ride, you see," Chandler tried to explain.

"Around the Huangpu River," Patrick grinned.

"Yeah, it was very interesting," Chandler explained further.

"And the sights were once in a lifetime," Harry added, while giving Monica and Chandler a very significant look that spoke a thousand words.

"We will never forget it!" Monica caught the Harry's drift.

"Definitely not," Chandler placed his arm around Monica's waist.

"Neither can we!" Patrick added his bit in.

"Oh dear god," Harry exclaimed, "And we also went out for dinner."

"That was pretty good. I am surprised that we are even here. The other teams had loads more sleep than we did," Monica explained.

"Well, you guys sound like you had a hell of a time," Phil grinned back at them, "And you guys still did well. I have some good news for all of you."

"Yeah?" Harry inquired.

"You twelve hour break has been extended to an eighteen hour break. And this lady over here has graciously allowed us to use her house for all the teams to live in for the next eighteen hours. Her house is one of the fixed up alleyway houses known as Shikumen – literally stone gate – and is a traditional Shanghainese style house." Phil explained.

"Oh cool!" Patrick exclaimed.

"And one more thing, Harry and Patrick, how does it feel to win on your home soil?"

"Exhilarating," Patrick grinned.

"Marvellous, simply marvellous," Harry replied in an English accent.

**R/|\R ~ P/|\J ~ S/|\R**

The three teams ran through the alleyways, looking for the indicated building that would serve as the location of the pit-stop. They were all breathing hard and panting, but they pressed forward, determined to reach the end of this very strenuous double leg. They were all together, since they figured that it's better to stick together than to be three separately lost teams.

"My god, that's Phil!" Rachel called out to her boyfriend. They hit the gas and accelerated their pace to a full-out sprint when they saw their target standing on the mat in front of a black and red brick building.

"Whew," Roger added a little more speed to his run, but Ross and Rachel were very far ahead. Phoebe and Joey had found some hidden reserve of energy and pushed forward to catch up with the couple.

Ross and Rachel nearly collided with Phil in their sprint, but managed to slow down before that could happen. Phoebe and Joey hit the mat a few seconds later, and a very tired Simon and Roger walked the last few steps to the mat.

"Welcome to Shanghai, China," The red-dressed woman greeted them.

"Thank... you... so... much..." Roger breathed out the syllables. Everyone else gave their thanks as well, in a faster manner.

"Ross and Rachel, Phoebe and Joey and Simon and Roger, you guys are teams number three, four and five – respectively. Congratulations. This leg was tough, but you guys all did it! So how was it?"

"Exhausting," Roger sighed, "Especially the last bit – kept making mistakes on the DNA!"

"Yeah," Ross agreed, "Thank god for Rachel, she had to correct my base pairs!"

"No problem," Rachel rubbed her boyfriend's arm.

"And we went on that boat ride yesterday. I don't regret it, but we would've been much less tired," Roger sighed.

"Yeah, the sights were fantastic!" Simon grinned.

"Shanghai is beautiful, but it's too hot and humid for me," Rachel commented, "Too crowded too – even for a New Yorker!"

"Yeah, we made a few mistakes today," Roger sighed, "But with some sleep, I hope we can bring our game back."

"I have good news for you guys, you will have a six hour bonus on top of the twelve hours of rest." Phil interjected.

"Really? Phil you are awesome!" Rachel gave Phil a huge hug.

"Yeah!" Phoebe and Joey joined in.

"Enjoy your rest guys," Phil grinned after giving them a map to figure out where their rest house was going to be.

**To Be Continued – Please REVIEW :) Kudos for reading all of this chapter - it's a long one XD.**


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